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Afghanistan/South Asia
Tales from the Crossfire Gazette
2005-05-24
Robber leader killed in 'crossfire'
An alleged leader of a gang of robbers was killed in a 'shootout' between his accomplices and police at Balurghat village in Trishal upazila of the district on Saturday night. Police identified the gang leader as Harun-or-Rashid, 30, of village Char Bhelamari in Nandail upazila. They said Harun was wanted in at least six criminal cases. Police arrested Harun in Hotapara area of Gazipur district in the morning.
"Morning, Harun. Stickem up!"
On his confessional statement
..."Ouch, I'll talk! Just tell him to stop doing that!"
, they took him to Balurghat village to recover illegal firearms at about 11:30pm.
Hummm, making a early night of it. Must have a date later.
When police reached the village, Harun's accomplices opened fire on the law enforcers, forcing them to retaliate. Police said Harun was caught in the 'crossfire' while trying to flee and died instantly.
"Tell ya what, Harun. If you make it over that fence, we'll let you get away." "Really?" BANG! "Ha, hah, nope. Just kidding"

Two muggers lynched in Ctg
Two unidentified muggers were lynched by a mob in Hathazari upazila of the district on Sunday night. According to police and witnesses, four muggers in the guise of passengers hired a CNG-run autorikshaw to travel to Hathazari from the city's GEC intersection at around 8:30pm. When the auto-rikshaw reached Shikerpur under the upazila, the muggers dragged the driver, leaving him in a paddy field with his hands and legs tied, and tried to flee with the vehicle.
Auto-Rickshaw Jacking
As the driver cried for help, locals and traders of a nearby market intercepted the muggers and caught two of them, while the remaining two managed to flee.
"Feet, don't fail us now!"
They beat up the muggers, resulting in their death on the spot.
"Ouchouchouchouchouch....rosebud"

Prisoner of Sylhet dies
SYLHET, May 23:—An inmate of Sylhet Central Jail was rushed to Osmani Medical College Hospital with chest pain and was later pronounced dead yesterday (Sunday), says UNB.
"He's dead, Jim"
Official sources said prison authorities took inmate Abdul Jalil, son of late Sekendar Ali at Amalsid village in Jokiganj to Osmani Hospital where he died Sunday afternoon.
"What's wrong with him?" "Don't know, he keeps grabbing at his chest. I nearly broke my best truncheon on his arm."
It was not clear if Jalil was a convict or under-trial prisoner, but the sources said the body was handed over to family members after post-mortem.
"Here ya go. Have a nice day"

One shot at in Rajshahi
May 23: Abu Shayem (18), son of a renowned businessman Omar Ali was shot at and was seriously injured by a gang of unidentified miscreants at 11 pm in front of his Talaimary house on Sunday. Sayem was admitted to Rajshahi Medical College Hospital in a critical condition. According to eyewitness source, while Abu Shayem was returning home after completing his regular work, from the Unilever office of Shaheb Bazaar with cash money on a pickup van, he was shot by unidentified gunmen near his house.
BANG! "Stick um up!"
Abu Shayem also an HSC examinee from Rajshahi University School.
He'll be missing classes for a while
As reportedly the driver of the pickup, when Shayem got down from the pickup in front of his home, fired and fell down on the ground, as one bullet hit him on his head and another on the belly.
That'll leave a mark
Receiving the information, members of Rapid Action Battalion (RAB) rushed to the spot and recovered two blank pistol bullets from there.
I think they mean expended cartriges, but, this is Bangaladesh.

Woman UP member to sell kidneys to repay loans
Tahmina Sultana, a member of the Ekdanta union council at Atgharia in Pabna on Monday announced that she would sell her kidneys to repay her loans as she has no other option. Talking with newsmen at the Crime Reporters' Association office in Dhaka, Tahmina said she decided to sell her kidneys after she had failed to repay her loans.
Wow, talk about your tough campain finance laws!
She earlier borrowed the money at the time of elections in 2003 and to pay the wages of labourers for a project in her locality. 'I had to borrow Tk 1.5 lakh from moneylenders; but the amount now increased to Tk 4 lakh on interest,' she said.
It's the vig, that'll get ya every time
'I have failed to repay the money. The moneylenders have hired people to collect the money and they have been threatening me and my family members,' she said.
Bruno and Fat Louis Collection Agency, leg-breaking a specialty.
She has now been staying off her family in the face of threats, she said. She blamed the local chairman, Ataur Rahman Rana, for 'hatching a conspiracy' against her.
A Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy?
'As my uncles are associated with the Awami League, Rana, who is also general secretary of the BNP's Atgharia unit, has been holding me back from development works for the people of my area', she alleged. 'The chairman did not pass a single project although I had submitted at least 10 from the time I was elected member on the reserved women's seat in the union council in 2003,' she said.
"da man is holding me down"
Posted by:Steve

#6  exactly!
Posted by: Sock Puppet 0’ Doom   2005-05-24 21:33  

#5  Something like this, SPo'D?
Posted by: .com   2005-05-24 19:23  

#4  SPoD wait for the Triple-Hybrid Auto-Rickshaw, man, 2 cycle 500 cc petrol, battery. The man engine is for top-end and low end torque.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-05-24 16:25  

#3  I want an auto-rickshaw now.
Posted by: Sock Puppet 0’ Doom   2005-05-24 14:16  

#2  If humans were built by Grumman we'd have four and they'd be surrounded by bone.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-05-24 12:46  

#1  Selling her kidneys? What she got, like four of them?
Someone might want to explain basic biology to Tahmina...
Posted by: tu3031   2005-05-24 11:54  

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