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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Ted Kennedy’s secret love child a secret no more
2006-01-18
Boston Herald gossip column, reporting on a story in the National Enquirer. EFL. Salt recommended. On the other hand, the Enquirer has a better fact-checking unit than CBS News. On the other other hand, my son's goldfish are better at fact-checking than CBS. . . . Okay, I'll shut up now.
The National Enquirer splashes this week with a shocking story about Sen. Ted Kennedy’s secret love child with a Cape Cod woman whom the mag says he dated during his days as a swinging single. According to the tabloid’s source, the boy, named Christopher, just celebrated his 21st birthday and is “mature enough to make his own choices about his background and biological father.”
"He's my dad? Him? Ted Kennedy! Eeeewww, ick, I'm registering Republican and joining a health club!"
"Mom! How could you!"
"Well, it was dark, and the moon was bright ..."
"... and I wasn't..."
. . . As for the senator, his spokesgal Melissa Wagoner last night called the tabloid tale “irresponsible fiction.”
"It's no more true than that scurrilous tale about the bridge and the car that the right-wing conspiracy keeps peddling. Oh, Ted, not again! I feel so dirty when I have to do this denial crap."
Here’s the story according to the Enquirer: Back in 1983, Kennedy, then 51, started humping took up with Caroline Bilodeau, an attractive brunette, several months before divorcing Joan, the mother of his three kids — Kara, Ted Jr. and Patrick. Bilodeau’s friends told the Enquirer the local lass became so smitten with the senator, she “had dreams about being the next Mrs. Ted Kennedy.”
Isn't that what Mary Jo wondered?
Asked to comment on the affair, portly pepperpot Monica Lewisky was quoted as saying, "Dated a pig politician, did ya? Been there, done that. It is, like, so embarassing! I feel for ya, girlfriend!"
But the love affair came crashing down when Bilodeau told Ted a baby was on the way, the mag reports. “Caroline announced to the family that she was two months pregnant around May 1984,” blabbed a Bilodeau confidante. “Ted was not happy about the news. He already had three kids with Joan and knew a baby out of wedlock could hurt him politically.” According to the Enquirer, the scandal-scarred senator begged Bilodeau to have an abortion, but she refused.
Now we know why he's so attached to Roe v. Wade.
“He told her he couldn’t undergo another scandal — not after Chappaquiddick, not so close to his divorce from Joan” said the source. “He was very angry when she defied him and had the child.”
It would have driven him to drink, but he was already there...
During her pregnancy, Caroline’s friends noticed the unemployed young woman who lived with her parents bought a black Mustang convertible, an expensive Shar-pei puppy and moved into her own apartment. “Later we learned she received about $15,000 from someone in the Kennedy camp,” said the friend.
Shucks. That's never happened before, has it?
When Christopher was born in a Cape Cod hospital in December 1984, Kennedy was nowhere near the delivery room.
Surprise meter reads "off-scale low."
But he did, according to the Enquirer, take a paternity test shortly thereafter to determine if the child was his.
Thereby demonstrating what Ted thinks of the women he sleeps with.
After Bilodeau got the results, she moved back in with her parents but “always seemed to have money,” said the source. Kennedy’s former flame did eventually find love with a man she met in a pizzeria. They married and he legally adopted Christopher and raised him as his own son, sources said. “She has always been very protective of Christopher and wanted him to have a normal life, not the life a Kennedy lives,” said the friend.
Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.
Posted by:Mike

#24  I sure hope the kid takes after his mom in the looks department.
Posted by: Desert Blondie   2006-01-18 23:07  

#23  Jeez, youse guys are vicious. This is definitely a take-no-prisoners thread.

I love it! Keep up the good work. :-D
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2006-01-18 22:42  

#22  According to the tabloid’s source, the boy, named Christopher, just celebrated his 21st birthday and is “mature enough to make his own choices about his background and biological father.”

Unfortunately for this kid, he has no choice about his biological father.
Posted by: Tibor   2006-01-18 19:52  

#21  That picture . . . . AAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGH, my eyes............!
Posted by: no mo uro   2006-01-18 19:41  

#20  mhw: Part of me wants to agree with you on principle, but this is the same Ted Kennedy who subpoenaed Robert Bork's video rentals at Blockbuster, and who publicized the sexual history of the woman his nephew raped. Sauce for the goose, as they say . . . .
Posted by: Mike   2006-01-18 18:37  

#19  Danielle, it's the Patrick Kennedy who's a Congresscritter from Rhode Island (BTW - he moved to RI so he wouldn't go against his cousin Joe in Mass). Local radio jocks parody him as "The Beav" in a running gag - funny as hell, but too kind to him by half.
Posted by: Xbalanke   2006-01-18 17:05  

#18  "several months before divorcing Joan, the mother of his three kids — Kara, Ted Jr. and Patrick."

Is this the same Patrick Kennedy currently serving as Negroponte's right-hand man at National Intelligence?
Posted by: Danielle   2006-01-18 16:34  

#17  mhw, when one demands the perks of Royalty, one gets the annoyances of Royalty as well. If the honourable Senator and a goodly portion of his clan didn't throw their considerable weight around so, and with hypocrisy aforethought, nobody would care how often his belt failed to hold up his trousers in his private life.
Posted by: trailing wife   2006-01-18 15:41  

#16  St. Johns' Knitwear, tu? I really should pay more attention to such things, but there's this War on Terror thingy, and the trailing daughters to rear, and I just get so distracted from what's important...
Posted by: trailing wife   2006-01-18 15:36  

#15  I'm going to have to take issue with the main rantburgian stream here.

Even a jerk like Sen Kennedy is entitled to a zone of private life and I don't think the Boston Herald should be reporting on what the Natl Enquirer says in such an extensive way (it would be different to have a 1 sentence blurb that the Natl Enq says 'Ted K may have fathered a child out-of-wedlock in the 80s').

What is really bad is that if Caroline B and Christopher really want a normal life, the Boston Herald is messing it up.
Posted by: mhw   2006-01-18 15:15  

#14  He's already married again, TW...and she looks marvelous!
Posted by: tu3031   2006-01-18 15:05  

#13  Of course the Ted wouldn't marry her -- he's a Kennedy, she's just a local girl, the kind that make good servants. Should he marry again, it'll be to an appropriate female of his class who'll fit in at D.C. parties. Someone whose wardrobe Robin G., Washington Post fashion/politics commentator would approve of.
Posted by: trailing wife   2006-01-18 14:59  

#12  They only found one?
Keep digging boys and girls...
Posted by: tu3031   2006-01-18 14:55  

#11  I doubt the kid was a "love child". A "lust child" maybe, but the only one Ted loves is himself.
Posted by: Spot   2006-01-18 13:29  

#10  Wow, you guys are vicious ... keep it up!
Posted by: Xbalanke   2006-01-18 12:19  

#9  It's all just water under the bridge, man.
Posted by: BH   2006-01-18 10:10  

#8  And you didn't know those swiming classes were going to be so useful back when you were a wee kid, now did you Caroline.
Posted by: Spinens Elmineter8832   2006-01-18 09:53  

#7  Nice GooogleAd for DemocraticMatch.com over on the sidebar, heh. I suggest we all go pay them a visit.
Posted by: Seafarious   2006-01-18 09:25  

#6  #3 Teddy, aka Jabba the Kennedy.
Posted by Anonymoose 2006-01-18 08:25

Here's Teddy in his swim wear
Posted by: The Angry Fliegerabwehrkanonen   2006-01-18 09:22  

#5  I can't opine as to the veracity of the article, but its timing is certainly interesting. Teddy was an embarrassment at the Alito hearings. And the Owl Club item is a howler. Sensing vulnerability, the Herals prints a slime job like this. It might be taken with less salt than normal by the Baystaters. Perhaps the Senile Senator from Taxachusetts will not get to die in office.
Posted by: Nimble Spemble   2006-01-18 09:12  

#4  Not EVEN surprising. Ted YOU FREAKIN'DIRTBAG!!!
Posted by: ARMYGUY   2006-01-18 09:03  

#3  Teddy, aka Jabba the Kennedy.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2006-01-18 08:25  

#2  ...If there is a God, the kid is a Republican.

Mike
Posted by: Mike Kozlowski   2006-01-18 07:53  

#1  â€œTed was not happy about the news.... and wanted to go out and get something to eat and take me on a loooooooooong drive in the country to discuss it. I wasn't hungry at the time, so I stayed at home and later ordered a Papa Johns Pizza.
Posted by: Besoeker   2006-01-18 06:55  

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