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-Short Attention Span Theater- |
Birkhead's The Daddy |
2007-04-11 |
Larry Birkhead is the father of former Playboy Playmate Anna-Nicole Smith's daughter, DNA tests have revealed. Comes as a surprise, doesn't it? I'd never have suspected... ![]() "All that money's gonna be coming with her!" The photographer added: "Nothing's been determined except parentage. It's been a long road and I'm just happy to have this behind me." "I just hope nothin' Howard K. had me sign comes back to bite me! I'm a lover, not a genius. Come to think of it, aside from bein' pretty, I'm pretty much below average. I mean, think about it. Anna Nicole and I found things to talk about when we weren't humpin'." Dr Michael Baird, a DNA expert from Ohio, presented his findings to a Bahamas court. It was needed as Howard K Stern, who was Anna-Nicole's partner at the time of her death, had claimed to be the dad of Dannielynn. A third man - Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Frederic Von Anhalt - also claimed paternity. I was hoping it was me. The other 749 guys she apparently slept with that month were hoping it was them, too. Really, she liked me best because I was kind to her. I gave her a little something to soothe the blisters. She snorted it, of course. After the results were revealed, Stern said he loved I guess Babydaddy did sign something then... Stern said: "I'm obviously very disappointed, but my feelings for Dannielynn have not changed." "I'll get mine, my pretty! And yer little dawg, too!" He had lived with Anna-Nicole in the Bahamas and is listed on the child's birth certificate as her father. You gotta bang her when the baby's conceived to be the babydaddy. No matter how many times you bang her after the kid's born, it still won't make you Paw. Anna-Nicole died of an accidental drugs overdose on February 8 in a Florida hotel room. Daniel Smith, her 20-year-old son, died in his mother's hospital room where she gave birth to Dannielynn, from a reaction caused by drugs. Stern has hired a lawyer to tackle media who he believes are implicating him in the deaths of Anna-Nicole and her son. Whoa! Just one surprise after the other, ain't it? However, a lawyer for Anna-Nicole's mother, Virgie Arthur, indicated she might seek joint custody |
Posted by:Fred |
#12 Oh, don't worry Lisa, we've forgotten all you. And by the time we've had our fill of Imus the paparazzi will find another poopy celebrity diaper. |
Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305 2007-04-11 15:53 |
#11 So this is over? Well what do you think of that Don Imus guy? I think the media should use all it's resources and get all over him for saying things like that. |
Posted by: Ex Astronaut Lisa Nowak 2007-04-11 12:23 |
#10 Give him credit. A lotta guys tried but Larry got the job done. |
Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305 2007-04-11 12:12 |
#9 Does this mean the freak show is FINALLY over? |
Posted by: Angaiger Tojo1904 2007-04-11 11:36 |
#8 That kid would have a better life going into adoption with no dough attached. |
Posted by: Shipman 2007-04-11 11:08 |
#7 AIDS? Not for the poor kid who will have enough problems of her own. I wonder if she'll ever get to see a dime... But I agree its a freakshow of shallow money grubbing wankers. Larry looked like he just won the sperm lottery. |
Posted by: CrazyFool 2007-04-11 08:34 |
#6 Anna-Nicole died of an There, fixed that. |
Posted by: Captain Renault 2007-04-11 07:57 |
#5 I wonder when the tee shirts, "I banged Anna Nichole Smith" are gonna come out. |
Posted by: Deacon Blues 2007-04-11 07:50 |
#4 Too bad Smith's autopsy didn't reveal that she had AIDS. It's difficult to imagine a more deserving assembly of shallow money grubbing wankers. |
Posted by: Zenster 2007-04-11 06:14 |
#3 I gotta hand it to Birkhead, I didn't think he had it in him; but he tapped that ass and proved us all wrong!! |
Posted by: smn 2007-04-11 04:58 |
#2 I dunno, kidz these days. |
Posted by: Shipman 2007-04-11 01:55 |
#1 Look's like we have a winner of the sperm sweepstakes |
Posted by: Captain America 2007-04-11 01:38 |