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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Osama obsessed with Whitney Houston
2006-08-21
NY Post gossip column, h/t Tim Blair

OSAMA bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States - the world's most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he's even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.

Kola Boof, 37, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden's sex slave, writes in her autobiography, "Diary of a Lost Girl," which is excerpted in the September Harper's: "He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

Boof - who wrote for the soap opera "The Days of Our Lives" until she was axed last month - continues, "He said that he had a paramount desire for [Houston] and although he claimed music was evil, he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting."

Boof says bin Laden couldn't stop talking about his favorite singer and had lofty plans for her. "He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives."

But bin Laden's murderous side also emerged in his fantasies about the pop superstar. "[He would say] how beautiful she is," Boof claims, "what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have womens' husbands killed.

"In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name," Boof writes.

I can imagine the hit single now:

If Bobby Brown should stay,
He would only be in my way.
He's gotta go, up he will blow,
I'll give you a burkha and take you away.

And I-I-I will all-wayyyyys love youuuu.
I will always love you.
You, my darling you. Hmm.

Wahabbi memories
That is all I'm taking with me.
So, read your Koran. Please, understand.
We both know I get what I want and I need.

And I-I-I will all-wayyyyys love youuuu. . . .

I know I won't treat you kind
And a harem is not what you've dreamed of.
But I'm the sheik, and I'm the caliph,
And underweight druggie chicks I can't get enough of.

And I-I-I will all-wayyyyys love youuuu. . . .
Posted by:Mike

#10  Binny's right. In the photo above she is "truly islamic".
Posted by: Mark Z   2006-08-21 19:24  

#9  Two has beens, what a perfect match.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-08-21 19:02  

#8  Going on and on here (hey, I'm entitled cuz' I'm an "old timer" around here - heh) but why anyone would give up this for this is beyond me.
Posted by: ex-lib   2006-08-21 15:54  

#7  more anti-drug advertisement, courtesy WH
Posted by: ex-lib   2006-08-21 15:49  

#6   what Binny used to get the hots for
Posted by: ex-lib   2006-08-21 15:46  

#5  Yep, those mounting mountain goats must get a little old for Binny and the Doctor.
Posted by: Captain America   2006-08-21 12:54  

#4  hey, at least she can take a punch
Posted by: Frank G   2006-08-21 12:36  

#3  Guess Binny ain't seen her lately... and Moose has the proof.
Posted by: tu3031   2006-08-21 11:18  

#2  It got smoked up in a crack pipe.

She now looks like a concentration camp survivor. Hair's a wig and teeth have fallen out.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Posted by: Anonymoose   2006-08-21 11:15  

#1  I'd wondered what happened to her career.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2006-08-21 11:11  

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