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Israel-Palestine-Jordan

Hamas: We 'have defeated the Israeli army'

2006-07-09

Hamas's military wing, Izzadin al-Kassam announced in a press conference in Beit Lahiya Saturday evening that its fighters "have defeated the Israeli army."

IDF troops began pulling out of northern Gaza late Friday night and Saturday morning following military operations there. During the press conference, the masked Hamas operatives also presented army-issued identification cards belonging to IDF troops. The cards were apparently left behind accidentally by the soldiers due to the intense fighting there.

Posted by:Fred

#12 Sounds to me like the Lions of Islam^TM ran out of women to hide behind.

Posted by: anymouse 2006-07-09 23:24

#11 They defeated the Israeli Army ? How interesting... reality is, that, the palestinians are now calling for a cease fire.. The big bad cowards are running scared. I hope that the palestinians are enjoying the Israeli raids, its a little taste of their own medecine back..

Posted by: Oztralian 2006-07-09 19:37

#10 [King Arthur music]
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaaagh!
[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaagh!
GREEN KNIGHT:
Ooh!
[King Arthur music]
[music stops]
[stab]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aagh!
GREEN KNIGHT:
Oh!
[King Arthur music]
Ooh! Uuh.
[music stops]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaaagh!
[clang]
BLACK KNIGHT and GREEN KNIGHT:
Agh!, oh!, etc.
GREEN KNIGHT:
Aaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaah!
[woosh]
[BLACK KNIGHT kills GREEN KNIGHT]
[thud]
[scrape]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Umm!
[clop clop clop]
ARTHUR:
You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[pause]
I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[pause]
I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my court at Camelot.
[pause]
You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[pause]
You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
None shall pass.
ARTHUR:
I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Then you shall die.
ARTHUR:
I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
BLACK KNIGHT:
I move for no man.
ARTHUR:
So be it!
ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR:
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT:
'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR:
A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT:
No, it isn't.
ARTHUR:
Well, what's that, then?
BLACK KNIGHT:
I've had worse.
ARTHUR:
You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT:
Come on, you pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR:
Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
BLACK KNIGHT:
Hah!
[kick]
Come on, then.
ARTHUR:
What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
Have at you!
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR:
Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Yes, I have.
ARTHUR:
Look!
BLACK KNIGHT:
Just a flesh wound.
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!
ARTHUR:
Look, I'll have your leg.
[kick]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Right. I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR:
You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT:
Come here!
ARTHUR:
What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT:
I'm invincible!
ARTHUR:
You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT:
The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR:
Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

Posted by: Bright Pebbles 2006-07-09 17:37

#9 Israel just rocket attacked Gaza an hour ago. looks like they were just getting out of the way of the rockets. Soon they will return to sweep out the rats.

Posted by: 49 Pan 2006-07-09 15:15

#8 Darrell, hush man.

Posted by: 6 2006-07-09 15:11

#7 "the masked Hamas operatives also presented army-issued identification cards belonging to IDF troops"
Trying to make use of those cards would be almost as stupid as making calls on left-behind cell phones. I'm guessing they're deliberate plants.

Posted by: Darrell 2006-07-09 14:42

#6 They read Baghdad Bob's book the night before....

"Tanks? Troops? This is an infidel lie. There are no....oh shit...nevermind."

Posted by: mcsegeek1 2006-07-09 11:39

#5 Hey, Lions of Islam^TM!! If you have defeated the IDF...then you should be able to just roll on to Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. Show the world Lions of Islam^TM.

Posted by: anymouse 2006-07-09 10:46

#4 Quick! Someone tell the brave Lions of Islam who were leading the attack from the rear that they can come out of their hidey-holes now.

Posted by: Duek of Plaza-Toro 2006-07-09 09:12

#3 IDF troops began pulling out of northern Gaza late Friday night and Saturday morning following military operations there.

The reason is that there is pretty much bugger-all in Gaza left worth attacking. The reality on the Paleo side is 'one more victory like that one and we are undone.'

Posted by: WTF 2006-07-09 09:07

#2 If Olmert and Peretz had a firing synapse between them, these punks would be begging for the IDF to lay off, not crowing about a "victory". Maybe if they lob a few more missiles into empty buildings to prove they're, you know, serious and shit, Hamas will release Gilad Shalit. But I doubt it.

Posted by: Kirk 2006-07-09 04:53

#1 This must be a new definition of 'defeat' that I'm not aware of.

"Look, they left cards!"
"Zionist cards!"
"Yes, yes Zionist cards!"
"Truly a magnifient victory!"
"...and a defeat for the Zionists!"
"Oh course a defeat for the Zionists!"

blah blah blah...

Posted by: Tony (UK) 2006-07-09 04:09

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