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| Iraq |
| Chuck Norris Visits Fallujah |
| 2006-11-03 |
| CAMP FALLUJAH, Iraq -- (Nov. 1, 2006) -- Multi-National Forces – West received an exponential boost in power when action films stars Chuck Norris and Marshall Teague visited Camp Fallujah Nov. 1. Marshall Teague often played a Narn in Babylon 5, and not doubt, other roles. The visit was part of their United Service Organizations-sponsored tour of Al Anbar Province, Iraq, and Kuwait. “I came out here to see the morale of the troops and give them a morale boost,” said the 66-year-old martial arts expert. “If it helps them in any way positively, I’m elated.” Brig. Gen Robert B. Neller, deputy commanding general for MNF-W, and Maj. Gen. Richard C. Zilmer, commanding general MNF-W, worked diligently to bring Norris and Teague here for their deployed warriors. Norris explained he planned to visit Iraq three years ago, but because of an impending major operation he was unable to make the trip. He said he believes the operation was tied to the capture of Saddam Hussein, which was announced two days after the trip cancellation. During their tour, they were able to observe an operations intelligence briefing, visit Fallujah Surgical, and were given a Marine Corps Martial Arts Program demonstration at the chapel. The service members who attended the assembly at the chapel looked ecstatic when Norris and Teague arrived there, chanting “Chuck, Chuck, Chuck …” and the troops broke into an uproar when the living-legends entered the building. Before the Marine Corps Martial Arts demonstration, Col. George H. Bristol, Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters Group commanding officer, spoke about the program’s benefits to the user. Bristol mentioned that when he was putting together the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program, Chuck Norris was one of the first people to take an interest in the development. “The Marine Corps is a fighting organization, based on honor, courage, and commitment, and that’s how Chuck Norris has lived his life. This is a match made in heaven,” said Bristol. Following the demonstration, Norris highlighted his career as a martial arts expert and movie star in a speech to more than 1,000 service members. He also talked about his Kick-Start program for teaching middle-school kids martial arts and keeping them away from drugs and gangs. The statement earned him an ovation from the crowd. Norris also saluted all the military members who attended, and let them know how special the military is to him. “The military is very close to me, because it turned my life around,” Norris said about his four-year tenure in the Air Force, where he served in Korea in the early ‘60s. “Joining the military helped me get on the right path.” “It’s cool to have someone of his stature out here,” said Cpl. Michael E. Hamilton, a scout sniper with 2nd Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment. “(The USO) could have sent somebody who had nothing to do with the military, but they sent Chuck Norris.” “I think it was great he came out here to see us,” said Sgt. Frank Ellin, staff secretary administration noncommissioned officer and information systems coordinator. “I know he’s busy, and it was awesome he came out here to see us troops and raise our morale.” Norris and Teague will see more than 10,000 troops in their four-day volunteer tour of Al Anbar Province and Kuwait, said Rachel M. Tischler, USO director of entertainment. Norris also spoke about how he already had ties with troops deployed to Iraq. “We communicate to a lot of troops out here through our Web site,” the Walker Texas Ranger star said. “I’m a spiritual leader to 10 platoons here in Iraq.” The master of the roundhouse kick also mentioned what will stick out to him the most about his visit. “I’ll remember the smiles on the faces of the troops. They’re great kids out here,” he said. “These troops are motivated to win this war.” |
| Posted by:Bobby |
| #28 Q: What do you call the sort of barbaric cretin who wants sex on a first date? A: A man. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2006-11-03 23:10 |
| #27 Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 22:35 |
| #26 Chuck Norris isnÂ’t lactose intolerant. He just doesnÂ’t put up with lactoseÂ’s shit. |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 22:34 |
| #25 Chuck Norris doesn't visit, he infiltrates with extreme prejudice. |
| Posted by: Hupeaper Slarong5013 2006-11-03 22:26 |
| #24 Chuck NorrisÂ’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Mebbe so, but a Smith & Wesson still beats four aces. So, nothing about Chuck Norris' sperm smoking Marlboroughs? |
| Posted by: Zenster 2006-11-03 16:28 |
| #23 *ring* Chuck: "Yes? Chuck Norris here." Sauron: "Oh, sorry. Nevermind." |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 15:13 |
| #22 For the Doc. |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 14:52 |
| #21 ABC Nightline (usually *spit*) story... "These kids might never recognize the kid Norris once was: scrawny, uncoordinated, raised by a single mom in Oklahoma. He joined the Air Force in 1958, after high school, and discovered martial arts while stationed in Korea. He came home with a black belt. He began competing in order to drum up business for his karate studio and went on to win six world titles." |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 14:39 |
| #20 "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know when Chuck Norris going to kill you." |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 14:37 |
| #19 What's an object with a gravitational field so strong that nothing can escape it — not even light? Black Hole? WRONG! Chuck Norris. |
| Posted by: mcsegeek1 2006-11-03 14:36 |
| #18 "The dinosaurs pissed off Chuck Norris once... ONCE." |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 14:27 |
| #17 http://www.whatwouldchucknorrisdo.net/ |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 14:22 |
| #16 http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-11-03 14:12 |
| #15 Rofl!!! "If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever." "Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship." "Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5." Gawd, my face hurts, lol. |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 13:40 |
| #14 On Chuck Norris 'mania' sweeping the Net By Chuck norris |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-11-03 13:33 |
#13 The 5 Commandments that Mel, er, Moses dropped coming down the mountain:11. Thou shalt not Kill, not becauseth it's bad, but becauseth that's Chuck's job. |
| Posted by: .com 2006-11-03 13:01 |
| #12 Chuck Norris doesn't visit Fallujah. Fallujah visits Chuck Norris! |
| Posted by: Dar 2006-11-03 12:36 |
| #11 During the 15th century Chuck Norris became tired of sailors complaining about falling off the edge of the Earth. Chuck Norris then round house kicked the Earth and made it round. He then created Scientology so that one day he could have a reason to hate Tom Cruise. |
| Posted by: mcsegeek1 2006-11-03 11:58 |
| #10 the one 'bout Chuck Norris and the Old Testament is purty gud. |
| Posted by: RD 2006-11-03 11:24 |
| #9 A5089: I had never heard the Amelia Earhart one before. I thought that was great. |
| Posted by: Charles 2006-11-03 10:56 |
| #8 Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill every insurgent in Fallujah...Fourty seven times. |
| Posted by: mcsegeek1 2006-11-03 10:24 |
| #7 "Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash." "If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's f#####g beef." |
| Posted by: IG-88 2006-11-03 10:24 |
| #6 chuck norris's cowboy boots are made out of cowboys |
| Posted by: Fleater Chimp8076 2006-11-03 09:32 |
| #5 I think my favorite is Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-11-03 09:28 |
| #4 The Theory of Evolution one always cracks me up. |
| Posted by: JAB 2006-11-03 09:25 |
| #3 Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck NorrisÂ’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Chuck Norris doesnÂ’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. |
| Posted by: OldSpook 2006-11-03 09:24 |
| #2 Well, it's always good to find out you're on the same side as the Narn. BTW, you forgot: Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Unfortunately he never cries. |
| Posted by: Abdominal Snowman 2006-11-03 09:23 |
| #1 Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?" Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears. When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious. |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-11-03 08:34 |