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China-Japan-Koreas
N Korea wages war on a new enemy - long hair.
2005-01-09
North Korea has launched an intensive media assault on its latest arch enemy - the wrong haircut. A campaign exhorting men to get a proper short-back-and-sides has been aired by state-run Pyongyang television. The series is entitled Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle. While the campaign has been carried out primarily on television, reports have appeared in North Korean press and radio, urging tidy hairstyles and proper attire.

The propaganda drive on grooming standards has gone a stage further than previous attempts. This time television identifies specific individuals deemed too shoddy. Pyongyang television started the campaign last autumn with a five-part series in its regular TV Common Sense programme. Stressing hygiene and health, it showed various state-approved short hairstyles including the "flat-top crew cut," "middle hairstyle," "low hairstyle," and "high hairstyle" - variations from one to five centimetres in length. The programme allowed men aged over 50 seven centimetres of upper hair to cover balding. It stressed the "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.
Posted by:Paul Moloney

#19  " "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy."

Maybe they've been studying the US - comparing the stringly long haired anarchist lefty stoners (liek the ones on DU) to the high-and-tight US Marines and Army Ranger, and seen how effective each of them are compared to the other...

This is fun stuff, the only thing missing is the Juche.
Posted by: OldSpook   2005-01-09 11:59:46 AM  

#18  " "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy."

Maybe they've been studying the US - comparing the stringly long haired anarchist lefty stoners (liek the ones on DU) to the high-and-tight US Marines and Army Ranger, and seen how effective each of them are compared to the other...

This is fun stuff, the only thing missing is the Juche.
Posted by: OldSpook   2005-01-09 11:59:46 AM  

#17  long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.


It is on this note that we announce the First Annual Glorious Socialist Worker's Pube Census.
Posted by: BH   2005-01-09 10:52:17 PM  

#16  ...long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.

That explains Barbara Streisand...
Posted by: Pappy   2005-01-09 10:18:20 PM  

#15  Hair Soup!

I prefer hair pie, thank-you-very-much!
Posted by: Zenster   2005-01-09 4:20:07 PM  

#14  It stressed the "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.

Bwahahahaha!

Hair growth rate remains largely unaffected by length and utilizes the same amount of dietary nutrients regardless. Backing up intrusive statist dictates with pseudoscience only makes it all the more ridiculous. Fricking morons!

Trust a country with institutionalized starvation to come up with this sort of unmitigated bullshit.
Posted by: Zenster   2005-01-09 4:18:42 PM  

#13  Very fews Norks can afford a Van de Graaf generator like Dear Leader.
Posted by: AJackson   2005-01-09 3:17:42 PM  

#12  OH, gaaaak! That's disgusting, Frank...
Posted by: Dave D.   2005-01-09 2:21:30 PM  

#11  mmmm collect the clippings for Juche: Hair Soup!
Posted by: Frank G   2005-01-09 2:08:55 PM  

#10  Sorry Ship, but if this is Army First Man, he's been discharged.

Or recovering from a long illness, and this is his assigned therapy.
Posted by: Ptah   2005-01-09 2:04:30 PM  

#9  Let us trim our hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle.

Army First Man Lives!
Posted by: Shipman   2005-01-09 12:32:38 PM  

#8  " "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy."

Maybe they've been studying the US - comparing the stringly long haired anarchist lefty stoners (liek the ones on DU) to the high-and-tight US Marines and Army Ranger, and seen how effective each of them are compared to the other...

This is fun stuff, the only thing missing is the Juche.
Posted by: OldSpook   2005-01-09 11:59:46 AM  

#7  What next? State guidelines for nail clipping?
Posted by: Tom   2005-01-09 11:36:23 AM  

#6  Uh, Dear LoserLeader, how about mullets? They're only half long.
Posted by: Spot   2005-01-09 10:50:44 AM  

#5  The propaganda drive . . . stressed the "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.

Thing is, if you remember Woodstock and Abbie Hoffman, you start to think that they might have a point.
Posted by: Mike   2005-01-09 7:39:33 AM  

#4  They can kiss my fuzzy white butt. I'd even move my hair out of the way for it.
Posted by: Dishman   2005-01-09 5:11:41 AM  

#3  Sakes. Talk about intrusive....
Posted by: Bomb-a-rama   2005-01-09 4:09:23 AM  

#2  Nuveau Pouffi? ;-)
Posted by: .com   2005-01-09 1:50:47 AM  

#1  So what do you call the hair style sported by their freakish leader?
Posted by: Classical_Liberal   2005-01-09 1:43:15 AM  

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