| Are they sure Narcissus was a guy? |
 Throughout history, erotic dancers have exuded a mystique, as if their tease held the secret to good sex. That secret may be out.
| Oooh, beppy! Show me yer mystique! |
At studios from Los Angeles to Miami, the strip tease is being taught in exercise classes to everyday housewives, mothers and grandmothers.
| Oh, Granny! Shake them thangs! |
Hundreds of women are signing up for the so-called ''fertility goddess'' classes, with one North Miami Beach studio saying it teaches between 300 and 400 women a week.
| Feminists encounter pole dancing. Feminists win. Ick. |
The women's aim: to get in shape, arouse the desire from within and wow their loved ones with their newfound erotic aura. ''Let me just say this, if you're in a relationship and you don't want to have children, [then] get on birth control, because you're going to become very confident,'' says Susan Hilferty, 38, owner of the recently opened Pole Fitness studio in Coconut Grove. ``I'm just bringing the animal out of you.''
| Ummm... Cows are animals. So're pigs. I saw a few of them in titty bars in the storied daze of my youth. Along with a few gazelles and such... |
The tigresses have long been pussycats, thanks to the demands of work, stress and parenthood. ''The first thing that goes when you become a mother is your sense of self,'' says Susie Taylor, 32, a pole dance instructor at Soultree Motion in North Miami Beach. ``Something we love to say is that you have to nurture yourself so you can nurture others. As women, we sacrifice ourselves and we're taught that it's acceptable.''
| Okay, Susie, enough analysis, now dance, wouldya? |
| Yeah! Climb that pole, beppy! |
The concept -- self-discovery through a dance synonymous with strippers and sweaty, crumpled fifty dollar bills -- is a turnoff to some skeptics. ''I've seen the ads for it,'' says Sandra Rodriguez, 33. ``These women are acting like strippers. How is that going to make them feel better about themselves?''
But supporters of the sexy classes say the students are getting emotional rewards, as well as physical ones. ''It's a sexy, sensual playground for women only, where you can stop apologizing,'' says Kari McDermott, who founded Soultree Motion.
| You needn't ever apologize to me, Kari. Now dance. |
Like many of the studios across the country, McDermott's in North Miami Beach and Los Angeles have one strict rule: women only. The secrets of the pole-sliding sisterhood are protected by covered windows and locked doors to ensure the women's privacy and safety. ''If you're in a room with men, there's no way that you can deal with your sexuality,'' Taylor says. ``This is one time in your life that it's not about a guy judging you.''
| If you're not dealing with your sexuality with at least one men present, why do you have it? Or shouldn't we ask? |
| Do ... not ... go ... there ... |
Besides, where else can a group of ladies comfortably stretch out their legs and shout, ``Hello, crotch?''
| I honestly don't know the answer to that. |
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