How much influence does Hollywood have on John Kerry? Listening to him during this campaign has been like watching the movie "50 First Dates," where Drew Barrymore's character has amnesia. Kerry has contradicted himself so often that one has to deduce that his memory is seriously failing, or he's so scarred by his Vietnam guilt-trip that he's perpetually flummoxed. (That is, if one doesn't want to call him a soulless politician who has no conscience, no core and panders to the moment.)
Ones doe, one does.
Kerry's Democratic National Convention speech was a series of crazy contradictions to his 20-year Senate voting record on the military. If not for amnesia, there seems no possible way that Kerry could have maintained a straight face while he waxed on about building up the military and perfecting intelligence.
Botox?
Is he kidding? This is a man who's spent a 20-year career voting to tear down the military and dismantle intelligence services... In an interview with George Stephanopoulos, Kerry said that he has a secret plan to fight terrorism, but he won't tell us about it unless he's elected president. Stephanopoulos told Kerry that he sounded like Nixon, but I think he sounded more like an overwrought Hollywood movie. Imagine Kerry's voice lowering a few octaves as he says, "Only upon becoming president will I save the nation. My plan is classified. I could tell you, but then" -- pause for dramatic effect -- "I'd have to kill you."
Nope - that would be the Clintons.
If the warped, material world of Hollywood is Kerry's image of "the heart and soul of America," doesn't it make you wonder what Kerry's idea of the perfect presidential Cabinet would be if he were elected?
Wonder? More like terrified.

• Chief of Staff: Jane Fonda. Bonded by the Vietnam War, they may have mutual friends from the Viet Cong, and Jane probably respects Kerry immensely because he's confessed to so many disgusting war atrocities.
  Which the lamestream media obediently ignores in their "reporting."
  
  
• Press Secretary (propaganda minister): Michael Moore, whose expertise in spinning a yarn and lying will be invaluable to deflecting blame.
  
  
• Secretary of Health and Human Services: Whoopi Goldberg. Although she's still struggling with the technically correct terms for the female anatomy, her verbal interest shows a willingness to learn.
  
  
• Secretary of Defense: Kofi Annan. This would dovetail beautifully with Kerry's defense policy as he has articulated it by saying to The Harvard Crimson, "I'm an internationalist. I'd like to see our troops dispersed through the world only at the directive of the United Nations."
  I'd like to see the UN dispersed, so I guess we're even.
  
  
• Secretary of the Treasury: Teresa Heinz. She loves a big checkbook, and there's none bigger than that of the good ol' U.S. of A. Oops, an anti-nepotism statute was passed after the Kennedy administration, prohibiting a president from appointing a family member. Kerry will have to get that law changed, but that might be tough as it would require he show up and vote "for" something. He's missed 89 percent of Senate votes this year, and 64 percent last year, and he missed 38 of 49 public meetings while he was on the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence. But he still collects his paycheck!
  *snip*
  This list should be funny, but it's too close to the truth.
  But don't take my word for it, check it out for yourself. If you dare.
  I've already dared. And it ain't pretty.