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International-UN-NGOs
Annan report calls for UN-mitigated freedom
2005-03-22
ScrappleFace
(2005-03-21) -- United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan today unveiled a 63-page proposal for revamping the scandal-plagued world body. The proposal, to be considered at a summit in New York in September, calls for ejecting non-free nations and reducing the U.N. staff to six persons.

The following is an excerpt from the executive summary of Mr. Annan's report, titled "UN-Mitigated Freedom"...
-- All nations must immediately re-apply for membership, which will not be granted unless the applicant provides for its people freedom of religion and expression, an electoral process open to all and a free-market economy.
-- Nations with the following types of governments shall not be admitted to the United Nations: totalitarian states, dictatorships, monarchies, "people's republics," "Islamic republics," any nation-state that needs permission or approval from any other nation or organization to elect leaders or approve legislation.
-- Nations which fail to meet membership requirements shall be placed on a list of potential enemies until they meet the requirements.
-- Member nations which cease to fulfill membership requirements shall be ejected on a simple majority vote.
-- Member nations which lobby for special treatment of non-member nations which have not changed their ways shall be ejected on a simple-majority vote.
-- As a condition of membership, nations agree to have no trade relations with non-member states.
-- The United Nations shall be a cooperative service organization with a staff of no more than six persons whose main job is to maintain the United Nations blog and discussion forum.
-- The six employees shall work from their own homes and be provided a notebook computer, a broadband internet connection and a satellite phone.
-- No regular general sessions of members shall be held, and there are no standing committees nor ongoing agencies.
-- Diplomats in member nations who have "grand visions" or "compelling speeches" may post them to the United Nations blog.
-- When collective decisions are needed, member states shall communicate via an open internet discussion forum.
-- Resolutions shall not be considered.
-- Any voting shall be done online for the world to see.
-- United Nations military or peacekeeping action shall not take place.
-- Member states wishing to engage in military action may do so at their own initiative and at their own peril with alliances of their own choosing.
-- The United Nations shall have no jurisdiction in the legal proceedings of any sovereign member nation, nor shall any citizen of a member nation ever face trial outside of his own nation's judicial system.
-- Member nations may intervene to protect life, liberty and other human rights in non-member nations as they see fit, at their own initiative and at their own peril.
-- The United Nations shall not loan or donate money to any nation or individual.
Posted by:Korora

#3  I hope John Bolton reads Scrappleface.

On the downside, this would be a crushing blow to New York's four-star restaurant industry.
Posted by: Matt   2005-03-22 11:35:05 AM  

#2  Pretty sad when the satire makes more sense then the reality.
Posted by: tu3031   2005-03-22 10:47:06 AM  

#1  You know, this ain't a bad idea at all. Too bad it's parody . . .
Posted by: The Doctor   2005-03-22 10:42:48 AM  

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