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Anna Nicole Smith Awarded Sainthood by the Church of the SubGenius |
2007-02-15 |
February 14, 2007: The Church of the SubGenius has awarded posthumous Sainthood to late performer and actress Anna Nicole Smith. The Church acknowledged Miss Smith's fey, outrageous lifestyle and agreed that it meets its standards for Sainthood. Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs laid down a set of rules for members of the Church to live their lives, and Miss Smith's life has met the following criteria: 1. She spent her life Slacking Off, and did not conform to the expectations of others. In the official Calendar of SubGenius Saints, the date of May 1st will be set aside for honoring Miss Smith. She will share this day with Saint Catherine I (The Great) of Russia, who also had Sainthood bestowed on her posthumously by the Church. The Church of the SubGenius is a popular organization often seen as a "parody" of religious cults, including Scientology, the Raelians, and the Unification Church. It was founded in 1953 by a mysterious figure named J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, whose smiling, pipe-smoking image has been seen worldwide in chip art, graffiti, tattoos, and rock albums from performers ranging from Devo and George Clinton to Sublime. A number of celebrities are SubGenius ministers, including former Talking Heads singer David Byrne, Penn Jillette, late science fiction author Robert Anton Wilson, comic book artist R. Crumb, and Pee-Wee Herman. In 2001, the Church offered a formal invitation to Miss Smith, for her to attend its annual End of the World celebration (X-Day) as a vacation from the stress of her daily life. Anna Nicole Smith is not the first celebrity to be awarded posthumous Sainthood in the Church. In 1986, an official SubGenius minister ordainment was bestowed upon Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, a scant two weeks before his death. In his published autobiography, rock and roll singer Frank Zappa acknowledged his agreement with the Church's ideals, though refused to join the organization; a posthumous Sainthood was awarded to him by the Church shortly after his passing. |
Posted by:anonymous5089 |
#14 I love it, being a Star Trek fan, and being born on Saint Leonard Nimoy Day. Beam me up. |
Posted by: WolfDog 2007-02-15 21:15 |
#13 Thanks for the update, 'moose. I couldn't check the site from work [damn firewalls, filters, etc...]. |
Posted by: xbalanke 2007-02-15 19:56 |
#12 St. R. Crumb is April 22nd, according to their calendar. I might add that I think he is a SubGenius Reverend, along with Paul Mavrides of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers fame. |
Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-02-15 17:57 |
#11 Spot: it's sad commentary on today's edumacation standards when so many do not remember Wonder Warthog. Agreed. Mr. Natural sez: "They really should have a feast day for St. R. Crumb." |
Posted by: xbalanke 2007-02-15 14:48 |
#10 xbalanke - it's sad commentary on today's edumacation standards when so many do not remember Wonder Warthog. "But I can still use my snout!" |
Posted by: Spot 2007-02-15 13:31 |
#9 Cool: I was born on St. Slim Pickens day. 14 St. Wonder Warthog Should I be ashamed that I recognize this one? |
Posted by: xbalanke 2007-02-15 13:17 |
#8 I was thinking about killing a few pets from the neighbourhood, but that's ok too. |
Posted by: anonymous5089 2007-02-15 12:43 |
#7 Oh, and as I mentioned on the other thread, the sacraments for St. Anna Nichole Smith are Cristal champagne, the best $350 bottle of champagne you can buy at a truck stop, and pink Hostess sno balls. Though I have no guess about the assorted rituals, which are probably pretty gross. |
Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-02-15 12:42 |
#6 anonymous5089: Saint Stalin's Day should be easy to celebrate. Probably involves making omelets. |
Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-02-15 12:40 |
#5 Like the bumper sticker says: "Slack Happens" |
Posted by: xbalanke 2007-02-15 12:25 |
#4 Hey, I was born on Saint-Stalin day. Weird. |
Posted by: anonymous5089 2007-02-15 11:59 |
#3 Just FYI, the other Holy Days on the SubGenius calendar for the month of May: May 1 St. Anna Nichole Smith (The Great) 2 St. Nina Hartley 3 St. Frank Zappa 4 St. Rodney Allen Rippey 5 St. Tiberius 6 St. Guiness (The Stout) 7 St. Peter Lorre 8 St. Buddha/St. Chivington (Delousing Day) 9 St. Medea/St. Oedipus (approximate) 10 St. John Holmes 11 St. Salvador Dali 12 St. Hugh Hefner 13 St. Judy Tenuta 14 St. Wonder Warthog 15 St. Jagger 16 St. Bismarck 17 St. Laval homeboy 18 St. Leonard Nimoy 19 St. Fats Waller 20 St. Edward II 21 Free Money Day 22 St. Elphinstone 23 St. Slim Pickens 24 Victory over the U.S. Day (Can.) 25 St. Stalin 26 St. Lenny Bruce (The Great) 27 St. Edward Teach/Pillage Festival 28 St. Pere Ubu (Roi) 29 St. Spike Jones 30 St. Winnie Ruth Judd 31 Desecration Day |
Posted by: Anonymoose 2007-02-15 11:48 |
#2 I wonder what Rick's charged her estate for the champagne? |
Posted by: tu3031 2007-02-15 11:08 |
#1 And in other Anna Nicole news, here in Houston the gals at one of her old workplaces gathered to toast her memory. |
Posted by: Angie Schultz 2007-02-15 11:05 |