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| Iraq |
| Marines To Congress "Bite This" |
| 2006-02-11 |
| Fluffy is a blonde 6lb. female Maltese currently assigned to the 7th Marine Division K9 unit serving in the Iraq Anbar province. Recently she assisted the Marines in the capture of 21 insurgents. Fluffy's handler, CPL Brian Sunland said, "Congress thought they were going to screw us again with their 'kinder/gentler' war bullshit when they sent us Fluffy. "They forget that Marines have a history of making men out of boys and we used that same training regimen on Fluffy", said Sgt. Sunland. Evidently it works. Marine combat reports show that Fluffy has assisted in the elimination or capture of 65 insurgents since she completed her training in October 2005. "She's a fighter", said a rugged looking Marine. "She may not be the biggest dog in this fight but this little bitch can take care of herself. If she gets a hold on you, then brother your going down", said another Marine. To save money spent on dog food, frustrated anti-war members of Congress are threatening to send the Marines Chihuahuas to replace their existing large breed K9 corps. The unit's Gunnery Sergeant proudly told me, "I'd rather have just one them 'Yo quiero, taco bell' dogs then 50 of them 'pendejo' congressmen. At least dogs are loyal." "They can send us a gerbil and we'll train it to do night recon. Send us a goldfish and we'll train it to think it's a piranha", said another Marine The Marines don't care what kind of K9 they get next as long as it's a male. Said one Marine, "Nothing against female dogs, it's just that Fluffy's a lady when she's not on duty and it's hard for her to lift her hind leg to piss on the media or a visiting member from Congress." |
| Posted by:Sherry |
| #11 Damn, we need Fluffy Destroyer of Worlds. |
| Posted by: 6 2006-02-11 23:26 |
| #10 Fluffy, however is a great name for Congressman Murtha. |
| Posted by: wxjames 2006-02-11 23:20 |
| #9 LOL - you are too smart Barb, - but Boxer just might try this crap :-) |
| Posted by: Frank G 2006-02-11 22:51 |
| #8 Click on the link, TW - it's obvious then. :-D Though I have to admit I was suspicious when the story started talking about congresscritters deciding what size dogs get sent to the Gyrenes. It's more likely the anti- |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2006-02-11 22:33 |
| #7 That's some training regimin theose Marines have -- gerbals are diurnal. And darn it, Barbara, I believed every word, until you said otherwise! |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2006-02-11 20:36 |
| #6 Send us a goldfish and we'll train it to think it's a piranha We used to have a carnivious goldfish when I was a kid - got pretty good at hunting snails too... |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2006-02-11 18:54 |
| #5 Too bad this is a spoof. Problem is, almost all of it is believable. |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2006-02-11 18:07 |
| #4 "... than 50 of them 'pendejo' congressmen. At least dogs are loyal." That's gotta sting! Eh, Congressman Murtha? |
| Posted by: SteveS 2006-02-11 17:52 |
| #3 Reports indicate the hound's favorite treat is pan fried muzzie nuts. They simply can't get enough! |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2006-02-11 17:39 |
| #2 They can send us a gerbil and we'll train it to do night recon on Richard Gere's ass. Well, someone had to say it! |
| Posted by: Raj 2006-02-11 17:28 |
| #1 hahahahahahaha omg can't breath roflllll |
| Posted by: djohn66 2006-02-11 17:12 |