| Submit your comments on this article |
| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Nice work if you can get it |
| 2006-09-29 |
| Somebody always beats me to these great ideas... Columbus - A chiropractor who was accused of medical malpractice this spring for charging patients $60 an hour to heal their pain telepathically surrendered his license Thursday. Muldoon, slap the braclets on him! Dr. James C. Burda of Athens had claimed he possessed the power to heal clients via techniques he dubbed "Bahlaqeem Vina" and "Bahlaqeem Jaqem," made-up terms that he said described his ability to go back in time to the date of an injury and realign bones and joints using telekinetic vibration. Wow. It's like "Time Tunnel"! What if Spartacus needed a chiropractor? The doc'd be there! History could've been changed! After stumbling across his Web site, bahlaqeem.com, the Ohio State Chiropractic Board accused him of being a long-distance quack, charging that a psychological exam determined he was mentally ill and suffered from "delusional disorder, grandiose type." Hmmmmmmm. Should've become a lawyer instead... In an interview in April, Burda, 58, said he discovered his "God-given gift" when his foot began to hurt while he was driving from Athens to Parkersburg, W.Va. He said he commanded it to stop and the pain went away. Wow. I'm impressed. He was back in his car Thursday when a reporter called to ask about the surrender of his license and his written admission that Bahlaqeem "is not an acceptable form of treatment according to acceptable and prevailing standards of chiropractic care." Wow. The scene of the original miracle. Funny how things work out... "I really can't speak to you right now; I'm in my vehicle," he said. "Maybe we can visit a little more when I'm not in my vehicle." He then hung up. Vehicle don't fail me now... Burda was subjected to national ridicule after regulators filed disciplinary charges against him. He earned a "News of the Weird" entry and caused humorist Dave Barry to lament: "If only they could do this for prostate exams." A famous quack. I wonder if he pulls that, "Do you know who I am " shit? Burda's Web site promises "pain relief any time, anywhere . . . in the privacy of your home or other personal space" for $60 (checks and money orders accepted). Even over the phone. In fact, I prefer it that way... It includes a "testimonial" from a 10-year-old basset hound and says Burda chose the word Bahlaqeem to describe his technique because it has "a soothing vibrational influence and contains the very special number of nine letters." He knows a talking basset hound? This guy's amazing! A section titled "Wonderments of the Body" includes this wonderment in answer to the question, "Why do the fingers bend down at an angle when I close my hand slowly?": Now that's deep! "The hand works like this in order to give you the most power between each finger and your thumb. The powerful, opposable thumb. It is human." Wow. I wonder if he knew Darwin in a previous life? Or if he was Darwin? Burda had been practicing in Ohio since 1991. And it only took them 15 years to catch him... |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #6 A bargain at only 1/4 the rate of the Psychic Friends Network. |
| Posted by: ed 2006-09-29 21:20 |
| #5 Hope it's better than the Vulcan Tuna Melt. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2006-09-29 21:14 |
| #4 Maybe he discovered the Vulcan Mind Melt. |
| Posted by: Penguin 2006-09-29 19:17 |
| #3 Lots of folks I know swear by them. I went to one once. He had his trainee come in and check me out. The trainee was searching like the dickens to figure out what the problem was, but said he was stumped. "We don't see many perfect backs," the senior said. My problem was muscle strain and he recommended taking it easy for a week. Wouldn't accept payment. Said it was worth it for his trainee to see a good back. They're not all charlatans. |
| Posted by: Nimble Spemble 2006-09-29 19:15 |
| #2 Going all the way back to H.L. Mencken, chiropractors have been known as charlatans. The insurance companies gave out a massive groan when the feds allowed them to take Medicare dollars, which is just a money tree to them, and their rates nationwide quintupled overnight. On the plus side, they do represent Darwin in action, the culling of the stupid as surely as the religious who try and pray away communicable disease. |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2006-09-29 18:09 |
| #1 the Ohio State Chiropractic Board accused him of being a long-distance quack I protest this vicious slander on behalf of all migrating ducks! |
| Posted by: Zenster 2006-09-29 17:43 |