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Afghanistan/South Asia
Afghanistan's clerics plan to launch 'Mullah TV'
2005-05-04
Radical Afghan clerics Tuesday unveiled plans to launch the country's first Islamic television channel since the fall of the fundamentalist Taliban regime more than three years ago. A group of hard-line religious scholars, or mullahs, based in the capital Kabul said the station would counter what they say are immoral and un-Islamic programs being broadcast by other channels. "We plan to launch our own TV channel and through this channel we will broadcast Islamic programs," said Qyamuddin Kashaf, a spokesman for the Ulema Council, the group behind the plans.
"Yes! We can well compete with MTV and jiggling Indian bosoms by putting ourselves on the teevee to drone the Koran over and over! How can we lose?"
Watch their turbans unwind when they find out that television is unIslamic. I have a fatwa that says so right here.
Afghanistan has witnessed a rapid growth in television stations since the fall of the hard-line Taliban in late 2001, which banned all cinemas and television during its 1994-96 rule. The Taliban itself last month launched a pirate radio station operating from a secret mobile transmitter which broadcasts religious material as well as invective against the U.S.-backed government of President Hamid Karzai. The clerics, who are not linked to the ousted regime, have not yet chosen the TV channel's name but they said it would start transmitting in the near future.

In addition to state-run TV, four television channels run by local warlords and private companies are operating in Afghanistan, and there are also several cable providers. Most private stations run Western music videos and movies and have come under criticism from conservatives who call the programs un-Islamic.
Posted by:Fred

#22  hehe great thread > just got back from work (2.00am) > needed something to free the stress , so to speak , and this thread has done that :)
Cant wait to see their version of Dallas , Dynasty and gawd forbid .... Songs of Praise :p
Posted by: MacNails   2005-05-04 21:03  

#21  Mullah TV? Will they do the Hyperactive UPS Driver bit? That was fairly funny. And the one with the overgrown kid who sez ''Look what I can do!''
Posted by: eLarson   2005-05-04 19:23  

#20  I'm with Dan. Every episode ending with crossfire would be a hell of a show.
Posted by: phil_b   2005-05-04 18:25  

#19  Actually, I'd be kind of interesting in seeing a show based on CSI: Bangladesh ...

This week's episode: ''Cross-fire at 4 am!''
Posted by: Steve White   2005-05-04 18:18  

#18  The Streets of Kandahar...



Posted by: Sgt. Mom   2005-05-04 17:17  

#17  Afghanistan has witnessed a rapid growth in television stations since the fall of the hard-line Taliban in late 2001, which banned all cinemas and television during its 1994-96 rule.

If they were overthrown in 1996, who was it our 100 or so Special Forces (w/ credit to the Northern Alliance) overthrew? Looks like this ''newssite'' is in par w/ Mullah TV!
Posted by: BA   2005-05-04 15:19  

#16  Or ISI: Lahore
Posted by: Seafarious   2005-05-04 14:34  

#15   Actually, I'd be kind of interesting in seeing a show based on CSI: Bangladesh ...
Posted by: Dan Darling   2005-05-04 14:19  

#14  ''Today'' with Katie Couric. Except that Katie gets that colonoscopy everyday... and can't flash those ''not bad for an old broad'' wheels anymore.
Posted by: tu3031   2005-05-04 13:16  

#13  To the Classics with this one, Fred!
Posted by: Raj   2005-05-04 12:57  

#12  Let's call it: Air Afghanistan
Posted by: badanov   2005-05-04 12:36  

#11  Desperate Harem Girls

Trading Burkas

CSI: Panjashir Valley

Law & Order: Vice and Virtue Unit

All in the Taliban
Posted by: Mike   2005-05-04 12:15  

#10  The madrassa soap opera ''Mullahs in Love''.
Posted by: ed   2005-05-04 12:14  

#9  My Mullah the Cair
Posted by: Shipman   2005-05-04 12:10  

#8  LOL
Posted by: Matt   2005-05-04 11:22  

#7  ''Everybody loves Ramadi'' followed by ''The Wahabbi Years''
Posted by: shellback   2005-05-04 11:13  

#6  new Islamic BBC - they'll be wanting a subsidizing tax and tuners that only get their channel
Posted by: Frank G   2005-05-04 11:03  

#5  I want my MTVeeeeee!

Now look at those turbans! That's the way you do it. Fatwa for nothing and your guns for free!

Posted by: Dreadnought   2005-05-04 10:38  

#4  Mullah News - "We report, you submit!"
Posted by: Steve   2005-05-04 10:18:33 AM  

#3  ''All Fatwa, All The Time!''
Posted by: mojo   2005-05-04 10:12  

#2  Can't wait for the perky A.M. mullahs on ''Good Morning, Caliphate!''
Posted by: Seafarious   2005-05-04 09:45  

#1  PTMG (praise the moon god) The people who will watch this crap don't have much brain left.
Posted by: Sock Puppet 0’ Doom   2005-05-04 12:52:04 AM  

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