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| P.J. O'Rourke: Putting Words in the President's Mouth |
| 2004-10-15 |
| Putting Words in the President's Mouth Sixteen obvious points that George W. Bush should make during the Wednesday night debate. (1) My opponent, Massachusetts senator John Kerry--or, as I like to think of him, Teddy Kennedy with a designated driver . . . (2) There are two organizations pushing for change in November--al Qaeda and the Democratic party. And they both have the same message: "We're going to fix you, America." On the whole, the terrorists have a more straightforward plan for fixing things. They're going to blow themselves up. Although, come to think of it, Howard Dean did that. (3) Senator Kerry, what do you mean my administration "lost" 1.6 million jobs? Did Dick Cheney accidentally leave 1.6 million jobs in the Senate men's room or something? Did you find them? Have you got 1.6 million jobs that you're hiding, Senator Kerry? And if you're elected, are you going to give them back? (4) Speaking of jobs, Senator, how come every illegal immigrant who wades the Rio is able to find one in about 10 minutes? Meanwhile, your Democratic core constituency has been unemployed for years. Are your supporters lazy, Senator Kerry? Or are they stupid? Back when Clinton was president, did your supporters think they got their jobs at Burger King because Bill was sleeping with the cow? |
| Posted by:tipper |
| #5 Holidays from Hell is very highly recommended. Only PJ O'R could write about the Communists love of concrete and make it hilariously funny. |
| Posted by: phil_b 2004-10-15 8:15:49 PM |
| #4 Actually, (7) and maybe (8) would've of been more then feasible for the debate, I would've lost my bearing hearing W punk Kerry out w/one of those. |
| Posted by: Jarhead 2004-10-15 4:15:01 PM |
| #3 I like the part of illegals being able to find a job in ten minutes. OUCH! That's going ot leave a mark! |
| Posted by: Cyber Sarge 2004-10-15 3:51:41 PM |
#2 What are you going to do, Senator, give Saddam Hussein a mulligan and let him take his tee shot over?That pretty much covers it. O'Rourke is a god. :-D |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2004-10-15 2:57:17 PM |
| #1 That is awesome. God bless O'Rourke. Reading his Parliament of Whores now. Had me falling off my chair at times. |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-10-15 11:57:57 AM |