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Afghanistan/South Asia
Data on terrorists compiled
2004-07-07
The government has made a computerised record of those involved in anti-government and sectarian activities in the country.
"That's it, by Allah! We should have a database!"
"We can put it on the network!"
"But wait! We need a name... Something catchy..."
The Sectarian Terrorism Activities Record (STAR) is held by the Interior Ministry’s National Crisis Management Cell. It was compiled in one year under a special package sponsored by the US government, sources told Daily Times.
It took 'em a year? What'd they use? Soddy programmers?
The names of activists of banned religious organisations, those involved in sectarian violence and terrorist sympathisers have been collected.
"Oh, we're makin' list
And checkin' it twice,
Gotta find out who's naughty and nice..."
Intelligence and law enforcement agency officials collected photos and fingerprints of jailed activists of banned religious groups and those involved in sectarian activities.
"'At's it, Muggsy! Snarl pretty for the camera!"
"Damn, Ahmed! All these guys really do look alike!"
"It's the turbans, Mahmoud..."
However, official sources refused to reveal how many people had been fingerprinted and photographed.
"I can't say. I haven't learned to use the database yet..."
Brigadier Javed Iqbal Cheema, director general of the NCMC, is overseeing the project. The funds for the STAR project were released under a 2002 agreement between Pakistan and the United States. The US government gave $70 million to the Pakistani government to purchase modern equipment to curb terrorism.
I'da done it a lot cheaper than that...
Posted by:Fred

#11  Thank you Mr. Raptor.
I'm not near as ravenous as I was.

AP I expect you've got the right idea.

CNA = Clear Nostril Area
RNA = Roast Beef Noony Area
BNAA = Booger Normally Asperated Area

I'll have more, I'm waiting for Dave (the big lizard) Barry to contact my teeth.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-07-07 3:05:52 PM  

#10  I pity the guy who has to clean the copier.
Posted by: Raptor   2004-07-07 1:14:42 PM  

#9  Shipman---I was thinking iris scans, but a bunch of 'em are missing the key ingredient there, too. We will just have to develop the database with a variety of identifiers, depending upon what is left on the frame.
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-07-07 11:14:52 AM  

#8  Of course tu! A brilliant idea!
But you do realize you've consigned some poor suckers to analizing 10000 butt prints?
Posted by: Shipman   2004-07-07 11:06:33 AM  

#7  From what I've seen, Ship, lot's of them don't have feet either. Maybe they'll just sit them on the copy machine and do ass prints.
Posted by: tu3031   2004-07-07 11:02:50 AM  

#6  did the women (and men) get to wear Burqas for their photos?
Posted by: Frank G   2004-07-07 10:57:50 AM  

#5  I think you could use their feet Brutus... sorta like a birth certificate thingy.
Who knows.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-07-07 10:50:43 AM  

#4  Lessee that's a one-to-many-to-somebody's-daddy-ibn-bin-several-too-many-to-care relationship, right?
Posted by: .com   2004-07-07 8:53:40 AM  

#3  It took so long to develop because of the size - consider all the friggin' aliases the jihadis have.
Posted by: Spot   2004-07-07 8:50:17 AM  

#2  You can lower the size of the database with a few more dead terrorists.
Posted by: Capt America   2004-07-07 1:59:42 AM  

#1  One flaw: how do you fingerprint a guy whose had his hands blown off like our buddy Captain Hook?
Posted by: Brutus   2004-07-07 12:47:39 AM  

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