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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Burger Fan Wolfs Down 20,000th Big Mac |
| 2004-07-21 |
| Chalk up another meaty milestone for Don Gorske. The Fond du Lac man downed his 20,000th Big Mac sandwich Monday, while surrounded by spectators at a local McDonald's restaurant. He already had made the "Guinness World Records" book for eating a record number of Big Macs before he hit number 19,000 in March 2003. He has been eating the fast food sandwiches since 1972 at a rate of at least one a day, and said he has eaten a Big Mac from every state in the union. Still, the 6-foot Gorske has maintained his weight at about 170 pounds. Take that you stinking jihadis! America triumphs again. |
| Posted by:Spot |
| #9 Bragging about how many Big Macs you've eaten is like boasting about all the prostitutes you've laid. A dubious honor to lay claim to, even in the best of light. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-07-21 11:46:55 PM |
| #8 As the great Jerry Seinfeld said " If Chicken McNuggets come from where I McThink they do, I'm not going to McEat 'em!" |
| Posted by: Jen 2004-07-21 11:07:32 PM |
| #7 Kill Bill meets Office Space? |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-07-21 10:51:59 PM |
| #6 I would hate to work near his cubicle. 20K Macs must put a wonderously think cake on the inside of his blood vessels. His plasma must be pumping at an unbeleiveable presure. A paper cut might release a stream of high pressure fluid capable of shearing off a coworker's limb. |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2004-07-21 10:47:37 PM |
| #5 tasted like chicken, too! |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-07-21 10:34:10 PM |
| #4 McNuggets. You should have known better. Chickens are vile creartures. If one of the stupid birds falls over dead, the others will promptly eat it. Has anyone ever heard of a cannibal cow? My first wife and I raised chickens while we lived on a farm in the Texas Panhandle. They were her pet project and she was worried about the coyotes getting them. One night she woke me up about a ruckus out in the chicken coop. "There's a coyote gettin' the chickens," she squawked. "Who cares?" I asked as I tried to pull the pillow over my head. She did, it turned out. I looked up in time to see her grab my Lee-Enfield from of the closet, chamber a round, and aim it through the (fortunately) open window. It was my turn to squawk, "DON'T FIRE THAT IN TH---" BOOOOM! She was a good shot, being a farm girl and all, but she missed the coyote and hit one of her precious chickens instead. .303 Norma softpoint, 10 yards. There were feathers everywhere the next day, but the unfortunate chicken's coop-mates had devoured the rest overnight. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2004-07-21 9:57:32 PM |
| #3 I stopped eating at McDonald's when I got a bad case of food poisoning last year after trying their "new" McNuggets (white meat). Aside from getting sick, I thought the old McNuggets tasted better. |
| Posted by: Bomb-a-rama 2004-07-21 2:55:10 PM |
| #2 WhataBurger, heavens fast food franchise. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-07-21 2:38:18 PM |
| #1 Sorry! (/contrite off) Thought this a Michael M(oo)re story. |
| Posted by: Anonymous5879 2004-07-21 9:44:41 AM |