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| India-Pakistan |
| Pak tussle over Angeline Jolie |
| 2005-12-11 |
| She is lucky they let her leave Angelina Jolie’s many visits to our land have led to a spate of stories that have cast us in pathetic light. Although the glamorous Hollywood star has done absolutely nothing to deserve anything but our praise, it seems that the country’s top leadership is simply besotted with her and quite beside themselves to win her favours. While she has done everything humanly possible to assert to all and sundry that she is here only and only in her capacity as a representative of the UNCHR, her plea seems to have fallen on very deaf ears, of which there is no shortage, particularly in the country’s capital. There are numerous stories doing the rounds and some have found their way into print as well. On a visit to the Frontier, there was a tussle between the UNCHR officials, who must wonder what stuff we are made of, and the NWFP government over where Ms Jolie was to spend her nights. While the UNCHR was adamant that she would stay in the previously arranged facilities of Peshawar’s only 4-5 star facility, the governor, bless his dear heart, was rumoured to be insistent that she stay as his personal guest in the grand Governor’s House so that she could be ‘looked after’ properly. The desire to be in the company of the sultry actress was cloaked behind the NWFP’s traditional hospitality or the better term, ‘mahman nawazi’. It is said that this tussle reached embarrassing proportions and eventually the UNCHR officials were panic-stricken about Ms Jolie’s personal well-being were she to be lodged at the big house. How much of this was shared with Ms Jolie is not known and how discreet were the UNCHR in hiding from her the secret why the top man in the NWFP was so anxious to have her in his company is also not known, but people who live and work in Peshawar have many stories. The UNCHR prevailed, I am sure with their hearts in their mouths, and Ms Jolie was anchored safely in the hotel with clear instructions to bolt and chain-lock her door and not to respond to any knocking. What could she have thought of all this is something we will never know — certainly not till Ms Jolie reveals it one day — but while she did all in her power to dress conservatively, shrouded in miles of cloth and did not reveal even half a square millimetre of her delectable ankle or indeed of other areas where she is generously and wonderfully endowed, no one seemed unable to stop dreaming of Lara Croft, preferably in the horizontal position. Certainly it seemed that no one in the top echelons took her humanitarian work seriously. While all this tugging and pulling over Ms Jolie was going on in Peshawar and its environs with high pressure on Ms Jolie to make ‘courtesy calls’ on the high and mighty who perhaps would eventually settle for her autograph or a snap with her, over here in Punjab and our sleepy capital, more VIPs were lining up to have Ms Jolie in their midst. From reports doing the rounds, the Punjab chief minister was unable to understand why Ms Jolie was not having lunch with him in Lahore. There were offers of jetting her to and fro that were made in great generosity. Cousin Chaudhry Shujaat too was reported to be happy to escort Ms Jolie to lunch, dinner or whatever and numbers of minions in between were rushing about hoping to secure her favours and her assent to the many assignments that were being held up on silver platters. While none of us seems to have any definite news on how many of these dreams became reality, there are reports that on her second visit to the land of unending hospitality, it seems the NWFP governor had better luck and the authorities prevailed upon the lissom Hollywood beauty to make a trip to the Governor’s House. On her arrival there, who should greet her but, surprise, surprise, the governor himself. Since wonders will never cease, it also happened to be his birthday — just a happy coincidence — and she was led to the inner sanctum where an assortment of relatives, children, friends and well-wishers (no shortage of this variety when you are in power) waited with bated breath as the saying goes. Ms Jolie was persuaded to cut the Gov’s birthday cake with both holding the hallowed knife and many snaps were taken to mark the wonderful occasion. One hears that Ms Jolie was not amused and left shortly thereafter. There has been no denial from the authorities that such an event never happened. On her earlier visit, having survived the Frontier, she was however unable to say no to the prime minister, who took time off from his otherwise punishing schedule and had her all to himself of an afternoon of tea and a leisurely stroll in the prime minister’s immaculately cut — like his suits — Rose Garden. As Mr Aziz and Ms Jolie walked, there were controlled photo ops for the few granted the privilege of being in royal company. The pictures splashed by the prime minister’s ruthlessly efficient PR image-makers were in all the papers the next day and made for great star appeal. A young, dapper and suave businessman prime minister of a struggling, impoverished nation in the close company of a woman who makes your blood pressure race and whose luscious lips many of us dream about as we toss and turn at night. What were they talking about, one wonders. "How was Cambodia Angelina? May I call you Angelina? You know I have never missed any of your films? How do you fly through the air like that Angelina?" We’ll sadly never know but would it be exaggerating things to presume that Ms Jolie must have been rather amused by all this? Her next visit with actor Brad Pitt last month led this paper to produce a headline, on the front page no less, which in immortal words said, "‘Unbelievable’ scenes move Angelina Jolie to pits". I kid you not. While I am still groping with its devilishly clever rape of the language and still unable to fathom what precisely did the writer have in mind when the muse was upon him, there was the usual commotion in the higher regions of the government when Ms Jolie arrived in Islamabad. Dressed as if she was in permanent mourning, desperately trying hard to make people forget her actress persona, she travelled to the earthquake areas and spoke with passion at a very crowded press conference, on the need for more aid. However, she was unable to resist the insistent demands for a trip to the Presidency. Summoned to the Big House, she and actor Brad Pitt were entertained by the president, but en route she is reported to have been waylaid — if you will excuse the expression — and forced into a room where the khakis were waiting with autograph books, digital cameras and movie-making cell phones. Apparently Ms Jolie was stunned and angry and stormed out doing a version of ‘Take me to your leader,’ which in this case was the president. There calmer waters awaited. The question is why do we go over the top when such things happen? We are indebted to Ms Jolie for visiting us over and over again and admire the fact that she has done all she could to appear as a representative of a humanitarian cause, but it is very undignified the way the top people cave in and crave her company. Personal visits, cake-cutting pantomimes, walks in rose gardens — surely there is something called good sense and good breeding. There are things leaders should not be seen doing and the offices they represent come with a few public responsibilities. This is not the first time we have fallen over backwards fawning, scraping and bowing to whoever descends on us. This is also, sadly not the last. Sorry Ms Jolie that you have had to put up with this nonsense. Better sense should have prevailed, but then does it ever this side of the Suez? |
| Posted by:john |
| #9 Removal of the tools only prevents second offenses, Frank. One has to admire Angelina for being insistent on using her celebrity in the field rather than just talking to the big-wigs. |
| Posted by: Ptah 2005-12-11 18:47 |
| #8 it's tough to rape if the tools are removed as punishment |
| Posted by: Frank G 2005-12-11 16:31 |
| #7 TW, So it's the women's fault for not covering themselves? Do these muslims get punished or does this act go unpunished usually? What animals, makes me glad to know my daughter is a brown belt ;) as for me I'm an old lady, I should cover myself heh. |
| Posted by: Jan 2005-12-11 15:52 |
| #6 Kinda makes me wonder about how the muslims act in Europe, where nudity is more relaxed We hear an awful lot of stories about Muslim men who can't stop themselves from raping the local girls. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2005-12-11 15:12 |
| #5 Although the glamorous Hollywood star has done absolutely nothing to deserve anything but our praise, it seems that the country’s top leadership is simply besotted with her and quite beside themselves to win her favours. I know the feeling. |
| Posted by: B. Pitt 2005-12-11 11:11 |
| #4 Badanov, lol, I guess I was thinking about not having to wear all of the garb. The single female. Although, I think most women like wearing what their guy likes. And visa versa. At least here in america they can choose. |
| Posted by: Jan 2005-12-11 10:48 |
| #3 Even in America, nudity can be a big deal. But women are allowed to wear pretty much anything they want. Puleez. How many men have heard this from their signifigant other: Are you going to wear that? |
| Posted by: badanov 2005-12-11 09:42 |
| #2 Again, this only goes to show, how stupid these yocals are. Of course they see women undressed or dressed very scantily on the internet and in many movies and such. To insist that women wear all of the clothes to cover them up is ridiculous. You shouldn't have it both ways. Yeah, if they posed together Jolie and this yocal, with all of her garb on, how do you know it's her? Could you make out that it really is her? Even in America, nudity can be a big deal. But women are allowed to wear pretty much anything they want. I remind myself of that old joke about naked women on the planes screening terrorists. Haw. Kinda makes me wonder about how the muslims act in Europe, where nudity is more relaxed there, or at least it used to be. |
| Posted by: Jan 2005-12-11 09:32 |
| #1 Is there anybody in the Pak hierarchy that is not randy as a goat? |
| Posted by: john 2005-12-11 09:22 |