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| -Lurid Crime Tales- |
| Major Controversy In Bigfoot Expert World |
| 2006-07-22 |
| If you can't trust Bigfoot experts, who can you trust... Bigfoot -- that bashful, large lug of a hairy monster -- is causing trouble among his believers. Not that he -- or she, or whichever -- ever did anything to anyone except pose for really fuzzy pictures, leave mammoth footprints in remote areas and never get caught. But late last week, C. Thomas Biscardi, a Redwood City man who bills himself as a ```World Renowned Bigfoot Researcher,'' sued the Great American Bigfoot Research Organization, its president and vice president. The group was established last year ``to track, study and learn about the Bigfoot creatures that are believed to inhabit North America.'' Hmmmmmmmm...Who to believe...who to believe... Biscardi, who's been in the Bigfoot business for 33 years, says he was supposed to be paid $250,000 to ``lend his experience, knowledge and reputation,'' to conduct ``Bigfoot expeditions,'' and to provide the group with use of his library -- which consists of things such as plaster footprint casts, films, photos and sound recordings. There he is! Did you see him!! Oh, well, maybe next year. Will that be cash or charge? The group, the lawsuit claims, paid him only $65,000 and won't give back his stuff. Only 65 grand for all your Bigfoot research stuff? That's friggin highway robbery! Dennis Kazubowski, the San Jose lawyer representing Biscardi, said he'd been negotiating with the attorney for the defendants, North Bay residents Carole Rubin and Robert Shorey, for the return of Biscardi's library, but then ``the attorney quit because he wasn't getting paid.'' Maybe Bigfoot ate all the money? Neither defendant could be reached for comment. ``They return Tom's property and the lawsuit is dismissed in a minute,'' Kazubowski said. For the uninitiated, Bigfoot -- sometimes also known by the American Indian name Sasquatch -- supposedly roams the wilds, can be as large as 8 feet tall, 800 pounds . . . and is believed by most of the adult world to be a myth. Nonetheless, there is a core of true believers, including Mike Rugg, who runs a Bigfoot museum in the Santa Cruz Mountains. Is that listed in Roadside America? The big bipeds are a wily bunch. No human has ever been able to catch one. But somehow, the opposite sexes of the species seem to be able to find each other, fall in love and produce little Bigfeet. They must have, like, a seventh sense... Last year, Biscardi led an expedition to find Bigfoot at Happy Camp, in the Klamath River Valley, in far Northern California. He had a pay-per-view Webcast. The seemingly sure-fire plan was to nail the big fellow with a stun gun, keep him in a zoo for 90 days so a medical team could study him, then release him back into the wild. Pay-per-view? And I missed it? No luck. Damn! The Mercury News reached Biscardi by cell phone Monday. He was Bigfoot hunting just outside Paris, Texas. He didn't much want to talk about his lawsuit, which he considers his ``private business.'' Sorry, but I'm really busy here. Bigfoot huntin's an intense business... But he was in a high state of excitement. The crew had a Bigfoot sighting Sunday night. Biscardi said they had found a spot that looks like ``Jurassic Park,'' and saw -- guess who? -- yep, Bigfoot. Biscardi said he's had five ``close encounters'' with a Bigfoot in his career, but nothing like this. I saw Bigfoot! Again! In Jurrasic Park! In Texas! ``I gotta tell you something,'' he said, ``this is the largest thing I've ever seen in my life.'' Ya just missed it! If you wuz here five minutes earlier... Biscardi said television captured its image and he figures the find will hit the national news today or Thursday. Damn! Bigfoot must've got in there and erased the tape, because I never saw the story! |
| Posted by:tu3031 |
| #7 There's trouble in Bigfoot City. That's "B" which rhymes with "C" Which stands for "Conspiracy!" |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2006-07-22 20:12 |
| #6 Well, to be honest, it's more the excuse than the real reason. The main reason is that everyone's been kinda put off by Manbearpig's body odor the last couple years. |
| Posted by: Abdominal Snowman 2006-07-22 17:32 |
| #5 Klamath .... hmm... The Historic Requa Inn in Klamath was a Scottish Malt tasting in for a few years after the french style chef ladies sold it. Now its something different but if they had a few too many Scottish Malts before Bigfoot Tracking... anything would be possible... heh. |
| Posted by: 3dc 2006-07-22 15:16 |
| #4 We haven't been holding family reunions since guys like Biscardi started running around. Makes sense. But there must be a way... Haven't you ever thought about holding them in convention centers, and pretending you're a club of Demis Roussos impersonators? Just thinking out loud. |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-07-22 14:22 |
| #3 We haven't been holding family reunions since guys like Biscardi started running around. |
| Posted by: Abdominal Snowman 2006-07-22 14:15 |
| #2 hominids He he, you're the real deal. How do you deal with your cousin Bill-Bob the skunk ape at family reunions, by the way, if that's not too private to ask? I've always wondered about that. |
| Posted by: anonymous5089 2006-07-22 13:20 |
| #1 I thought there wasn't any controversy, and all the people in the Bigfoot world, both seekers and hominids, already thought Biscardi was a joke. |
| Posted by: Abdominal Snowman 2006-07-22 12:59 |
