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| -Short Attention Span Theater- | |
| Cod labeled air traffic hazard | |
| 2004-08-21 | |
| In Rantburg Strange Animal News Today: Norway's Civil Aviation Administration Avinor has accused Lofoten cod of threatening flight safety in Svolvær, newspaper Dabladet reports. Avinor, which owns Svolvær Airport, wants no part of plans to have live cod in enclosures in the vicinity of the runway. "The probability of a collision between planes and sea birds will increase dramatically," Avinor said at a hearing. Avinor's airport chief at Svolvær, Bjørn Opsahl, believes the cod will be a temptation for birds, and that feeding the fish would also attract the birds in numbers. Local businesses had hoped to cooperate by putting live Lofoten cod in enclosures in order to increase profitability by being able to deliver fresh cod all year round. "It sounds a bit strange that gulls and other sea birds are going eat such big fish," said Ole Osland at L. Berg Sønner.
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| Posted by:Seafarious |
| #30 After all - I mean - really, if ever there was a thread to go trolling in ... |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 10:19:45 PM |
| #29 why'd Ed go into the sinktrap? I mean ALL of Ed? |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-08-21 8:29:54 PM |
| #28 ed, Please say hello to the Mr. if you see him. |
| Posted by: Mrs. Davis 2004-08-21 8:24:29 PM |
| #27 Mercy! First poor Mr. D. now the entity known as e d! Hark! There is a vortex in the zone of the trolols. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-08-21 8:20:14 PM |
| #26 With fronds like this, who needs anemones? |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 6:38:30 PM |
| #25 Quit your carping. I've had it up to my gills. |
| Posted by: ed 2004-08-21 6:25:25 PM |
| #24 I knew this thread would eventually flounder. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-08-21 6:13:42 PM |
| #23 I've haddock with all this baccala. |
| Posted by: Pappy 2004-08-21 4:59:44 PM |
| #22 Mucky, you are absolutely right. Caging over the pen tops with wire mesh would solve the entire problem. Of course, that would constitute a logical solution and therefore had to be excluded immediately. Doctor, that classic little gem was by Kip Adotta, not myself. I leave you in cod's hands. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 4:20:19 PM |
| #21 that in goddamer zenster. but this story in stoopid. arent they ever hear of goddam nets! |
| Posted by: muck4doo 2004-08-21 3:33:34 PM |
| #20 Don't worry. Cod will find a way. |
| Posted by: DLS 2004-08-21 3:29:57 PM |
| #19 I bow my head in humility. Zenster, sir, you have bested my effort. |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-08-21 3:29:37 PM |
| #18 Time for the consumate fish story: (Pray to cod I didn't post it earlier) Think I Had A Wet Dream - Kip Adotta [with apologies] It was April the 41st, it being a quadruple leap year and I was driving in downtown Atlantis. My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was over-heating. So, I pulled into a Shell station. They said I'd blown a seal. I said, "Fix the damned thing, and leave my private life out of it, okay pal?" While they were doing that, I went across the street to the Oyster Bar - a real dive. But I knew the owner. He used to play for the Dolphins. I said, "Hi, Gil!" (You have to yell, he's hard of herring.) Gil was also down on his luck. Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water. I bellied up to the sandbar. He poured me the usual Rusty Snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred. With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side, heavy on the mako. I slipped him a fin, on porpoise. I was eeling good! I even dropped a sand-dollar in the box for Jerry's squids... for the Halibut. Well, the place was crowded. We were packed in like sardines. They were all there to listen to the Big Band sound of Tommy Dorsal. What sole. Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna: "Salmon-chanted Evening." And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably there to see the bass player. One of them was this cute little yellow-tail, and she's giving me the eye! So I figure this is my chance for a little fun. You know, a piece of Pisces. But she said things I just couldn't fathom. She was too deep. She seemed to be under a lot of pressure. And, boy, could she drink! She drank like a... well, she drank a lot. I said, "What's your sign?" She said, "Aquarium." I said, "Great! Lets get tanked!" I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait. I said, "Come on, baby, it'll only take a few minnows." She threw me that same old line, "Not tonight. I got a haddock." And she wasn't kidding, either, 'cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike. He was covered with mussels. He came over to me and said, "Listen, shrimp, don't ya come trolling around here." What a crab! This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes. I turned to him. I said, "Abalone. You're just being shellfish." Well, I knew there was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, 'cause he was already on the phone to the cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke. But there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel. Kelpless. I said, "Forget the Cods, Gil. This guy's gonna need a sturgeon." Well, the yellow-tail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me. She said, "Hey, big boy, you're really a game fish. What's your name?" I said, "Marlin." Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to dinner. I took her to dance. I bought her a bouquet of flounders. And then I went home with her. And what did I get for my trouble? A case of the clams. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 3:28:20 PM |
| #17 Enough already!! Throw a tarpon it, wouldja? Sheesh... |
| Posted by: Dave D. 2004-08-21 2:55:45 PM |
| #16 Holy mackerel! You guys just keep carping on about these fish! I suppose it never occurred to you that this whole cod crusade could be a red herring placed by Halibut-on. A dab here, a pout there, and before you know it, we'll all be put in our plaice - without a chance to raise our pikes - and then it will be the sole corporation! Don't get so exited, guys; stay cold fish and see the conspiracy layers within! |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-08-21 2:35:20 PM |
| #15 I will get my revenge, cod willing. There is only one true cod ... |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 2:30:31 PM |
| #14 Yea we can't have Cod vats out at the airport. However we can let known terrorist supporters enter teh counrty. Good Old Norway. Cod save the King of Norway. Ja U BetCha, fur sure. |
| Posted by: Sock Puppet of Doom 2004-08-21 2:27:11 PM |
| #13 If we get buried any deeper in these fish jokes we'll be ... [wait for it] ONE NATION UNDER COD Come on, someone had to say it. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 2:23:43 PM |
| #12 Being a Pisces, I object to this fish-for-fun excercise. I will get my revenge, cod willing. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2004-08-21 2:19:11 PM |
| #11 Something fishy about all these puns . . . I'd take this story seriously. Remember, America's Founding Fathers were, by and large, Cod-fearing men, and we should be, too . . . |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-08-21 11:17:33 AM |
| #10 It's Cod Jihad! |
| Posted by: Punny the Lesser 2004-08-21 11:11:54 AM |
| #9 Stop it this instant, or I'll send you to meet Cod's Right-Hand Man! |
| Posted by: Attilla the Pun 2004-08-21 11:07:38 AM |
| #8 And Cod Created Woman Children of a Lesser Cod Oh, Cod City of Cod Agnes of Cod The Love Cod Cod's Little Acre This is almost as fertile ground as Washington Irving and Irving Washington. Or John Milton and Milton John |
| Posted by: DLS 2004-08-21 11:04:12 AM |
| #7 ...You all laugh, but this will make anyone from Cleveland (like me) blink and ask 'WTF' - the WWII submarine USS Cod has been a museum there for almost 50 years, and it's AT Burke Lakefront Airport...I'm trying to figure out what idiot decided a submarine is an air traffic hazard. After all, it IS Cleveland... Mike |
| Posted by: Mike Kozlowski 2004-08-21 10:30:49 AM |
| #6 Cod labeled air traffic hazard And the long awaited sequel ... Cod is my Copilot No applause, just throw money ... |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 5:26:54 AM |
| #5 Ja boot it sure smells gud tu! |
| Posted by: FlameBait93268 2004-08-21 3:08:59 AM |
| #4 Lutefisk is haram! Purty durty, jah. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 2:59:01 AM |
| #3 Lutefisk is haram! Ole: "Swen way did ju trow your pen down dere?".... |
| Posted by: Trolling for Allan 2004-08-21 1:42:47 AM |
| #2 Insert gratuitous lutefisk joke >here<. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-08-21 1:31:06 AM |
| #1 The title is a classic, lol! And the objections to the cod farm strikes me as quite reasonable, lol! Bird Strike |
| Posted by: .com 2004-08-21 1:13:46 AM |
