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Home Front: Politix
Mullah Kerry?
2004-10-02
Perhaps Sen. John Kerry does have an advantage after all over President Bush in understanding the complex political issues of the Middle East. New research by Burke's Peerage reveals that Mr. Kerry is the only presidential candidate in U.S. history who has genealogical descent from Muslims, Jews and Christians. "Senator Kerry ... is a virtual walking United Nations," says Harold Brooks-Baker, publishing director of Burke's.
Truer words were never spoken.
Mr. Kerry is kinsman of the Shi'ite shahs of Persia (the most famous was Shah Abbas I, who reigned from 1587 to 1629), as well as the Muslim kings of Tunisia, all of whom — Democratic presidential nominee included — descend from the prophet Muhammad.
"There is no God but Allah, and John al-Kerry is his prophet!"
Posted by:Steve

#27  YOU CAN'T CALL THE BRITISH QUEEN MS
'TAIN'T AS NICE AS ELIZABETH IS
BUT I THINK THAT THE QUEEN
WOULD BE EVEN LESS KEEN
TO HAVE HERSELF MENTIONED AS LS

That's from a "Black Widowers" story of Asimov. Quoting it from memory. :-)
Posted by: Aris Katsaris   2004-10-02 8:08:59 PM  

#26  A few years back, Queen Noor of Jordan(nee Lisa Halaby, a former airline stewardess) came to Lubbock for some sort of shindig at Texas Tech. This was a big deal for the local gentry, and many of them were invited, along with select faculty and a few other peasants, including my humble self. (I suspect that my residual North Country accent is the real reason I get invited to a lot of these international events).

Some self-appointed protocol droid from administration sent us all a list of do's and don'ts if we were lucky enough to encounter the sacred person of her sacred majesty in, er, person.
These found their way into the local paper, to the varied amusement and chagrin of the populace.
Among other things, we were told not to make eye contact with the royal eyeballs, not to speak to her first, and not to address her as anything but "your majesty"; no "ma'am" "Queen Noor" or "Lisa" for example.
I was incensed at this, since "ma'am" is perfectly acceptable for the honest-to-god Queen of England in direct conversation, and I could not see that the wife of a Saddamite collaborator rated higher than that.
I ended up being disinvited, lest ordinary courtesy prove inadequate to avoid an international incident.
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2004-10-02 7:50:13 PM  

#25  WTF, did everybody decide to start picking nicknames out of the Greater Phnom Penh Metro Area phonebook this weekend? This joint is getting wierder and wierder.
Posted by: Dave D.   2004-10-02 7:25:16 PM  

#24  Charoots of the Gods was a classic, all about how shade tobacco was brought to Havanna FL from secret Martian humidoors.
Posted by: Troon Snorong Shipman   2004-10-02 7:20:03 PM  

#23  In recent years, the notorious ex-convict and ancient astronauts quack Erich von Daniken has busied himeself with a new theory, expounded in his book, Holy Grail, Holy Blood.
This holds that the related tribes of feeble-minded inbreds known as the royal families of Europe are, in fact, descended from none other than Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene.
This is based on the very dubious claim that the big J survived the crucifiction and ran off to (where else?) France with Mary M, and started a family. This lunacy is an overt and literal defense of the divine right of kings, an idea that you might have thought had been disposed of during the French Revolution.
It is all the rage among Eurabia's chattering classes, when they aren't trying to out-do each other justifying terrorism through their bigotry and hatred for Americans.
Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy   2004-10-02 7:08:22 PM  

#22  I prefer the 1000 generations of poachers and olive thieves. Horse thievery is more lucatrive I should think.
Posted by: John   2004-10-02 6:46:45 PM  

#21  not me - I come from 1000 generations of poachers and olive thieves.....
Posted by: Angouter Phoung9177   2004-10-02 6:37:54 PM  

#20  If you were to trace your own ancestry back a mere 20 generations, he explains, you’ll find that you have (and everyone has) 1,048,576 20th great grandparents...

Not really true. For any person, a lot of those grandparents will be the same individuals cropping up again and again. That said, I don't doubt that Mohammed's (very very very very very much diluted) genes have spread far and wide.
Posted by: Bulldog   2004-10-02 6:24:12 PM  

#19  What's that shit about all of us being seven degrees removed from Kevin Bacon. Not me. Unless of course my Irish ancestry really came from England on the side of Cromwell. What can I say, crusade for the hell of it.
Posted by: John   2004-10-02 5:18:45 PM  

#18  Not Queen Elizabeth. Time for the razorblades and the bathtub.
Posted by: John   2004-10-02 5:15:53 PM  

#17  On Elizabeth via googlegroups: "a descendent of the Umayyid caliphs, via the Dukes of Aquitaine and the Umayyid caliphs of Spain. So are most English gentle families, via Edward III."

It's again Spain's fault, you see. ;-)
Posted by: Aris Katsaris   2004-10-02 5:14:31 PM  

#16  Queen Elizabeth is also a descendant of Mohammed, btw.
Posted by: Aris Katsaris   2004-10-02 5:09:12 PM  

#15  When I used to live up north, after travelling in a blizzard, clothes packed with snow, ice on the eyebrows and moustache, I could have been considered an AB..... I sure felt like one, heh heh.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-10-02 4:40:49 PM  

#14  This aide that concocted this scenario must be very young. Young enough not to realize that. to a bigot, part" Jewish means Jewish period.

They would have done well to realize that his Jewish component will be considered the dominant gene to Arabs and his Arab ancestory won't help him with the general populace.
Posted by: 2b   2004-10-02 4:39:03 PM  

#13  I'll be damned, Kerry is a raghead. He really is Heinz 57 varieties. A ploy to get the vote. I knew he was french (not capitalized) and his wife claims to be African-American as does Bill Clinton.
Posted by: John   2004-10-02 4:30:29 PM  

#12  "I suspect a bit of Yeti as well...."

Alaska Paul, the Abdominal Snowman?
Posted by: Dave D.   2004-10-02 4:25:53 PM  

#11  100,000 years of human progress and we get Muck4Doo and .com on the same blog. It's some sort of sign. :)
Posted by: Shipman   2004-10-02 4:17:51 PM  

#10  seen Paul - I suspect a bit of Yeti as well....
Posted by: Frank G   2004-10-02 3:57:37 PM  

#9  Unless the Prophet managed to get into the knickers of my S. African, Cherokee, German, Irish and ancestors, I doubt that 70% statistic.
Posted by: OldSpook   2004-10-02 3:47:56 PM  

#8  I have been found out!! O Horrors! Er, I resent the implication that I am a descend of Big Mo and Co. I am a purebred American Mongrel. I can be a loveable and loyal pet, or I can be a junkyard dawg. Insh'Allah, er hi there, citizens!
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-10-02 3:45:43 PM  

#7  Just waiting for the learned elders of Islam to come for the lost colony of al-Massachusetts.
Posted by: Seafarious   2004-10-02 3:24:35 PM  

#6  ... and you can bet it's not really "Alaska Paul", either; that's just a clever obfuscation of "Al-Aqsa Paul." You can make book on that.
Posted by: Dave Al-D.   2004-10-02 3:22:10 PM  

#5  "...about 70 percent of all Americans descend directly from the Prophet Mohammed."

You got that right, Bub.
Posted by: Dave Al-D.   2004-10-02 3:20:21 PM  

#4  That al-Aska Paul has always seemed a bit suspect to me...
Posted by: Seafarious   2004-10-02 2:58:01 PM  

#3  Here's an interesting press release that elaborates and includes:

"If you were to trace your own ancestry back a mere 20 generations, he explains, you’ll find that you have (and everyone has) 1,048,576 20th great grandparents, spread out over a wide geographic area, through many countries and over several continents. That would be people living around the 1400s for most of us now alive."

"...about 70 percent of all Americans descend directly from the Prophet Mohammed."

Well, certainly not any Americans on Rantburg I'm sure.
Posted by: Tom   2004-10-02 2:48:25 PM  

#2  I love this genealogical crap. My mother being a Mormon, I can make similar claims. Funny thing is, So Can Everyone On The Planet.

Approx the same level of twittery here as Shirley channeling your ancient ancestor - the Phucking Pharoah. Odd how those past lives were never the majority's fate: desperate survival and brutal serfdom.
Posted by: .com   2004-10-02 2:47:51 PM  

#1  Mr. Kerry is the only presidential candidate in U.S. history who has genealogical descent from Muslims, Jews and Christians.

Oh, please, don't tell Kerry that. I can see it now, "Oh yes, I'm a true child of the world. Because I'm descended from these three major religions, I know what's best for all. And did you know I was in Vietnam?"
Posted by: nada   2004-10-02 2:43:20 PM  

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