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-Short Attention Span Theater-
How Aussies Plan to Kill the Party
2006-06-06
This picture is dedicated to Em, Barbara and Trailing Wife.
In Britain, the Asbo is wielded to curtail the antics of hooligans. In Australia they have a different, though not necessarily more humane, means of control: the music of Barry Manilow.
"At the Copa! Copa Cabana!"
For the next six months the ears of the youth of Rockdale, a suburb south of Sydney, will be subjected to the sounds of the singer's back catalogue after the local council resolved to get tough on antisocial behaviour. Councillors hope piping Manilow hits such as Mandy and Copacabana through a loudspeaker into a car park troublespot will kill the atmosphere and force the youths to move on.
I confess, that would do it for me.
In keeping with a great Australian suburban tradition, every Saturday night up to 100 car-fancying youths, or "hoons", take their souped-up vehicles to the parking lot at Cook Park Reserve at Brighton-le-Sands. There, they rev their engines, compare fittings, and play their own "doof doof" music, very loudly. According to Bill Saravinovski, a councillor, their behaviour is antisocial and disturbs the peace. "There are restaurants nearby and people can't park in the car park because they're intimidated by these hoons," he told Australia's Daily Telegraph. "So we're giving the music a go to see if it has any success."
"Her name was Lola. She was a show girl..."
The idea has been tested elsewhere in Australia. Bing Crosby was used to drive teenage loiterers out of an Australian shopping centre several years ago. "Based on reports ... daggy [uncool] music is one way to make the hoons leave an area because they can't stand the music," Mr Saravinovski said. "We're hoping it works. These people don't show any respect for the law.
If that doesn't work, try
Someone left the cake out in the rain
And I'll never have that recipe again,
Oh, woe!
Hey! I loved Donna Summer!
Use the Richard Harris version, blood will spurt from their ears.
Posted by:Steve White

#20  Don't forget Leonard Nimoy.
Posted by: Glomp Angiger6514   2006-06-06 21:02  

#19  

Why do you think Capt. Kirk's face is in his hands. He knew his CD - either this or frisbee golf...
Posted by: BigEd   2006-06-06 19:41  

#18  Thisn a Disco thread isn't it!
Posted by: 6   2006-06-06 18:28  

#17  Barbara, if you're really interested in trying to track down that album, allmusic.com is an excellent resource. If you can remember other songs on the album, you could figure it out in no time.

I would like to nominate the following party-killing songs: "Three Times a Lady", "Safety Dance", "Billy Don't Be a Hero", "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", maybe also the Meow Mix advertising jingle and the Final Jeopardy song.
Posted by: ryuge   2006-06-06 17:48  

#16  Awwww, don't pick on Barry. I like his music.

This picture is dedicated to Em, Barbara and Trailing Wife.
Thanks! :-D (Though he needs to button his shirt in the photo.)

Many years ago, in larger cities, you used to be able to go into a public recording studio and make a record - sort of a souvenir, nothing professional or anything. (I remember seeing one in Norfolk, D.C., and of course NYC.) Barry's father or grandfather (I forget which) took him into one when he was about 10 to make a record, which they kept, though you don't hear him singing - you hear the grandfather saying "come on, Barry, sing. Sing, Barry, sing" etc.

His producers used it to open one of his albums - first you hear the old record with the grandfather's voice, then it seamlessly blends into Barry singing. It was really cool.

I used to have that album (back when "albums" were actual records) - don't remember the name of it, but I'd get it in CD if I knew it.

Another of his songs started and ended with a famous piece of classical music. Another had a medley of the commercials he'd written - Pepsi, McDonalds, etc. As TW says, he was well-trained.

Dis him if you will, but he had (still has?) a beautiful voice, and his songs had an actual melody. Unlike many others of that - and this - era.
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2006-06-06 16:14  

#15  They play classical music in Southern California areas to keep gang bangers from hanging out in parking lots after movies. This is something theaters came up with though, not a city/county/state thing.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2006-06-06 14:09  

#14  Aw hell, if you're gonna break out the Shatner, why not be completely ruthless to these punks and play William Hung?

......she bangs......she bangs......
Posted by: mcsegeek1   2006-06-06 14:00  

#13  I'm pretty sure Shatner is covered in the Geneva Conventions or something.
Posted by: lotp   2006-06-06 13:47  

#12  Hasselhoff!

If not Hasselhoff, then Shatner!
Posted by: SLO Jim   2006-06-06 13:04  

#11  Damn you Steve White! Now I have that crappy MacArthur Park rattling around my head which is possibly the worse tune ever. Now I need brain bleach.
Posted by: JerseyMike   2006-06-06 12:59  

#10  Comming soon to the "Over the Rhine" area in Cincinnati:
It's Liberace!!!!!!!
Posted by: bigjim-ky   2006-06-06 12:21  

#9  The Grateful Dead beat them to this tactic long ago. In 1969 when crowds would hang around even after the 4am encore, they'd clear them out by playing Dylan singing "Lay Lady Lay." Not as cruel and unusual as the Manilow ultimate weapon, but those were simpler times and the WMDs weren't as lethal yet.
Posted by: Odysseus   2006-06-06 11:04  

#8  The answer is One man, One word - it's also well proven as a soultion to agression:

Hasselhoff!

Hey, it worked on the Germans.
Posted by: Oldspook   2006-06-06 10:59  

#7  Looks like the Aussies have discovered the 'brown noise'.
Posted by: mcsegeek1   2006-06-06 10:23  

#6  I don't know if it will curb anti-social behaivor but the suicide rate should go up.
Posted by: Cheaderhead   2006-06-06 09:36  

#5  And what, pray tell, can Manilow' songs do for the community that police officers/constables enforcing "disturbing the peace" or "loitering
/vagrancy" statutes, etal. can't do!?
Posted by: JosephMendiola   2006-06-06 02:24  

#4  "You voted for John Howard, mate? That's clearly antisocial. Off to the Manilow Tank for you to do your penance: a minimum of 32 "Hail Mandys" and 15 "Can't Smile Without Yous"
Posted by: Seafarious   2006-06-06 01:03  

#3  I thought they would go for local dreckmeisters Air Supply before they went for Barely Man-Enough.
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2006-06-06 01:02  

#2  You are too kind. Thank you ever so much for your thoughtfulness. Only next time, could he have more clothes on? With regard to Mr. Manilow's music, though, the classical training he got in his youth, the discipline he learnt writing commercial jingles, and the years he spent writing for and accompanying "The Divine Miss M" singing to the denizens of New York City's gay bathhouses most assuredly shows in his own music. ;-)
Posted by: trailing wife   2006-06-06 00:52  

#1  
Silvias' Mother says... would work as well.

-M
Posted by: Manolo   2006-06-06 00:23  

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