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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Man Who Put Dead Mouse in Burrito at Taco Bell Given Prison Time
2006-06-03
TRAVERSE CITY, Mich. — A man who stuffed a dead mouse into his Taco Bell burrito in a botched extortion attempt was sentenced Friday to 16 to 30 months in prison.
Hope he doesn't find anything unpleasant in his prison food.
Ryan Daniel Goff, 20, pleaded guilty last month to a felony count of attempted false pretenses between $1,000 and $20,000. Sheriff's investigators said Goff complained to a restaurant employee in January that his burrito tasted "funny."
"Yeah! It tastes like mouse!"
"Really? And what does mouse taste like?"
"Ummm... Kinda like chicken..."
"It was probably the chicken, then."
Goff reported finding the mouse to the local health department and Taco Bell's regional manager. According to court records, he allegedly told the manager: "It won't be a good day if the media finds out about this."
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. The man obviously has a gift for the language.
But investigators said his girlfriend told them he purchased frozen mice from a pet store and put one of them in his burrito.
Posted by:Fred

#6   Quite possibly this @sshole did, in fact, murder someone.

Not in this case. The police were on it before it appeared in the local paper since Mr. Criminal Genius had called up the restaurant manager trying a little extortion. Mouse Boy left a bit of a trail: Pet Smart where he bought frozen mice, the county health department where he asked about food contamination, the extorting phone call and finally his girlfriend who ratted (heh) him out when the cops came calling. A sorry example, indeed, for aspiring criminal masterminds.
Posted by: SteveS   2006-06-03 17:59  

#5  Ever since the Wendy's "chili finger" incident, these sort of extorsion attempts increasingly need to be met with felony charges and mandatory hard time. Anna Ayala had the nerve to say, "It's not like I murdered someone."

Well, guess again. With a quarterly downturn of over $1,500,000 it is most likely that more than a few people were laid off. People who lose their jobs can end up on the street and freeze to death come winter. Quite possibly this @sshole did, in fact, murder someone.

Mr. Mouse-in-the-Burrito needs a long prison term.
Posted by: Zenster   2006-06-03 13:56  

#4  "a felony count of attempted false pretenses"
Wow, can we make that a felony in Washington, DC?
Posted by: Darrell   2006-06-03 12:43  

#3  The good news (for the perp) is he won't be in Traverse City.
Posted by: 6   2006-06-03 07:24  

#2  Depending on how frail and cute he is, he might be having something stuffed up his "burrito" in prison.
Posted by: Shieldwolf   2006-06-03 01:42  

#1  Didn't really work for Bob & Doug in STRANGE BREW either, eh.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2006-06-03 00:20  

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