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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Today's Idiot
2007-04-24
A man cut off his own penis with a large knife in front of diners at a busy London restaurant.

Witness Stuart McMahon, who was eating at Zizzi in the Strand with his girlfriend on Sunday, told the Sun: "This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about. "Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out. "Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it."

Police said a man in his 30s was taken to a south London hospital where his condition was stable today.
Posted by:anonymous5089

#18  This is what happens when you take away guns.

When guns are outlawed, all wank whackers will have are knives!
Posted by: Zenster   2007-04-24 23:47  

#17  This is what happens when you take away guns.
Posted by: DragonFly   2007-04-24 22:25  

#16  One word: Poleaxed.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-04-24 18:01  

#15  When is a Pole without a pole ?
Posted by: wxjames   2007-04-24 16:04  

#14  So if the Pole was 35 years old, how old was the guy?
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2007-04-24 15:48  

#13  Â“UK Knife Culture Examined”

Personally I think this is a well-placed criticism. Why does the subject of gun control come up when we should be focus entirely on how this obvious nut-case was able to avoid our pathetic mental health-care system?
Posted by: gorb   2007-04-24 15:48  

#12  More details... btw, the "Zizzi" restaurant is a nice touch, as "zizi" means pecker in french.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007180857,00.html
By MIKE SULLIVAN
and JOHN KAY
HORRIFIED diners watched in shock as a maniac sliced off his manhood in a crowded pizza restaurant.

The 35-year-old Pole burst into the Zizzi eaterie in central London and grabbed a knife from the kitchen.

He then leapt on a table and dropped his trousers as customers fled screaming.

A witness said: “There was blood everywhere. Everyone ran out of the place.”

Surgeons battling to save the severed willy tried to sew it back on in the first UK op of its kind.

Quick-thinking cops recovered the organ from the restaurant floor after subduing its crazed owner with CS gas.

The manhood was packed in ice and taken with the man to LondonÂ’s St ThomasÂ’s Hospital.

A spokesman there confirmed doctors had attempted to re-attach it, but the hospital refused to say whether the procedure had been successful.

The 200-seater restaurant on The Strand in central London was packed with runners and spectators from SundayÂ’s Marathon.

Sales rep Stuart McMahon, who was eating supper with his girlfriend, said: “This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about.

“Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out. Then he cut it off. I couldn’t believe it.

“The staff were really upset and there was blood everywhere.”

Police sped to the scene and restrained and handcuffed the man. Several diners were treated for shock by ambulance crews.

A spokesman for the Zizzi restaurant chain said: “It all happened in a matter of seconds and was obviously extremely frightening and distressing. The manager and staff bravely helped evacuate the restaurant.”

Last night cops were trying to establish the Pole’s background. He had left no identification in the clothing he discarded. A source said: “We believe he’s Polish and 35. We don’t know if he has a history of mental illness, but he’s clearly not a well boy.”

A Met Police spokeswoman said: “Officers arrived to find a 35-year-old man with severe self-inflicted injuries.

“No other people were injured and the man was not arrested. He is now stable in hospital.”

The man will be assessed by psychiatrists following treatment for his wounds and is expected to be held under the Mental Health Act for his own safety.

The diner remained shut yesterday for a clean-up operation. It was due to re-open last night.

The Royal College of Surgeons confirmed this was the first time that anyone in the UK had had their penis sewed back on.

After controlling the blood loss, doctors had to repair the blood supply and reanimate the tissue by rejoining the arteries and veins under a microscope.

Top Italian plastic surgeon Dr Nicolo Scuderi said of the operating technique: “We don’t know how much sensitivity and function will be regained.”
Posted by: anonymous5089   2007-04-24 14:49  

#11  Britian is becoming a dickless society.
How sad.
Posted by: wxjames   2007-04-24 13:38  

#10  "...was taken to a south London hospital where his condition was stable today."

"Stable" seems an odd word to use for this guy...

Posted by: Dave D.   2007-04-24 12:30  

#9  Today's Idiot = abu dickless.
Posted by: RD   2007-04-24 11:00  

#8  Maybe Zen, but at least he removed the delivery mechanism....
Posted by: Warthog   2007-04-24 10:55  

#7  With such a preponderance of idiot genes, he should have gone for the sac instead.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-04-24 10:42  

#6  "It cuts, it dices, it OH MY GOD! CALL 911!!"
Posted by: Steven   2007-04-24 10:25  

#5  Happy, happy, joy if only late night TV knife salesmen would take this route.
Posted by: ed   2007-04-24 09:56  

#4  I don't know about you, but I'm not ordering the sausage.
Posted by: Mike   2007-04-24 09:05  

#3  No doubt, after all the condescending opinions from the UK press regarding the VTech tragedy they will also provide an abundance of unsolicited advice with this event as well. I look forward to the insightful pieces such as “Friends lament Missed warning Signs of Penis Cutter”, “UK Knife Culture Examined”, and “The Shocking Secrets of a member of The Member Dismemberment Society”.
Posted by: DepotGuy   2007-04-24 08:22  

#2  He's going to regret that in the morning.
Posted by: gorb   2007-04-24 06:54  

#1  Ya know, I heard that Allah thinks that such an act is the supreme tribute to Him ....
Posted by: Bobby   2007-04-24 06:12  

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