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Down Under
Australian imams urged to become lifesavers, firemen
2007-03-22
Really, we don't make this stuff up.
SYDNEY: Australia’s Islamic clerics should volunteer as surf lifesavers and firemen to improve their image in a country which has “had enough of us,” an influential Muslim leader suggested on Wednesday.
Picked right up on that, didn't you, Tom? What was your first clue?
The president of Australia’s largest Islamic organisation, the Lebanese Muslim Association, made the call in a 16-page report to be considered by the nation’s clerics at a meeting this weekend. Tom Zreika suggests Muslims have become as unpopular as communists once were, and accuses some clerics of inciting hatred and violence “on the preposterous justification that they are simply acting in self-defence in a time of war”.
I'm not too sure how hollering "Lookit me! I'm the extreme lower end of a digestive tract!" can be termed "self-defense." Sounds more like a plea for a kick to the scrotum.
“We are not at war,” says Zreika, who confirmed that details of his report published in The Australian newspaper on Wednesday were accurate. “We have become the new communism, particularly in the West, and some people in our community are so repulsed by our actions it is making life unbearable for us and our offspring,” Zreika says.
"So the problem we face is: How do we overcome being repulsive?"
In a nation where beach culture is strong and public service volunteers are hailed as heroes, Zreika said fire fighting and lifesaving could help Australia’s 300,000 Muslims improve their image. “It would be great to see a turbaned imam fighting fires alongside other bushfire service volunteers,” Zreika, a lawyer, says in his submission to the Australian National Imams Council. “Organisations like the Surf Lifesaving Association should be joined as a matter of course by the imam and his followers.”
"Mum! You'll never guess what happened! I wuz havin' a swim when I got caught up in the undertow and swept out to sea! I thought it was all over, but then some obnoxious arsehole in a turban rescued me!"
"Gosh, Molly! I wonder if it was the same obnoxious arsehole who put out the fire at the Jones' house?"
Posted by:Fred

#19  Darn it! all female firefighters. PIMF!

That is a point, Frank. Zenster dear, you are very wise to duck.
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-03-22 16:54  

#18   but there is no feminine version of "beard rippling down his manly chest"

well, that Talib ban on shaving extends to the Pashtun women as well, I'd bet..
Posted by: Frank G   2007-03-22 16:16  

#17  there is no feminine version of "beard rippling down his manly chest"

Errr ... How about, "Something somethings rippling on her feminine chest"?
[ducks]
Posted by: Zenster   2007-03-22 16:01  

#16  He'd get in the way of the other firefighters actually trying to put the fire out

Pish tosh! The flaming imam (Great band name: The Flaming Imams), would serve as a perfectly good urinal, if the other smoke-eaters even bothered to feel so inclined.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-03-22 15:57  

#15  He'd get in the way of the other firefighters actually trying to put the fire out, Zenster. Separately, my apologies to all female fire and their fans, but there is no feminine version of "beard rippling down his manly chest" that I even want to begin thinking about.
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-03-22 15:11  

#14  Tom Zreika, president of the Lebanese Muslim Association - and Sheikh Hilali's employer - said he received non-stop phone threats yesterday after he released a document urging greater integration and for Muslims to "mend their ways".

Ha Ha [/Nelson Muntz]

"Never mind drowning, he's going to burn like an oil-soaked torch."

You say that like it's a bad thing.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-03-22 14:56  

#13  Among TW's many talents is one of painting very inspirational pictures using only words. Melikey.
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2007-03-22 14:18  

#12  Public service is far outside the domain of a culture bent on self worship. Forget it. It's "beneath" these fanatic Mohammedans to lift a finger to help someone else. They think of themselves as kings and all others as slaves. They have no Judeo-Christian cultural framework to fall back on, nor a prosocial one to access in terms of public service. But-- nice try Tom.

Also, probably against some stupid "code of Mohammed" for them to touch infidel females--not that they wouldn't like an excuse.
Posted by: ex-lib   2007-03-22 14:09  

#11  whos's for taking the Islamic clerics up to salty country and let those super sized crocks feed real good.
Posted by: RD   2007-03-22 13:59  

#10  You know, I think ole Tom is on the right track in some ways.

He recognizes that THEY are the problem.

"some people in our community are so repulsed by our actions it is making life unbearable for us and our offspring,”

Note: OUR actions seems to imply he realizes that Muslim actions are the problem. Of course this means that some of his fellow Muzzies want to kill him.
Posted by: AlanC   2007-03-22 13:19  

#9  The stuff of nightmares. I have the image of an imam in full flowing robed and sandaled regalia, beard rippling down his manly chest (all firemen have manly chests by definition), turban tightly wound, in the midst of a fire... as a spark lands on the hem of his garment. Never mind drowning, he's going to burn like an oil-soaked torch.
Posted by: trailing wife   2007-03-22 12:02  

#8  Wouldn't rescuing someone from drowning be going against the will of Allah?
Posted by: Steve   2007-03-22 11:26  

#7  I can picture a lifesaver imam having to be rescued by sunbathers because... he never learned to swimming.
Posted by: JFM   2007-03-22 07:41  

#6  I can just picture imams in Speedos, turbans and sticks in hand chasing after infidel sunbathers to cover up.
Posted by: ed   2007-03-22 06:37  

#5  wow, two days and two true Muslim moderates. I'm heartened.
Posted by: Harcourt Clerong1339   2007-03-22 06:26  

#4  Some follow up news....From the Melbourne Age newspaper

Outspoken Muslim seeks police protection
By Barney Zwartz
March 22, 2007

One of Australia's most important Muslim leaders has sought police protection after criticising controversial cleric Sheikh Taj al-Din al-Hilali.

Tom Zreika, president of the Lebanese Muslim Association - and Sheikh Hilali's employer - said he received non-stop phone threats yesterday after he released a document urging greater integration and for Muslims to "mend their ways".

The report, prepared for a national meeting of imams in Sydney this weekend, says some Muslims are "ruining it" for all and that Australians have "had enough" of Muslims. His report also recommends that imams become involved in community activities such as voluntary firefighting and surf lifesaving.

Mr Zreika said he was threatened recently after saying, "I can't tolerate this freak show", following recent remarks by Sheikh Hilali.

But yesterday, after the contents of his paper were publicised, the threats, from Muslims, came non-stop.

"They just say, 'Mate if you don't shut your mouth we are going to come and fix you up'," Mr Zreika said. "I know they are Muslims because they quote Muslim prayers."

In his paper, Mr Zreika, a barrister, says the vast majority of non-Muslims understood and empathised with Islamic issues in Australia, but a small group of Muslims were inciting anti-Islamic feelings.

"Only when we mend our ways and we respect our fellow country people can we demand tolerance and forbearance."

Among Mr Zreika's suggestions for the new board of imams, which will be responsible for accrediting prospective clerics, are that imams should be citizens or permanent residents and not have been members of suspicious groups. He says they must do everything possible to prevent radicalism or fanaticism.
Posted by: Bunyip   2007-03-22 04:18  

#3  Imams worldwide could begin to improve their image by issuing vocal public condemnations of terrorism, recommending staunch loyalty to the nations they immigrate to, and advocating that members of their congregation report to the authorities any subversive/jihadist recruitment efforts that come to their attention.
Posted by: Grumenk Philalzabod0723   2007-03-22 01:49  

#2  Â“We have become the new communism, particularly in the West, and some people in our community are so repulsed by our actions it is making life unbearable for us and our offspring,”

How quaint of Zreika to confuse communism with Nazism. Where he is most mistaken, however, is in thinking that a repulsed community is making things unbearable for them. This is another fine example of the incessant fixation that Muslims have with playing the victim. In quite the opposite fashion, Australian Muslims, with their gang rapes, seditious terrorist plots and interminable whingeing are unbearable and that is what makes them repulsive. Not the other way around.
Posted by: Zenster   2007-03-22 01:40  

#1  Ifn I squint and use me periferial visions I can almost see the 5 Swimming Imams.
Posted by: Shipman   2007-03-22 01:05  

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