From the most respected name in major media :NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Traffic jams threaten lives in America's most populous cities, according to ambulance driver Roald McCorman. "People want to get out of our way, but sometimes there's just no room. Sadly, my crews have lost more than one patient as a result."
But a bold new plan from New York's emergency medical services will eliminate congestion-related deaths completely. "New regulations allow us to retrofit our ambulances with bulldozer blades to clear cars from our path," McCorman explained.
| Oh-h-h-h-h-h, I want one for my morning commute! |
(I'm sure our EMT contingent will approve)
"The ability to shovel snow on-the-go means less dependence on scarce helicopter resources for reaching remote patients," McCorman said. "We'll also be able to gather larger numbers of patients in the scoop, or penetrate rubble, after construction accidents and natural disasters," he added.
McCorman also looks forward to smashing through intact walls to reach the injured. "We're going to see a lot more people saved, now that we can break more than the speed limit," he said.
My favorite WWN story of all time was from 1985 or thereabouts. It alleged that a UFO with a Confederate flag on the bottom had buzzed a bullfight in Mexico and played Dixie as it zoomed past. I thought there were at least 10 or 12 good conspiracy books in this.
Gettysberg and Area 51: a Century of Deceit
General Lee and the REAL Confederate Greys
Lincoln: The First Man in Black?
