 | | McDermott & Newton-John this year |
I had a crush on Olivia when I was in College in the 70s. In recent years, she has gotten into environmental moonbattery, but there was nothing too personally odd about her. She was either married or living with a boyfriend, and always seemed to handle herself with class. But what about the stories mentioned below of him 'faking' his death? Seems out of character for her to have odd circumstances...
Olivia Newton-John's lover 'missing'
By Nick Papps and Steve Gee
THE long-time lover of Australian singer Olivia Newton-John has vanished during a boat trip amid claims he may have faked his death.
| Ahah! This was on Lifetime for Women last week. The Little Woman went through an entire box of tissues... |
 A devastated Newton-John is said to be clinging to the hope that Patrick Kim McDermott, 47, is still alive because his body has not been recovered two months after he failed to return from an overnight fishing trip off California. But police suspect the photographer may have staged his disappearance.
| But it wasn't really him she was having the affair with. It was his evil twin, and he only wanted her for her money... |
Mr McDermott, the father of a 15-year-old son, had been dating Newton-John for nine years.
| But she only thought it was him. We know better... |
He vanished on July 1, but none of the boat's crew noticed him missing and his disappearance was not reported until he failed to arrive at a family function five days later.
"Hi, Olivia! Where's yer boyfriend?"
"Why, he's right... ummm... I thought he was with you!" |
Concerned relatives found Mr McDermott's car in a marina car park on July 11. They then searched the boat and discovered his backpack, fishing rod and tackle box before contacting the Coast Guard. Investigators are treating the matter as a missing-person case, but remain unconvinced by the crew's version of events and are pursuing the possibility Mr McDermott may have faked his death. "Is there any suggestion he may have run away, as opposed to have gone overboard? That's something we're still looking at," Coast Guard investigator Dennis Nebrich said.
"How many false moustaches did he own, Ms. Newton?"
"Eleven or twelve. But he only wore them when we were having sex!"
"Uhuh. And what colors were they?" |
"I liked the pink salmon colored one best!" |
Newton-John, 56, who has lived in the US for more than 20 years since starring in the 1978 hit film Grease, has not spoken publicly about the disappearance, but a close friend said she was "obviously experiencing a lot of grief".
| "Oh, Gawd! I'm so lonely! Nobody moustachioed like Whatsisname!" |
The friend added: "Everyone is shocked and devastated by Patrick's disappearance, and totally baffled by it.
"What do you think, Bob?"
"I'm baffled, Albert!" |
"There is nothing in his character to suggest he would deliberately take off. He would never leave his child. Patrick and Olivia are like soulmates. They have never had any problems whatsoever. We're still hoping against hope that he is found safe."
| But we know better than that, because we saw the made-for-teevee movie. Up at the abandoned silver mine, the real Patrick McDermott, who's been tied up for the past nine years while his evil twin has had his way with his true love, is in mortal peril... |
Coast Guard spokesman Danny Phee said McDermott's ex-wife had reported him missing.
"When did you notice he was gone, Ma'am?"
"About the time he met Olivia Newton-John." |
"It was about two weeks after the fact that the ex-wife reported him missing," Commander Phee said yesterday.
| She's in on it, you know. We only saw her in silhouette until the last coupla scenes, but I knew she was in on it all along... |
"We referred the matter to our Coast Guard investigative services, and they have interviewed several people including the boat's captain." Mr McDermott met Newton-John in 1996 while she was filming a commercial in Los Angeles. |