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-Short Attention Span Theater-
First-time parachutist jumps to death after cutting own cords
2006-05-02
LONDON - A man on his first parachute jump cut the lines of his chute after jumping from an aircraft in eastern England and plunged 3,500 feet (1,000 metres) to his death, a newspaper and police said on Monday. Police said an investigation had been launched into the death of David Crowcroft, 27, but they were not treating the incident as suspicious.
Peculiar, yes, sad, yes, suspicious, no.
The man was said to be behaving normally before exiting the light aircraft, which had taken off from Old Buckenham Airfield, in Norfolk, The Times reported. Once his parachute opened automatically, however, Crowcroft took off his helmet, which had a built-in radio to speak to his instructor on the ground, and threw it away, it said.
"Trevor, did he say what he was going to do with those scissors in his belt?"
"Come to think of it, Ned, I don't believe he did."
"Well it certainly isn't like we can ask him now, is it?"
The Londoner then used a pair of gardening secateurs or scissors to cut the cords on his parachute and plunged to earth. He died from multiple injuries on landing near the airfield.
"Trevor, be a good fellow and hand me that spatula, Dr. Quincy is going to want this."
"Blimy! What is it?"
"I really don't know, Trevor, but come on with that lifter."
Jason Thompson, chief parachute instructor, told The Times: ”There was nothing to indicate he had any problems at all. I didn’t have any part in his training, but apparently he was just a normal sort of student.

“If we had been unhappy with his mental state we would not have allowed him to go up.
"Unfortunately we didn't see the size 7 gardening scissors in his belt."
“People on the ground were aware of the situation as he was doing it, but there was nothing they could do.”
"Trevor, don't you think we should catch him?"
"I say Ned, that would be a particularly foolish thing to do."
"Yes, quite. Pardon me while I step this way."
Crowcroft had paid 175 pounds to take a beginnerÂ’s course at the UK Parachute Services training centre at the airfield.
And got every penny's worth, I'd wager.
Posted by:Steve White

#12  Well, so much for the "accidental death, go out like a hero" plan.

If you want it to look like an accident, then tossing the helmet and hauling out the hedge pinkers isn't going to fool anyone. But the suicidal are rarely in a frame of mind to plan carefully, after all. It's all in the details and you've got to sane for that kind of planing.
Posted by: Thinemp Whimble2412   2006-05-02 20:02  

#11  Priceless, CF, priceless.
Posted by: wxjames   2006-05-02 14:51  

#10  Gravity is a myth.....

... the earth sucks!
Posted by: CrazyFool   2006-05-02 14:43  

#9  I dount he was worried about the cost of his suicide
Posted by: Greamp Elmavinter1163   2006-05-02 14:14  

#8   GEROMIN-OH-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Cheaderhead   2006-05-02 11:24  

#7  There was nothing to indicate he had any problems at all.

The jumpmaster check does not include brain housing group internals, just the helmet and chinstrap.
Posted by: Besoeker   2006-05-02 10:40  

#6  Because it is an harsh mistresse?
Posted by: Chumble Angaving2300   2006-05-02 10:00  

#5  Gravity, why does it hate us?
Posted by: Steve   2006-05-02 08:28  

#4  Cheaper, perhaps, but few so reliable.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2006-05-02 07:05  

#3  My Momma told me never to jump out of a perfectly good Aircraft.
Posted by: SPoD   2006-05-02 02:39  

#2  There ARE cheaper ways to kill yourself, ya know.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2006-05-02 01:44  

#1  You'd think the comment that he didn't have to learn how to land might have been a clue....
Posted by: CrazyFool   2006-05-02 00:43  

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