| Weekly World News alert! |
and I thought the BBC didn't run commercials....
By Jake Anderson
Taking a page from American know-how, Al Qaeda terrorists have taken to bolstering their ranks by running late night infomercials on Iraqi television stations. The ads, for "Terrorist in a Box," show testimonials from enthusiastic customers like Abdul Joheeza, 21, who says in the ad, "Before I answered the infomercial, I was an unemployed camel herder. But since ordering "Terrorist in a Box," I have a direction. Allah willing, I'll blow myself up within three months!" The terrorist training kit includes a how-to book on mayhem- making topics like how to obtain fake IDs, driving a truck directly into a building, and how to take hostages. A sign of Al Qaeda's desperation to recruit new recruits may be indicated by the announcer in the ad, saying, "Call now and join the ranks of martyrs. Operators are standing by. And if you call within the next half hour, we'll throw in 25 extra virgins when you blow yourself up. AND THAT'S NOT ALL! We'll also include this 'Body bomb starter kit.'
AND THAT'S NOT ALL! Act now and we'll give your next of kin a month's supply of polenta."
According to sources, the ads are working extremely well.