It's a faaaaake!
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| Eco-Dumbass Freezes To Death Because Of Global Warming | ||
| 2006-08-02 | ||
(Punta Arenas, Chile) Famed global warming activist James Schneider and a journalist friend were both found frozen to death on Saturday, about 90 miles from South Pole Station, by the pilot of a ski plane practicing emergency evacuation procedures. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing", recounted the pilot, Jimmy Dolittle. "There were two snowmobiles with cargo sleds, a tent, and a bright orange rope that had been laid out on the ice, forming the words, 'HELP-COLD'".
Apparently, while all of Prof. Schneider's friends were assuming that the July trek would be to Greenland, during Northern Hemisphere summer, his plans were actually to snowmobile to the South Pole - which, in July, is in the dead of winter.
"And I was surprised to see how close they got to South Pole Station. They ran through all of their gas supplies for the snowmobiles", explained Doolittle. "They had cold weather gear and clothes, but during this time of year you just don't go outside unless it is an emergency." "At least James died for something he believed in", said Mrs. Schneider. "He died while trying to raise awareness of the enormous toll that global warming is taking on the Earth." | ||
| Posted by:Anonymoose |
| #23 not funny |
| Posted by: Chili Davis 2006-08-02 22:14 |
| #22 It's a satire, nobody is that stupid. OK, maybe Cynthia McKinney, and Mel Gibson, and Cindy "I gained 5 lbs on my hunger strike" Sheehan ... but not that many people are that stupid. |
| Posted by: DMFD 2006-08-02 21:22 |
| #21 How would you get from Chilie to Antarctica in the winter? |
| Posted by: 6 2006-08-02 18:39 |
| #20 Anyone want to put together a fund to send Al Gore on a trip like this? |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2006-08-02 13:28 |
| #19 Now if he had called it "climate change" instead of "global warming" LIKE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO NOW, he'd still be dead but he wouldn't look as stupid.(yeah, I know it's fake) |
| Posted by: tu3031 2006-08-02 11:03 |
| #18 Funny thing is, even though articles from this site have been linked at RB before (and, thus, I knew it was satire), I read the thing and thought, this could be printed in NY Slimes any day now as Gospel Truth(tm). |
| Posted by: BA 2006-08-02 10:29 |
| #17 Well, without Schneider's output of hot air, global warming should now be alleviated. Wait a minute! I've got an idea! |
| Posted by: mcsegeek1 2006-08-02 10:28 |
| #16 If you look way down at the bottom of the page, you'll find a link to this: DISCLAIMER All content on this site, being a mixture of parody, satire, and lame humor, is for entertainment purposes only. If any content is found to be offensive or objectionable in any way, please accept our apologies... but we also suggest that you get a life. Scrappleface appears to have some competion. I'm going to bookmark it. |
| Posted by: Steve 2006-08-02 08:26 |
| #15 If you Google "global warming activist James Schneider," this is the only article about him that comes up. |
| Posted by: Mike 2006-08-02 07:40 |
| #14 "At least James died for something he believed in", said Mrs. Schneider. "He died while trying to raise awareness of the enormous toll that global warming is taking on the Earth." Activist and Journalist, what no attorney? This really is the stuff of internet humour. Thanks for the insightful message Linda. (why do I have a mental pic of Mother Sheehan right now?). Most of us will eventually "die having done something we believed in." But most of us are not careless and stupid. |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2006-08-02 07:27 |
| #13 It's a faaaaake! |
| Posted by: gromky 2006-08-02 06:19 |
| #12 See just like EUropean news papers, you can make thsi stuff up :p |
| Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom 2006-08-02 03:45 |
| #11 The Super Hurricane Jets are just another secret in the Rove-Cheney-Haliburton conspiracy. You all are destined for a visit from the black helicopters now! |
| Posted by: Oldcat 2006-08-02 01:58 |
| #10 Yup Phil I was thinking the same thing them damn jets must be freaking hugh. :) |
| Posted by: djohn66 2006-08-02 01:55 |
| #9 Assuming those jets are the same distance from the camera as the eye wall, and the eye wall is about ten miles wide... how big are the jets? |
| Posted by: Phil 2006-08-02 01:36 |
| #8 I saw the headline, Phil, but was disappointed by the article. Not subtle enough. I was hoping that it would be something like: Authentic TANG documents provided by Lucy Ramirez prove that F-102 jets, such as those flown by President Bush in his youth, are the sole source for today's global warming. |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2006-08-02 01:17 |
| #7 I'm with Angie. This stuff is tongue firmly in cheek. If you'd like to see how stupid an environmentalist can actually be, check out the documentary "Grizzly Man" from your local Blockbuster. You will not believe it. My wife said it was almost like 'Reno 911' as brilliant satire but it's real! |
| Posted by: JDB 2006-08-02 00:53 |
| #6 Not only that, Angie, but look at this: http://www.ecoenquirer.com/Bush-jets-and-Katrina.htm. "Did Bush Jets Influence Hurricane Katrina?" I hope this is satire. |
| Posted by: Phil 2006-08-02 00:44 |
| #5 Hook, line, sinker. |
| Posted by: Seafarious 2006-08-02 00:37 |
| #4 Sounds like hims and the missus may have had some personal or communication probs, or she seriously flunked Geography 101, given the overwhelming difficulties in saying "South Pole" or "South Pole Ice Sheet/Cap, Honeymuffin", in the Queen's English. Five-or-less short words, or lack thereof, have officially killed a man. |
| Posted by: JosephMendiola 2006-08-02 00:31 |
| #3 ...pilot, Jimmy Dolittle. This has been a test of the Emergency Bullshit System. Please calibrate your detectors accordingly, using these EcoEnquirer articles: Penguins "Fed Up" With Media Attention EPA to Mandate Reductions in Emissions from Volcanoes California Town Bans Tsunamis Evidence of Hurricanes Before Global Warming? |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2006-08-02 00:28 |
| #2 I am partial to awarding the "dumbest thing ever said" award to the grieving missus: " "He kept talking about when they 'get down to chili', and I thought they were talking about the order in which they would consume their food supplies", anybody got a picture of her: bet she's a blonde. |
| Posted by: USN,Ret 2006-08-02 00:17 |
| #1 Darwin Award territory? This line makes me think it's a satire/hoax though: "At least James died for something he believed in", said Mrs. Schneider. "He died while trying to raise awareness of the enormous toll that global warming is taking on the Earth." What better way to raise awareness of warming that by freezing? |
| Posted by: JAB 2006-08-02 00:12 |