Ahh, I see. It's her fault! Well, look at it this way: At least it shows that in his heart of hearts he knew it was wrong.
"My wife was never home," Floyd Kinney Jr. said during his plea hearing Friday.
She did it on purpose! I'm the real victim here!
Kinney's explanation did not sit well with Northampton County Judge F.P. Kimberly McFadden,
Be careful, Floyd. The judge is a woman.
"Some people, when their wives are not home, decide to do other things, like clean their living rooms," McFadden said. "Your behavior is beyond the pale."
"Hey, it's all I could think of!"
Kinney, 49, said his wife would sometimes argue with him over money and that he was angry she was spending too much on bingo.
She made me so mad!
"She would be going to bingo three, four times a week. I told her to stop going to bingo, and she said, 'If they had bingo every day, I'd go every day,"' he said.
So I thought to myself, "All right, I'll show you!
Records say Kinney molested one of the girls, now 26, from 1992-97. He sexually assaulted the second girl, now 17, for a year beginning in January 2005, records show.
The math says the first girl was all of 12 when he started with her.
Kinney pleaded guilty to two counts of aggravated indecent assault. The felony charges carry a combined maximum penalty of 20 years in prison and a $50,000 fine.
"Floyd, meet Bubba.""Bubba, this is Floyd. He is going to start rooming with you shortly. You can pick a name for him them."
"Err, Your Honor, what would the fine be for no time spent in jail?"
Defense attorney Richard Yetter said his client was not articulate and may not have been doing a good job of conveying his rationale to the judge.
Well, looks like Richard did his job right up until the end.
But McFadden said she found Kinney capable of explaining himself. "I think he is telling me exactly what was going on," the judge said. "His wife was not home so he was going to perpetrate on someone and he picked these two children."
You've got 20 years to look forward to your big roommate who, when the guards aren't looking, is going to perpetrate on someone and he will pick you.