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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Eating humans is hazardous to your health
2007-07-13
Going out to eat with a pal is one thing, but actually eating your friend for lunch could cause serious health problems.

Health guru Randall Fitzgerald, is the author of The Hundred-Year Lie (Plume), a book that reveals how to protect yourself from chemicals that could ruin your health, and says the human body is so contaminated with chemicals from modern life that we canÂ’t eat ourselves.

Fitzgerald says, “If cannibalism were legal in this country and our flesh was up for review by the FDA, we would all fail the inspection.” He says our bodies house hundreds of synthetic chemicals from beauty products, tap water, and medicines that are all toxic.

So what it boils down to is that being the next Hannibal Lecter is still not a good idea. Says Fitzgerald: “We’re simply not fit for human consumption.”
This "article" is probably a scanned-in press release from the aforementioned "health guru" or the PR type flacking his new book. Apparently someone thought it would be "cute" to talk about environmental chemicals from a cannibalism angle.

What were they thinking? Were they thinking?

Memo to the health guru: cannibalism is creepy.

Memo to the PR flack who thought this was cute: associating your client with cannibalism and other creepiness does not make people want to buy your client's stuff (certain niche markets excepted, of course--but you don't want to go there).
Posted by:Mike

#12  You know the most interesting people, 3dc. Clearly innate leadership ability -- from cannibal chief to Lutheran bishop!
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-07-13 22:41  

#11  Zen, that picture is great! Did you just whip that up?

Nope, nosiree, Bob. That's a genuine Armour pork product. As one wag said, "The grey matter of the other white meat."
Posted by: Zenster   2007-07-13 20:25  

#10  And yet, it is so common that many tribes have developed genetic resistance to diseases like kuru.
Posted by: Iblis   2007-07-13 18:23  

#9  Of course Christianity takes hold very well in cannibal lands - because Christians are so with it eating the body and blood of their God!

Posted by: 3dc   2007-07-13 18:21  

#8  I knew a ex-cannibal chief. (New Guinea) (ex-because he ate everybody he knew before getting religion and becoming the Lutheran Bishop of New Guinea).
He told me civilized man didn't taste good. All, that coffee, tea, stress, drugs and stuff. He preferred to eat organically raised folks. Explained that when they raided another tribe they would raise the kids with them but never feed them meat. Then when the day arrived, it was bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer (no he didn't know about that but it fits into the story so well) and presto chango LONG PIG is SERVED!

Posted by: 3dc   2007-07-13 18:19  

#7  Zen, that picture is great! Did you just whip that up?
Posted by: Mike N.    2007-07-13 18:03  

#6  Besides, it's not kosher.
Posted by: gorb   2007-07-13 17:51  

#5  Consumption of human brain matter has also been identified as the likely source of CJD (Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease):
Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD) is a rare, degenerative, invariably fatal brain disorder. It affects about one person in every one million people per year worldwide; in the United States there are about 200 cases per year. CJD usually appears in later life and runs a rapid course. Typically, onset of symptoms occurs about age 60, and about 90 percent of patients die within 1 year. In the early stages of disease, patients may have failing memory, behavioral changes, lack of coordination and visual disturbances. As the illness progresses, mental deterioration becomes pronounced and involuntary movements, blindness, weakness of extremities, and coma may occur.

There are three major categories of CJD:

In sporadic CJD, the disease appears even though the person has no known risk factors for the disease. This is by far the most common type of CJD and accounts for at least 85 percent of cases.

In hereditary CJD, the person has a family history of the disease and/or tests positive for a genetic mutation associated with CJD. About 5 to 10 percent of cases of CJD in the United States are hereditary.

In acquired CJD, the disease is transmitted by exposure to brain or nervous system tissue, usually through certain medical procedures. There is no evidence that CJD is contagious through casual contact with a CJD patient. Since CJD was first described in 1920, fewer than 1 percent of cases have been acquired CJD.

CJD belongs to a family of human and animal diseases known as the transmissible spongiform encephalopathies (TSEs). Spongiform refers to the characteristic appearance of infected brains, which become filled with holes until they resemble sponges under a microscope. CJD is the most common of the known human TSEs. Other human TSEs include kuru, fatal familial insomnia (FFI), and Gerstmann-Straussler-Scheinker disease (GSS). Kuru was identified in people of an isolated [cannibal] tribe in Papua New Guinea and has now almost disappeared. FFI and GSS are extremely rare hereditary diseases, found in just a few families around the world. Other TSEs are found in specific kinds of animals. These include bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE), which is found in cows and is often referred to as “mad cow” disease; scrapie, which affects sheep and goats; mink encephalopathy; and feline encephalopathy. Similar diseases have occurred in elk, deer, and exotic zoo animals.
[emphasis added]

No matter how adventurous of a culinary explorer I am, nothing on earth could get me to eat any animal's brains. Besides, one look at the nutritional information is enough to make you scream.




Posted by: Zenster   2007-07-13 17:27  

#4  Seems that by the time you choose cannibalism the health factor of the meat is sort of irrelevant.

Reminds me of hte old Dennis Miller joke when he heard that Jeffrey Dahlmer wore a condom while having gay sex. "How is it the wear a condom message got through but the don't eat people one didn't quite sink in?"
Posted by: rjschwarz   2007-07-13 17:15  

#3  Somebody ought to tell Castro he needs to quit.

Posted by: FOTSGreg   2007-07-13 15:40  

#2  "Eating humans is hazardous to your health"

Goddamn right it is. We tend to get nasty and downright organized about it. Ask the cave bear, the dire wolf or the saber-tooth.

Oh, that's right, you can't - they're fucking EXTINCT!
Posted by: mojo   2007-07-13 14:35  

#1  Thanks, Randall. I'll keep this in mind the next time I'm tempted to try cannibalism...
Posted by: tu3031   2007-07-13 14:20  

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