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| Terror Networks |
| 13 ways to identify yourself as the Muslim fundamentalist |
| 2004-10-03 |
| Posted Oct 1st, 2004 Persian Journal 1. You will tolerate if someone says that there is no Allah, but will call for his head if he says that Mohammad is not the final prophet of that Allah. 2. You will claim that Allah is most merciful and most compassionate, but will also say those who do not believe in Allah will be roasted in the boiling oil by Allah. 3. You will claim that Allah has already decided who will be the Muslim and who will not be, but you will also claim that Allah has ordered the Muslims to convert the kafirs into Islam. 4. You will claim that Allah is omnipotent, but will also say the Allah is begging everyone to believe Him. 5. You will claim that Allah is omniscient, yet you will claim that Allah does not know what you are going to do next, since He has given you the freewill. 6. You will claim that Islam is a religion and those who critisize Islam are anti-muslim racists, but will also ask all the nations should be politically ruled by Islamic Law. 7. You will claim that Islam gives equal freedom/rights to women as well as men, but will say that women should be veiled but not men. 8. You will ask for rights for veling Muslim women in non muslim countries, but will refuse the rights of non muslim women to wear what they like in Muslim majority nations. 9. You will ridicule the myths in other religions but you will also claim that Mohammad rode a mythical horse to heaven. 10. You will always say "insha Alla" meaning all things happen due to the will of Allah, but will say all the criticism of Islam is satanic act and all the anti-Muslim acts are satanic acts. 11. You will claim that Islam is most tolerant but you will also shout all the critics of your views should be killed. 12. You will claim that Quran is without confusion, but you will also claim that your own sect is the only one that correctly understood Quran. 13. You will claim that Allah is limitless in his capacity but will also claim that Allah cannot talk to anyone after having talked to Mohammad. |
| Posted by:Mark Espinola |
| #4 You might be a jihadist if 14 people are killed at a wedding by gunfire in the air. Say might explain all those civilain casualties that Al-Jizem writes about all the time. |
| Posted by: John 2004-10-03 10:07:22 PM |
| #3 Is this something like you might be a redneck (fundamentalist) if... If your mother-in-law's burqa was bought at the Ringling Brothers' garage sale, you may be a backwater Islamist. If the welcome basket for your new Jewish neighbors contains chocolate covered gelignite, you may be a backwater Islamist. If the multiple choice portion of your class final includes the question, "Paper or Plastique?", you may be a backwater Islamist. If getting bombed does not involve overconsumption of any alcoholic beverages, you may be a backwater Islamist. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-10-03 9:29:57 PM |
| #2 John - good idea. We could write a whole routine for a comic. With a death wish. Let's go for it. :-p |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2004-10-03 7:26:04 PM |
| #1 Is this something like you might be a redneck (fundamentalist) if... |
| Posted by: John 2004-10-03 4:54:49 PM |