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-Lurid Crime Tales-

Paris Hilton may go back to jail

2007-06-08

Not so fast there, missy...

LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton is headed for a courtroom showdown Friday that could put her back behind bars, as prosecutors sought to hold sheriff's officials in contempt for releasing her early from jail.
Oh, well, Let's get her back in so they won't have room for us...
Hilton was ordered to report to court at 9 a.m. and will be brought in a sheriff's vehicle from her Hollywood Hills home, said Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini.
Does the sheriff's department have limos?
The frenzy began early Thursday when sheriff's officials released Hilton because of an undisclosed medical condition and sent her home under house arrest. She had been in jail for three days. Hilton was fitted with an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet and was expected to finish her 45-day sentence for a reckless driving probation violation at her four-bedroom, three-bath home.
Maybe she'll go swimming with it on an electrocute herself...

No such luck, it's the low voltage model ...

The decision by Sheriff Lee Baca to move Hilton chafed prosecutors and Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer, who spelled out during sentencing that Hilton was not allowed to serve house detention.
Maybe he should've spelled it in Spanish...
Late Thursday, Sauer issued the order for Hilton to return to court after the city attorney filed a petition demanding that Hilton be returned to jail and to show cause why Baca shouldn't be held in contempt of court. Baca does not have to be in court, and it was unclear who would represent the Sheriff's Department.
You! Hack underling! Get down there and take one for the team!
The move also was met with outrage from the sheriff's deputies union, members of the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors, civil rights leaders, defense attorneys and others."What transpired here is outrageous," county Supervisor Don Knabe told The Associated Press, adding he received more than 400 angry e-mails and hundreds more phone calls from around the country. Hilton's return home "gives the impression of ... celebrity justice being handed out," he said.
Noooooooo! How could anybody think that?

Far better to imprison some lower working class mope who did a DUI and let the celebrities go free. They're special you know, they bring joy and happiness into our otherwise dismal lives.

Baca dismissed the criticism, saying the decision was made based on medical advice."It isn't wise to keep a person in jail with her problem over an extended period of time and let the problem get worse," Baca told the Los Angeles Times on Thursday.
Ewwww. Wonder what her "problem" was?

She was depressed. She was in jail. You'd be depressed too ...

"My message to those who don't like celebrities is that punishing celebrities more than the average American is not justice," Baca said.
Damn straight, sherrif!
Yeah! You tell'em, OJ!
See! Even Baretta agrees with me! Free Phil Spector! Free Phil Spector!!
In the hours after Hilton's release, it was a madcap scene outside her house in the hills above the Sunset Strip. As word spread that the 26-year-old poster child for bad celebrity behavior was back home, radio helicopter pilots who normally report on traffic conditions were dispatched to hover over her house and describe it to morning commuters. Paparazzi photographers on the ground quickly assembled outside its gates.
Sounds just like when Paris orders pizza...

Maybe a chopper would crash into a nest of paparazzi, and we'd get a two-fer ...

Shortly before noon, Hilton issued a statement through her attorney."I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally," she said. "I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes."
You'll never take me alive coppers!

Like how to cry her way out of jail ...

Posted by:tu3031

#10 GK linky, According to a source at Century Regional Detention Facility, Ms. Hiltons cell was quarantined immediately following her release, and a team of hazardous materials specialists from the Los Angeles County Fire Department is scheduled to inspect the premise later today. This news led to speculation that Ms. Hilton, who has long been suspected of harboring the mother of all herpes infections, may be sitting on something even more lethal.

Among the most frequently cited possibilities mentioned to a THEM Weekly reporter who visited a number of trendy Los Angeles clubs last night were crabs, radioactive hair-extension lice, bubonic herpes, multiple drug withdrawal, acute anal leakage, a severely prolapsed rectum, chronic inverted nipples, and the bitch cant stand to be alone with herself.

EEeeeeeuuwwwWWW!

Posted by: RD 2007-06-08 23:58

#9 Update update update:

LOS ANGELES - Screaming and crying, Paris Hilton was escorted out of a courtroom and back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that she must serve out her entire 45-day sentence behind bars rather than in her Hollywood Hills home.

"It's not right!" shouted the weeping Hilton, who violated her parole in a reckless driving case. "Mom!" she called out to her mother in the audience.

Do you know who I AM!!!

Hilton, who was brought to court in handcuffs in a sheriff's car, came into the courtroom disheveled and weeping, hair askew, sans makeup, wearing a gray fuzzy sweatshirt over slacks. She cried throughout the hearing, her body shook constantly and she dabbed at her eyes. Several times she turned to her parents, seated behind her in the courtroom, and mouthed, "I love you."

You'll soon meet some people who will love you too. Long time...

Posted by: tu3031 2007-06-08 16:08

#8 Speculation Alert-

If she offerred him money or a job or something like that, she could be in a lot of trouble. Bribery would be a felony.

Posted by: Baba Tutu 2007-06-08 16:04

#7 LOS ANGELES (AP) - 0607xhiltonwrap Paris Hilton was taken from a courtroom screaming and crying Friday seconds after a judge ordered her returned to jail to serve out her entire 45-day sentence for a parole violation in a reckless driving case.

LINK

drudgereport.com is currently featuring a pic of Paris in tears riding in the back of a po-po car.

Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305 2007-06-08 15:36

#6 suspected of harboring the mother of all herpes infections

My condolences to the body cavity inspector.

Posted by: ed 2007-06-08 14:13

#5 Maybe the spoiled brat should be in quarantine.
Hazmat Hilton: According to a source at Century Regional Detention Facility, Ms. Hiltons cell was quarantined immediately following her release, and a team of hazardous materials specialists from the Los Angeles County Fire Department is scheduled to inspect the premise later today. This news led to speculation that Ms. Hilton, who has long been suspected of harboring the mother of all herpes infections, may be sitting on something even more lethal.

Posted by: GK 2007-06-08 14:09

#4 Ya know there is an accident on the Santa Monica Freeway... So she is stuck in traffic... There may be a delay in the proceedings...

Posted by: BigEd 2007-06-08 12:56

#3 Update update:

LOS ANGELES - A judge ordered that Paris Hilton be brought to court Friday for a hearing on her early release from jail rather than listen to the proceeding by telephone.

Get that skinnyass white piece of skankmeat IN HERE godammit!
Ummmmm...right away, your honor...

"Judge Sauer has instructed the Sheriff's Department to go to Ms. Hilton's residence, pick her up and bring her here. That is happening now," Parachini told reporters outside the courthouse.

Somebody better tell Sherrif Baca to put a hold on that Maserati order...

Posted by: tu3031 2007-06-08 12:36

#2 Update:

LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton, who is serving her jail sentence from her Hollywood Hills home, has been given another break. She can call in to her Friday court hearing by phone instead of appearing in person. .

Hilton was ordered to report to court at 9 a.m. The judge signed an order for deputies to bring her in a sheriff's vehicle from her Hollywood Hills home, said Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini. However, Friday morning, Parachini said Hilton would be allowed to take part in the hearing by telephone. The reason for the change was unclear.

I'm sorry, your judgeness. I have another call. It's Brittney. I have to take this...

Posted by: tu3031 2007-06-08 11:55

#1 Hey Paris, better put off the coming home party. Re-schedule the caterers.

Posted by: JohnQC 2007-06-08 11:50

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