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Europe
When Boobies Are Outlawed...
2005-08-04
THE EU has declared a crackpot war on busty barmaids — by trying to ban them from wearing low-cut tops. Po-faced penpushers have deemed it a HEALTH HAZARD for bar girls to show too much cleavage. And in a daft directive that will have drinkers choking on their pints, Brussels bureaucrats have ordered a cover-up. They say barmaids run a skin cancer risk if they expose themselves to the sun when they go outside to collect glasses.

Last night the move was blasted as an affront. Annie Powell, of real ale group Camra, raged: “"It’s just another blatant example of Europe gone mad..." The ruling is part of the new Optical Radiation Directive — expected to be rubber-stamped by the EU parliament next month. Germans are already frothing over the new law — because bars in Bavaria have been forced to comply in advance.

Drinkers are threatening to boycott Munich's famous Oktoberfest beer festival. The city’s mayor Christian Ude fumed: "This is European law-making at its most pedantic. A waitress is no longer allowed to wander round a beer garden with a plunging neckline. I would not want to enter a beer garden under these conditions."
Another glimpse of life in the Holy Roman Empire. Or Wackyland. Remember, there is still a $1 Quadrillion bounty on the last surviving Do-Do bird.
Posted by:Anonymoose

#21  Great idea, Ed! They can sell them as "Banned in Brussels"!
Posted by: Robert Crawford   2005-08-04 19:56  

#20  Switzerland, not a member of the EU, but who celebrates Octoberfest, should use this as a tourist marketing program...

"Our barmaids are not endorsed by European Union bureaucrats.
Come to Octoberfest Switzerland 2005!"
Posted by: BigEd   2005-08-04 19:17  

#19  This is a work safety rule, right?

So instead of outlawing the lowcut tops they should mandate regular applications of SPF-40 sunblock.

To be applied by the customers, if necessary ....
Posted by: leader of the pack   2005-08-04 17:48  

#18  try again
This Festival has EU contestants.
Posted by: 3dc   2005-08-04 17:03  

#17  You can have those boobies when you pry my hot wet... um, nevermind.
Posted by: .com   2005-08-04 16:10  

#16  "When Boobies Are Outlawed..."

Only Outlaws will have Boobies?
Posted by: .com   2005-08-04 16:09  

#15  Oh man, that photo is priceless. I just shot coffee out my nose....
Posted by: mmurray821   2005-08-04 16:00  

#14  What are those two bald heads doing in the photo?
Posted by: Captain America   2005-08-04 15:18  

#13  .com & Jan - LMAO!!!
Posted by: Yosemite Sam   2005-08-04 14:20  

#12  Skin cancer on their faces, arms and legs is apparently not a worry. Just tits.
Posted by: mojo   2005-08-04 14:18  

#11  hey YS, is that a nipple ring?
Posted by: Jan   2005-08-04 14:06  

#10  Does the EU ministry of prevention of vice and promotion of virtue have need for undercover investigative agents?
Posted by: MunkarKat   2005-08-04 13:28  

#9  Hmmm. A little too perfect, YS. Those must be fake. Did you thump 'em? ;-)
Posted by: .com   2005-08-04 13:20  

#8  The ruling is part of the new Optical Radiation Directive

With a title like that, you know it has to be chocked full of nutty goodness.
Posted by: Robert Crawford   2005-08-04 13:19  

#7  Nothing like a nice pair of melons...

Posted by: Yosemite Sam   2005-08-04 13:17  

#6  That does it. I'm with tu.

I declare Jihad on the EU.
Posted by: .com   2005-08-04 12:45  

#5  maybe they should wear the hijab.
Although it was always the strong muscular guys carrying the 8 pitchers of beer that intrigued me at ocktoberfest
No we shouldn't protest, I can see a Rantburg reunion here to discuss the matter though
Posted by: Jan   2005-08-04 12:31  

#4  Let me get this right. Lets see...
Brothels == Good
White Slavery of Eastern European Women == Good
Love Parades with sex in the street == Good
Nude or topless beaches == Good
Nude museums == Good

Low cut barmaid's outfits == Bad

What is it that I don't understand here.
Posted by: 3dc   2005-08-04 12:24  

#3  I think the whole initiative will turn out to be a bust.
Posted by: Mike   2005-08-04 12:18  

#2  This...means...WAR!!!
Posted by: tu3031   2005-08-04 12:13  

#1  Look: principles are nice and all, but there's no way I'm boycotting a beer festival. Even for something as tragic as this.
Posted by: BH   2005-08-04 12:04  

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