TREE HUGGER FRIED ALIVE WHEN LIGHTNING STRIKES BIG OAK!By LAUREN HEDLEY
Tree-hugging Clare Sanderson was fried alive when lightning hit the oak tree she embraced like a lover while protesting a logging operation.
"She was yelling 'Down with loggers! Trees are our friends!' when -- Boom! Crack! -- the lightning struck and then all I heard was a whimper," recalls Mike Michelou, an environmental activist who witnessed the tragedy just west of tiny Lenoir, N.C.
He has blocked the memory of the sizzling sound.
"I was hugging another tree about 10 yards away and I could see everything. The lightning ran down the side of the oak right into the top of Clare's head.
Probably attracted to the tin-foil hat.
"The tree was scorched and burned and smoking, but it didn't fall.
Unlike Baghdad (bite me, Robert Fisk)
"But Clare did. She looked like a pile of charcoal."
As opposed to her usual appearance, that of a bundle of rags.
Police confirm that Sanderson, 28, "was instantly electrocuted by a rogue bolt" that ripped out of the sky on "a perfectly sunny day with no storm clouds in sight."
Rantburg has better sources than the WWN, particularly at [No Such Agency]. These hint that the incident was really a test of Karl Rove's newest psychotronic device and it went horribly wrong.
A spokesman for the logging operation issued a statement saying that the firm was "real sorry the tree hugger was killed, but the forest is no place for a woman anyway."
"She did have a purty mouth though"
"I think this was God's way of saying that these enviro-nuts ought not to be standing in the way of progress," he added. "I really do think He made an example of her."
Published on: 04/07/2005
My favorite WWN story of all time ran in about 1985 and claimed that a UFO with a Confederate flag painted on the bottom had buzzed a bullfight in Mexico. It reportedly played Dixie as it sped past the gaping crowd. They even had a picture.
At one time, there was apparently someone at WWN who really knew about old aircraft. They repeatedly ran stories claiming that missing World War 2 planes had been found in various odd places, chiefly outer space. Interestingly, the longer the range of the real aircraft, the farther from Earth it was alleged to have been found: A TBM Avenger in orbit, a B-26 Marauder on the Moon, and a B-29 on Mars.