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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Bruno the Bear meets a grizzly end
2006-06-26
"Er ist, Jim tot"
A marauding brown bear that has eluded authorities in southern Germany and Austria for weeks has been shot dead. The bear - which hails from Italy and has been nicknamed Bruno by German media - wandered into Bavaria last month, becoming the first wild bear seen in the Germany since 1835.
"We don't get many brown bears around these here parts!"
"Grrr! With this kinda reception committee y'won't get many more, either!"
Further details of the shooting have not been released.
"We're all broken up. We don't wanna talk about it!"
The 100 kg (220lb) bear earned the ire of local farmers for killing sheep and rabbits and looting beehives of honey. Officials said Bruno has become a hazard after he was spotted near homes and appeared to have lost his fear of people.
"Beat it, bear!"
"Piss off! You ain't got no claws!"
On Saturday Austrian authorities gave hunters permission to kill Bruno if they encountered him.
"I ain't got no claws, but I do have one o' these!"
"Ehhhrrrm... What's that?"
Bavarian officials said they would consider a similar move as early as Tuesday.
"Hokay. What's on the agenda, Captain von Trapp?"
"Shooting bears."
"In Austria. In 2006. You're kidding, right?... And stop humming 'Eidelweiss'!"
Authorities originally proposed allowing hunters to shoot Bruno, but backed away from the idea after public protest. They then attempted to capture him alive and put him in a nature reserve but he continued to elude trackers.
"You'll never take me alive, trappers!"
In the most recent attempt to catch Bruno, a team of Finnish tracking dogs failed to corner him so he could be shot with a tranquillizer.
"Beat it, dogs!"
"Yow! Those're some claws! Retreat!"
Posted by:DanNY

#6  The freaking deer out here in Oregon weigh more than 220 pounds! What wasting disease did this bear have? Or was it injuried badly, and that was why it was raiding farms? That is generally the first step into becoming a maneater for a large carnivore.
Posted by: Shieldwolf   2006-06-26 22:16  

#5  Abel Weiss shrewd but nice
You make money for me!

yeah get ready...... here it comes!



The Hillz are alive with sound of Money!
Posted by: 6   2006-06-26 19:07  

#4  That's not a bear, that's an overweight poodle.

220 lbs? Marmot on steroids

Hardie! Har! Har!

/mojo LOL!
Posted by: RD   2006-06-26 13:59  

#3  Ha! Ha! Ha! Dan

Sie sent Ded!
Posted by: 6   2006-06-26 13:04  

#2  Or Mchael Moore after a hunger strike.
Posted by: JFM   2006-06-26 10:21  

#1  220 lbs?

That's not a bear, that's an overweight poodle.
Posted by: mojo   2006-06-26 10:14  

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