Saudi Arabia's highest religious authority has issued an edict barring the use of cell phones with built-in cameras, blaming them for "spreading obscenity" -- a final resort after a ban on their sale and import to the kingdom failed to dent their popularity.
| It's those Arabia wimmin. Y'just can't control 'em. As soon as they lay hand on a camera, they stick 'em under those abayas and take photos of their genitalia. Then they call all their friends and gab all afternoon... |
Camera cell phones have caught on fast throughout Asia, Europe and the Middle East, particularly in oil-rich Persian Gulf countries, prompting concerns about privacy in places where people undress, "theft" of reading materials at book stores and newsstands, and corporate espionage by employees. As a result, the devices have been banned by gyms, retailers and companies in many nations. Even in the United States, where camera phones have taken longer to gain popularity, there is a bill in Congress that would make the taking of illicit photos on federal property a crime punishable by up to a year in prison and fines.
| ... which has nothing to do with the subject at hand. Taking illicit photos isn't the same thing as owning a cell phone with a camera in it... |
But the concern goes even further in conservative Muslim societies, where religious authorities complain camera phones are misused to photograph women without their knowledge.
| "They're nekkid under those robes, y'know? Nothin' there but round, firm titties; smooth, inviting thighs; smooth, rounded buttocks... By Allah! Bring me my gun! I need to... I need to... I need to shoot off!" |
A wedding in Saudi Arabia ended in a brawl over the photographing of women, and young men in the glitzy malls of the United Arab Emirates have been warned by police not to surreptitiously photograph female shoppers. In Egypt, a women-only beach on the northern Mediterranean coast bars cameras and all cell phones are checked on entry to make sure they don't have cameras.
| "[Sob!] Shapely Egyptian bosoms! Slender, tanned wenches, coming out of the water, their skin all goose-bumpy..." |
So far, however, only Saudi Arabia has taken the drastic step of banning the import or sale of camera cell phones and declaring them religiously forbidden.
| "Y'can't have 'em! It's religiously forbidden! It's in the Koran someplace. Go look it up!" |
The phones are still available despite a ban in March on their sale and import, easily smuggled in from neighboring Bahrain or the Emirates. But cellular shutterbugs risk having their phones confiscated, being fined or even spending up to a year in jail.
| ... after a thorough beating by the religious brute squad... |
Sheik Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah Al al-Sheik, Saudi Arabia's highest religious authority, announced the religious edict Tuesday in remarks to al-Madina daily newspaper. The devices, he said, were "spreading obscenity in Muslim society," the newspaper reported Wednesday. "All citizens should renounce this (the use of cell phones with cameras) ... for it can harm everybody without discrimination," the paper quoted him as saying. Violators "should be strictly confronted and punished."
| "And I'm warnin' youse! If this don't work, we're bannin' titties altogether!... Anybody got a tissue?" |
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