Hamas is paying a spin doctor $180,000 (£100,000) to persuade Europeans and Americans that it is not a group of religious fanatics who relish suicide bombings and hate Jews.| "We're not a bloodthirsty genocidal power-mad faction of extremely close relatives (if you know what we mean); we only play one on teevee." |
The organisation, also known as the Islamic Resistance Movement, has hired a media consultant, Nashat Aqtash, to improve its image at home and abroad because it expects to emerge from next week's Palestinian general election as a major political force, and wants money recognition and money acceptance by the US and EU.| Also a blind eye for the dead rat on the living room rug. The one that's bloating, with maggots. |
"Hamas has an image problem. The Israelis were able to create a very bad image of the Palestinians in general and particularly Muslims and Hamas. My contract is to project the right image," said Mr Aqtash, who also teaches media at Birzeit University in Ramallah. "We don't need the international community to accept Hamas ideology, we need it to accept the facts on the ground. We are not killing people because we love to kill. People view Hamas as loving sending people to die. We don't love death, we like life."| The facts on the ground being the subjugated, seething population of Gaza, and bits of dead Jooos decorating the buses in Tel Aviv. |
Mr Aqtash, who describes himself as opposed to violence and "believing in the Gandhi route", has advised Hamas leaders to change their image by explaining that they do not hate Israelis because they are Jews. And he is attempting to persuade influential foreigners that Hamas is essentially a peaceful organisation that was forced to fight, but is now committed to pressing its cause through politics, not violence.
"Hamas does not believe in terrorism or killing civilians." | Be careful what you say, Nashat. The Prophet (PBUH) never cowered behind the skirts of a woman like you. He bravely took the fight to his enemies and prevailed every time. Even if his enemy looked a lot like a girl out for a walk with her fiancee. The djinns were all about her, and Mohammed took them all on! It was too bad about the girl, really, but there are always losses in Dar-al-Harb. And Allan acquired one more brave warrior that day. |
"But Ariel Sharon pressed buttons to make people angry. Sometimes we are innocent enough to react in a way that the Israelis use the reaction against us," he said.| "Pure as the driven snow, that's Hamas!" |
Next week Mr Aqtash says he will address the former US president Jimmy Carter and former Swedish prime minister Carl Bildt, and other prominent foreigners monitoring the election.| "You've been a lovely audience, I'll be here all week." |
But he admits he and his small team working from an office in Ramallah have their work cut out. Hamas is responsible for scores of suicide bombings, killing and maiming hundreds of civilians (many of them children), although not for yesterday's attack in Tel Aviv.| Polish that halo a liitle more, Nashat. |
Hamas's founding charter calls for the destruction of Israel and it wants to impose an Islamic state on all Palestinian territory.
Mr Aqtash, who says he is not a member of Hamas and does not know where it got the money to pay him but frequently refers to the group as "we", says he has told the leadership it has to change its rhetoric. He says Hamas has not helped itself by celebrating suicide bombings; he advises against celebration. And he has told Hamas leaders not to talk about destroying Israel.| "The f'ing infidels are listening, Mahmoud. Keep a lid on it." |
"Abdel Aziz Rantisi [the former Hamas leader killed by Israel two years ago] was on television saying things that foreigners cannot accept, like we will remove Israel from the map. He should have talked about Palestinian suffering. He should have said we need this occupation ended. Foreigners will accept this," he said. Mr Aqtash has also advised Hamas leaders to emphasise that they are not anti-semitic or against Israelis because they are Jews. Hamas has taken the message on board. In an interview earlier this week, Muhammad Abu Tir, who is second on the Hamas election list, twice (and unprompted) offered an assurance that he is not a Jew hater. "Loving others is part of our religion. We are not against Jews as Jews, we are against oppression," he said.
Mr Aqtash also told Mr Abu Tir to rid himself of a red beard, coloured by henna, because it makes people laugh.| Drat. He caught that. Nothing sez comedy like the hennaed beards of the Learned Elders of Islam™. |
The PR man wriggles away from questions about whether Hamas has more than an image problem when it sends bombers on buses and into cafes. "I'm personally against killing. All civilians should not be killed. Killing Israeli civilians is not accepted by the international community. They think it is a terrorist act," he said.| "Stupid international community. What do they know?" |
"But Sharon was responsible for killing civilians too. During this intifada Hamas killed a thousand Israelis, some of them civilians, some of them soldiers. But the Israelis killed 4,000 Palestinians. It's a war. The Israelis use F16s; Hamas uses people. Anyway, Hamas hasn't sent a suicide bomber in a year."
Hamas is also attempting to soften its image at home with the launch of a television station in Gaza that includes a children's show presented by "Uncle Hazim" and men in furry animal suits. The station, named Al Aqsa Television after Islam's third holiest site, says it intends to put across the group's message "but without getting into the tanks, the guns, the killing and the blood". It will instead focus on religious readings, discussion programmes and a talent show.
Mr Aqtash, however, is not entirely confident in his powers of persuasion. "How did I do?" he asked as the interview ended. "Did I make you think differently about Hamas?"
The advice Nashat Aqtash gave to Hamas:
· Say you are not against Israelis as Jews
· Don't talk about destroying Israel
· Do talk about Palestinian suffering
· Don't celebrate killing people
· Change beard colour (if red) |