'Progressives' have become 'enlightened' Writing in Jang, Abdul Qadir Hassan stated that the Progressives of yore have become Enlightened of today. They have jumped on to the political stage and are singing songs of Indo-Pakistan friendship in which Indian culture will triumph over Pakistan's. They want the beards to disappear and want to yank the chadar from Pakistani women. They praise America for killing Muslims. They are the old Taraqi Pasand (Progressive) who once used to land in Moscow. Now they have changed flights and are landing in Washington. They have changed their name to Roshan Khayal (Enlightened) because now America is supreme.
Warning to local pimps
Writing in Nawa-e-Waqt, Dr Zahur Ahmad Azhar stated that the pimps of India living in Pakistan forgot that in India Muslims were being crushed by Advanis, Modis and Thakarays and if they saw Jinnah today they would cling to him and beg him to liberate them from this slavery. The pimps in Pakistan who spoke against the idea of Pakistan should get the Labhu Ram of India to recognise the right of self-determination of the Muslims of India. If they can't do that they should know that Labhu Ram is relying on the pimps of Pakistan to deprive Pakistani Muslims of their rights too.
Cunning Jews and Hindus and simple Muslims
Leader of Jamat-e-Islami Punjab Hafiz Idrees wrote in Khabrain that Jews were clever (shaatir), Hindus were cunning (makkaar) and the Muslims were simpletons (sada-loh). Secret agencies RAW and MOSSAD were saheliyan (girl friends) and America was their mistress. The triangle was a triangle of evil. Israeli and Indian armies were cooperating to crush the Muslims of Kashmir while India was getting weapons from Israel to intimidate Pakistan.
Christians got it wrong!
Writing on Christmas Day in Khabrain, Dr Israr Ahmad stated that Christians were wrong when they said that Christ was crucified. According to the Holy Quran he was not crucified but raised to Heaven. He quoted Gospel of Barnabas to prove that angels had come down to raise Christ to Heaven before he could be crucified. Christians were actually deceived by Allah into believing that he was crucified. Dr Israr asserted that Pakistan was being undermined by an 'indigenous' Zionist lobby and that was Qadianis. The Christians of Pakistan should remain alert against them and their doctrine that Christ had run away to India and to Kashmir.
Astrologers predict crisis in 2005
According to daily Pakistan, astrologers in Lahore had predicted that in the year 2005 President Bush would be assassinated and will therefore not be able to complete his second term. In the UK, Tony Blair will have a heart attack. In Iraq, Saddam would be freed and American troops would flee. In Pakistan, President Musharraf will take off his uniform and announce the building of Kalabagh Dam. Nawaz Sharif and Pir Pagaro will become ill and Jamali will get a special job. The year 2005 will be the year of elections and Benazir and Nawaz Sharif will return to Pakistan. Indian prime minister Manmohan Singh will resign and Sonia Gandhi will become the new prime minister.
A 'political' goat for Sheikh Rashid
According to Sarerahe in Nawa-e-Waqt, a goat entered the public meeting being addressed by federal information minister Sheikh Rashid at Lal Haveli in Rawalpindi. After they saw the goat the audience were distracted and started running around after the goat. A wag said that it was actually Asif Zardari after the dheel, to which the minister replied that they should be careful about what they said because there were journalists present in the audience who would report the matter. He added that the goat be a political goat. Sarerahe stated that goat (bakri) meant coward in Urdu, but politicians were named according to their habits. One cleric who took diesel concessions from the government was called Maulvi Diesel while another cleric who stole rockets was called Mullah Racketi.
Mullah Diesel is our good friend Fazlur Rehman