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Afghanistan/South Asia
Nuggets from the Urdu press
2004-10-01
Five thousand blasphemy cases, no result
Quoted in Khabrain, religion minister Ijazul Haq said that so far 5,000 cases of blasphemy had been registered in Pakistan but no one was ever punished with death.
Somebody's falling down on the job.
He said hudood laws were being abused by people to bring false cases against each other. He said that the Islamic law of zakat was in operation and Rs 55 billion had been distributed so far but there was no lessening of poverty which had actually increased after zakat.
Hmmmm...you take from the rich and give to the jihadis and the kleptocrats...and poverty increases, you say? I wonder why that is...
Musharraf will bow his head!
Writing in Nawa-e-Waqt Dr Israr Ahmad stated that the Americans wanted Musharraf to hand over Pakistan's nuclear weapons before they fell into the hands of the powerful clergy or at least to give them under American control. So far Musharraf was resisting the Americans but one American smiled and said Musharraf would agree. Musharraf should remember that when Liaquat Ali Khan challenged the American system the Americans killed him; when Bhutto was administered a warning and didn't accordingly act he too was killed by the Americans; King Faisal of Saudi Arabia too became rebellious and was killed by the Americans.
I thought those were Mossad operations? My bad. Better go check my sources. What was your address again, Dr. Ahmad? We'll get back to you.
No no, please, don't wait up for us, we'll knock around midnight.
Nasibo Lal versus clerics
According to Sarerahe in Nawa-e-Waqt, one cleric of Gujranwala had accepted singer Nasibo Lal's challenge that she could debate her song Rab nasib saday likhay katchi pencil naal from Rantburg's new random names generator (God wrote our destiny with a soft pencil) with any cleric. After her challenge Muhammad Mumtaz Ahmad Mujaddidi of Jamiya Masjid Anwaar-e-Midina Muafi Wala announced that he would issue a fatwa and have her stoned engage her in debate. The column however piously pointed out that only Nasibo Lal's song was not objectionable but an entire series of songs being sung in Lahore were objectionable from the religious point of view.
'Qazi is Osama's friend!'
According to Khabrain Qazi Hussain Ahmad's visit to Norway had become controversial. He was invited by the Islamic Centre in Oslo but the rightwing press had asked the government not to allow Qazi Hussain Ahmad to come because he was a friend of Osama bin Laden. A local newspaper detailed his statements in favour of Al Qaeda and asked for his banishment. The government had not yet taken a decision in this regard. The same day interior minister Faisal Saleh Hayat said in Islamabad that the MMA was in direct contact with Al Qaeda.
"But Qazi got into Norway, gave his speech, and went home safe," the article failed to add. They oughta be reading Rantburg.
'Muslims worse than Jews'
Daily Khabrain reported on the protest of Canadian Muslims against possible Shariah in Ontario by saying 'Muslims worse than Jews'. In Ontario women's organisations stated that if Shariah was enforced for Muslims, women would be crushed. They opposed the enforcement of Shariah in the state.
What youth did on Pakistan Day
Daily Insaf reported that 14 boys riding motorbikes and doing 'one-wheeling' died on the roads of Lahore. They had removed silencers from the bikes and were rude to the ladies. Nawa-e-Waqt reported that the youth of Lahore went around the roads on bikes with their shirts off and throwing crackers in cars carrying ladies. They blocked traffic on the roads and forced people to do bhangra
Kidz these days...
Yep, it starts with crackers, always crackers, why I don't know ...
Fazlur Rehman's jitters in Belgium
According to Nawa-e-Waqt when MMA leader Maulana Fazlur Rehman reached Belgium he found that he was being tailed by intelligence agents and the police. The local press called him a fundamentalist and a friend of Osama bin Laden and the Taliban. He was greatly flustered during the trip and appeared scared by the reception and once even quarrelled with a reporter.
Pssst, Fazl...was that a seagull soaring overhead or a Hellfire-armed UAV drone? Just askin', is all...
Communities against 'naatch-gana'
As reported in Nawa-e-Waqt, two communities in Manawalah and Muridke near Lahore announced their opposition to naatch-gana (dance and song) and other forms of culture and called upon their fellow ethnics to follow the strict path of Islam. The two communities were Mughals-Khans and Arains expressing anger at the increase in entertainment and decrease in prayer. They called it the new slavery and asked the state to fight against it.
Better watch it, preacher man...the town's gonna go all Kevin Bacon on your a**.
Posted by:Paul Moloney

#3  I dunno, tu3031, the lungi sounds pretty wild, too.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-10-01 11:21:33 AM  

#2  So what's the bigger threat here? Bhangra or naatch-gana?
Posted by: tu3031   2004-10-01 8:56:43 AM  

#1  bhangra Can't have any of that. Fun is not allowed you hear!
Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom   2004-10-01 4:18:26 AM  

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