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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Female kidney turns lumberjack on to housework |
| 2006-01-22 |
| A Croatia lumberjack claims he started 'enjoying housework and knitting' after he was given a female kidney. Stjepan Lizacic, 56, from Osijek, is suing his local health authority because he says he's become a laughing stock. He says his life changed from enjoying heavy drinking sessions with pals to prefering housework after the operation. He told local newspaper 24sata: "The kidney transplant saved my life, but they never warned me about the side effects. "I have developed a strange passion for female jobs like ironing, sewing, washing dishes, sorting clothes in wardrobes and even knitting." He pointed out that before the kidney transplant he would not have been seen dead doing the housework, and expected his wife to do it all, but now found it both relaxing and fulfilling. He said: "My wife is the only one that is pleased. I do most of the housework now, and I blame the hospital that transplanted me the kidney of a 50-year-old woman instead of a man's kidney." His wife Radmila added: "If the new femine side to him is confined to housework I am very happy, I only hope he doesn't start looking at other men." I never wanted to do this in the first place! I... I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK! (piano vamp) Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! With my best girl by my side! The Larch! The Pine! The Giant Redwood tree! The Sequoia! The Little Whopping Rule Tree! We'd sing! Sing! Sing! Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day. CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay, He sleeps all night and he works all day. I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shoppin' And have buttered scones for tea. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, He goes to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he goes shoppin' And has buttered scones for tea. CHORUS I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing, And hang around in bars. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, He likes to press wild flowers. He puts on women's clothing And hangs around.... In bars??????? CHORUS I chop down trees, I wear high heels, Suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie Just like my dear papa. Mounties: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels Suspenders and a .... a Bra???? (mounties break off song, and begin insulting lumberjack) Girl: (crying) I thought you were so rugged! |
| Posted by:anonymous5089 |
| #1 Or maybe it's just that "giddy, in love with all of the details of life I missed before I got off that damn dialysis machine and got a new lease on life" feeling. No? Then yer right, ya got cooootiieees! |
| Posted by: Hupomoger Clans9827 2006-01-22 13:57 |