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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Residents Claim Neighbors Bombarding Them With Radiation
2005-05-23
The D'Souza family lives in the home on Timberwood Court, and claims the aluminium pieces are necessary to protect them from unknown neighbors who have been bombarding them with radio waves and making them sick.
"Somebody must be, I mean, why else would there be voices telling me to do it?"
"(It's) a shield to protect against radiation, because microwave radiation is reflected off of aluminium, so it's a protective measure," resident Sarah D'Souza said.
Obviously, a science major
The D'Souzas said the bombardment began after the first anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, and that the radio waves have caused them health problems ranging from headaches to lupus. Sacramento Code Enforcement officials have gotten involved and ordered the family to remove the metal by Monday or face a misdemeanor citation. "Eleven years in Sacramento and few other years in Southern California and this is the first time I've ever seen (anything like this). The inside of the house is also covered with foil and the beds are covered with a foil-like material as well," Sacramento Code Enforcement spokesman Josh Pino said.
"Normally you only see this kind of behaviour in San Francisco."
The D'Souzas said they will comply with the order and remove the sheet metal, but they also plan to gather evidence to show city officials what they believe is a problem with radiation.
Posted by:Steve

#33  You sure that isn't the Celebrity anal Retention Facility - being Barb Boxer and all?
Posted by: CrazyFool   2005-05-23 22:19  

#32  Any jobs for Unix/BSD people with strong accounting and manufacturing experience?
Posted by: badanov   2005-05-23 22:14  

#31  I'm so sorry.;)
Posted by: Jotch Slomotch9945   2005-05-23 22:12  

#30  Somebody left out 'Recreation Camp' management.

(I'm supposed to go for my second interview at the Barbara Boxer-Mojave Celebrity Retention Facility next month...)
Posted by: Pappy   2005-05-23 21:16  

#29  PS: My Viking Helmet protects me quite nicely. It's good for more than wearing at dog Viking funerals.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2005-05-23 21:06  

#28  Call Mucky! It's gotta be the Lizard Peoples!
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2005-05-23 21:01  

#27  AC, CF -- ROTFL. Now I understand. No wait -- if I understood they've have to disappear me. I'm still confused. In fact, I never heard of Halliburton. Hold on, the doorbell's ringing....
Posted by: Matt   2005-05-23 18:34  

#26  why the f@#! should the govt get involved? if they want to live like idiots let them..
Posted by: Dan   2005-05-23 18:06  

#25  AC - LMAO!!!

Holy shit that's funny, lol!

*applause*
Posted by: .com   2005-05-23 17:28  

#24  "Curses, foiled again!"

--memo, Haliburton/IDI Death Ray Division.
Posted by: Mike   2005-05-23 17:27  

#23  Trilateral Commission?
Bilderberg?
CFR?
Templars?
Posted by: Fred   2005-05-23 16:34  

#22  Anyone got a contact name for teh "Plundering and Looting Division?" I may be looking for a new job soon.
Posted by: Cyber Sarge   2005-05-23 16:34  

#21  Well we could give it to you... but then we'll have to kill you!

As far as I am allowed to know there are several Divisions (several of which AC left out which just shows that nobody knows the entire org chart except for Evil Lord Cheeney....)

  • Earthquake / Tsuami Generation Division

  • Zionest Death Ray Division

  • Koran Eating Toilets Division (under development)

  • Killing of baby ducks, puppies, and seals Division

  • Arab Humiliation Division (phasing out - they do too good of a job on their own - we can't compete!)

  • Victimization of Mainstream Media Personality Division (very small - doesn't really have to do anything!)

  • 'Fox News' Division

  • and of course the 'Secret Evil Lair and loyal Henchmen Development' Division.


Any Others?

Posted by: CrazyFool   2005-05-23 16:18  

#20  Hey! What about us?
Posted by: Halliburton: Conquest of Space Division   2005-05-23 16:17  

#19  That's all under "HAARP"
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2005-05-23 16:15  

#18  What's going on here! Why nothing about the black helicopters, brain implant and animalistic noise terrorism departments?
Posted by: Tkat   2005-05-23 16:14  

#17  Anybody got an org chart for Halliburton? I'm so confused

Interesting you should ask. Short notice and drawn from memory, but should be fairly accurate in terms of our current deployments:

Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2005-05-23 16:11  

#16  Anybody got an org chart for Halliburton? I'm so confused.
Posted by: Matt   2005-05-23 15:15  

#15  Well hey,,,,, we have to send the excess radiation somewhere!
Posted by: Haliburton / Zionist Death Ray Division   2005-05-23 14:51  

#14  Ah, relax guys. It's South Natomas. Hopefully, a flood will wash away our shame...
Posted by: mojo   2005-05-23 14:47  

#13  Damn! Outed again! We may have to close our Sacramento lab if we can't deploy the Rovian media conspiracy to mock these Kucinichoid specimens out of the public's awareness.

Fortunately another site is available and we even have a local cover:
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2005-05-23 14:31  

#12  Crystals will protect you. No, wait, it's pyramids. No, wait, it's the grapefruit diet. No, wait, it's antioxidants...
Posted by: Tom   2005-05-23 14:00  

#11  What is funny is the slipshod way they put up the metal siding. There are wide gaps for which the deathrays can penetrate the house. After the removal of the corrugated steel they are looking at aluminum siding. I doubt that radio waves were making the sick, but it might be that pig sty of a yard where they live.
Posted by: Cyber Sarge   2005-05-23 13:59  

#10  Locking yourselves in a refrigerator is the only way to stop the radiation.
Posted by: mmurray821   2005-05-23 13:36  

#9  Got their address? I think I have some fine siding products for them.
Posted by: tin man   2005-05-23 12:08  

#8  I will jet forth an counsel the family.
Posted by: Rev. Dr. Al Chappeau   2005-05-23 12:01  

#7  You've been watching Joe Cartoon too much!!!
Posted by: SamL   2005-05-23 12:00  

#6  How did they first notice the microwaves? Did the hamster explode?
Posted by: BH   2005-05-23 11:58  

#5  Lol, make up your minds, are they radio waves or microwaves?
It's not like you aren't being bombarded with radio waves all the time anyway (along with other varieties of electromagnetic radiation, neutrinos, etc.) just like the rest of us.
BTW, did the foil help?
Posted by: Spot   2005-05-23 11:55  

#4  Yes Tkat, sane folks are marginalized and locked up while the moonbats get paid to run the government.
Posted by: Mini Mullah   2005-05-23 11:53  

#3  They do have "involuntary commitment" laws and procedures in California do they not.
Posted by: Tkat   2005-05-23 11:34  

#2  Tin foil hats on steroids.
Posted by: Xbalanke   2005-05-23 11:23  

#1  LUPUS! IT'S LUPUS!!!
Posted by: George Costanza   2005-05-23 11:23  

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