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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Why I cut my tackle: rugby fan
2005-11-19
A RUGBY fan who cut out his testicles with wire cutters to mark a Wales victory is at a loss to explain why he did it.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Geoffrey Huish, 31, performed the impromptu self-surgery in February when his beloved Wales beat world champion England. After performing the deed, Mr Huish put his severed anatomy in a bag and took them to his local social club to show fellow fans.
"Hey guys! Check this out!"
He collapsed with blood loss and was rushed to hospital but surgeons could not reattach his missing parts.
"Nope, ain't going to work. Toss 'em into the bin and call the speech pathologist; he's going to be singing soprano."
He was put in a psychiatric ward but has no history of mental illness and was at a loss to explain why he did it.

"I'd told my pal Gethin Probert before the game that Wales didn't stand a chance," Mr Huish said. "It wasn't a bet but I said I'd cut my balls off if we won.
So now we know why he did it.
"I listened to the game on the radio at home by myself.

"After the match I got up for a pee and saw the cutters in the bathroom. Gethin had left them after repairing the chain on my toilet.
That's what you get for leaving cutters lying around.
"I remembered what I'd said and thought he had left them for me.
You promised!
"I thought 'Oh no, I haven't got to do anything like that have I' and then I thought 'You can do it'.
Yeah, that's the spirit!
"So I started hacking away at my tackle. It took about 10 minutes and there was quite a bit of pain but I just kept going. The cutters were blunt so I had to keep snipping."
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch ...
After picking his testicles from the toilet bowl, he went to the social club. "I went in and shouted out 'I've done it!'," Mr Huish said.
Not exactly what I would have shouted ...
"I took my balls out and passed them in the bag to a friend.
"Hey man, check this out!"
"Ow-w-w-w-w, gross."
Mr Huish continues to see a psychiatrist. "I think about what happened every day and still haven't come up with a good reason why," he said.
And I don't think you're likely to, either.
"I'd had a lot going on and felt a bit down. "I can't have kids now but still want a family - maybe I'll adopt."
Just don't let the social worker hear about the psych report, 'k?
Posted by:Steve White

#5  Not the first time a soccer player cut his 'tackle' off; this also happened last year some time.
Somehow I just can't see a Yankees fan or NASCAR fan doing this: If the Yanks get beat, I'm cuttin' off my nutz..."
Posted by: USN Ret.   2005-11-19 21:49  

#4  And you thought Neuticles were for pets only.
Posted by: ed   2005-11-19 21:24  

#3  Thank God For Darwinism
Posted by: OnlySaneAnonymouseLeft   2005-11-19 20:10  

#2  Hard to believe that enormous quantities of alcohol weren't involved somehow...
Posted by: PBMcL   2005-11-19 15:24  

#1  How remarkable, a self-chlorinating genepool. What will they think of next? Do we even want to know?

Most definitely one of those "Let's not and say we did" moments.
Posted by: Zenster   2005-11-19 14:30  

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