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Israel-Palestine
Israel kills Hamas fanatics on parade [Old news in an exquisite new bottle]
2004-09-08
Note to editors: Repost of highly amusing detailed account about a recent Hamas cook-off.
By Patrick Bishop in Gaza
Palestinians expressed amazement yesterday at the rashness of Hamas terrorists who were bombed by the Israelis as they paraded on a football field.
"There we wuz, like totally rulin' and all of a sudden it was hamburger all over the highway. Hey, wud gives?"
At least 14 terrorist trainees died and many more were wounded as they were drilled at midnight. Aircraft and helicopters fired six missiles at terrorist members of the Izzedine al Qassem brigades, the armed Buffalo wing dipped in blue cheese dressing part of the movement. Yesterday, youths gathered at the sandy killing fields in Shejaia, Gaza City, and said they were stunned that the terrorist militants had paraded in an open space where retaliation was utterly delightful & guaranteed.
We tole 'em and we tole 'em ... STUPID MARTYRS!
"It was a typically terrorist stupid mistake," said Amin Khalid, 25. "They should have taken more pills and stayed indoors as precautions. The Israelis had announced they would have their after-party revenge." About 50 members of the terrorist organization's brigades were in the habit of receiving deep drilling on the football field, named after the vaporized & assassinated Hamas asshole leader Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, four or five times a week after evening prayers, local witnesses said. They wore fatigues, masks and green headbands denoting their willingness to commit mass murder die, but carried no reproductive organs weapons. Since the Beersheba mass murders & bombings they had only met once.
(As in; "once is enough")
Posted by:Zenster

#12  Does this qualify as the unsuccessful running of the naked bootleg play?
Posted by: Raj   2004-09-08 7:59:32 PM  

#11  Now that's what I call a "passing out" (permanently) parade!
Posted by: RN   2004-09-08 6:29:30 PM  

#10  Ignore the grouchy guy - I enjoy the snide comments. Makes reading the news more fun.
Posted by: B   2004-09-08 6:23:25 PM  

#9  Zen went a tad wild on this one.

Every once in a while, the content just begs for some major parody work. I've been restraining myself of late but just had to cut loose with this one. As mentioned in the title line, this was old news in a new bottle. The details were a little more illuminating and I could not resist having a laugh at the expense of those Hamas murderers who were stupid enough to cluster up like this.

The 14 dead Hamas thugs nearly achieves parity for the 16 fatalities in the recent bus bombings. One can only imagine how many more Israeli lives were saved by eliminating these Hamas operatives before they deployed. That they were stupid enough to bunch up into an ultra-rich target sealed their doom and happily so. I'll also venture that all the people standing around watching these 14 killers weren't there to protest. Ergo, any collateral casualties were just icing on the cake.
Posted by: Zenster   2004-09-08 5:43:42 PM  

#8  " Hamas terrorists who were bombed by the Israelis as they paraded on a football field."

Parading at midnight? Sounds to me like the company commander wanted to do some extra practice so they could win the Pass-in-Review guideon banner at the next All Gaza Terrorist Jamboree.
Posted by: Penguin   2004-09-08 3:48:34 PM  

#7  #3 - in fairness most of the "comments" are not this extensive. Zen went a tad wild on this one.
Posted by: Liberalhawk   2004-09-08 2:00:28 PM  

#6  A rather large .com-esque * golf clap *
Posted by: Howard UK   2004-09-08 1:44:25 PM  

#5  A6363 - just click on the title to get to the original story.
Posted by: PBMcL   2004-09-08 1:40:05 PM  

#4  Maybe we could invite all the paleo boys over for a big party in Yankee stadium after the regular season ends. Looks like the Yankees probably won't be needing it. (I root for two teams: The Red Sox and anyone who beats the Yankees).
Posted by: DLS   2004-09-08 1:28:00 PM  

#3  Is there an informative site like this without all the graffiti and moustaches and horns drawn on all the pictures? I really like this site but sometimes the every-third-word jeering and derision makes the articles ridiculously difficult to read.
Posted by: Anonymous6363   2004-09-08 1:01:28 PM  

#2  After all, Israel now calls this method the "Yassin Procedure". Get your paint scrapers ready. There is a lot of red-brown stain on the cobblestone.

Does the pilot of the Isralei helicopter get to put a little turban decal with a red "X" across it for every terrorist bagged on his machine?
Posted by: BigEd   2004-09-08 11:11:42 AM  

#1  what strikes me reading this is the new phase of the war we have just entered. NPR, BBC, Rudeerrors, and all their ilk, can post all the scare quotes and talk of "summer camps" they want. It's not effective anymore - other than to give talking points to the apologists already proud to sport their tin-foil hats.

While that "summer camp" talk gives the Euroweenies and our left talking points for their apologies - no one who matters is listening anymore.

The fact that Masri is willing to forgo that charade shows even the "terrorists" are willing to forgo the silly pretense of "innocent victim" and start referring to themselves as "elite fighters".

It's a new day indeed.
Posted by: B   2004-09-08 9:30:38 AM  

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