High school French teacher Curtis Lofton, 23, of Springford Terraces, Lower Paxton Twp., faces charges of assaulting an officer and drug possession after being arrested last month standing naked in the snow outside his house, according to The Patriot-News.
When police, responding to a report of a disturbance, asked Lofton if he was OK, he responded, "No, I am ... crazy, and I need a menthol cigarette," according to court papers.
If he says he's crazy, then he must be rational enough to know the difference, so he isn't. Catch 22, sort of.
Court documents say Lofton then allegedly told one officer that he was "Jesus Christ" and the cop must be "God" after being asked why he was nude and where he lived. Lofton allegedly bopped the policeman over the head with a plastic toy trumpet he scooped up from the yard after a fight broke out between them. The cop pepper-sprayed Lofton, who cursed and told him "'Jesus' is now blind," court documents say.
But he can still see your sins.
Police charged Lofton with resisting arrest, open lewdness, aggravated assault involving a police officer, possession of marijuana, unlawful possession of prescription drug oxycodone, and possession of drug paraphernalia. Terrence J. McGowan, Lofton's attorney, told The Patriot-News the defense of his client has been complicated by the fact that he doesn't remember anything that happened that night.
McGowan told the paper the school district had scheduled a meeting to address Lofton's future at Central Dauphin High School. "Basically, he had some mental health issues that hopefully are in remission. I don't think it affects his ability to be a French teacher and it wasn't school-related, so we're hoping we can get him back to work," McGowan told The Patriot-News.
God forbid you actually fire a teacher for anything (except voting Republican).