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| Iran Slams UN Nuclear Text, Demands Changes | |
| 2004-06-12 | |
from Rooters
How dare you! We are Holy Men! See these Black Turbans? The United States says Iran’s nuclear program is a front to build an atomic bomb, but Tehran denies this. The draft resolution will be debated at a meeting of the Vienna-based International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) beginning on Monday. Lying Lies by Liars! The draft deplores Iran’s failure to cooperate fully with a U.N. investigation into suspicions that Tehran might have a covert nuclear weapons program. Diplomats said Iran wants sections cut or changes to soften the wording. "The draft reflects American and some European countries’ stances," Iran’s chief nuclear negotiator Hassan Rohani told Iranian state television. "If the board does not make necessary changes, it means the Europeans are ignoring their commitments," Rohani said. "It will influence Iran’s decision (on cooperation)." Oops? Did he say ’commitments’? Why I believe he did... Odd word... [sniff, sniff] Do I smell a deal? But several diplomats said the Iranians were pleased the text contained no trigger mechanism for the 35-nation IAEA board to report Tehran to the U.N. Security Council for possible sanctions in the event Iran’s cooperation remained sluggish. Whew! So, since Elbaradei is still ’bought’, we can play rope-a-dope some more. Iran insists its nuclear ambitions are limited to generating electricity and wants a softening of the draft to reflect that. The text was sent to IAEA board members earlier this week. Of course! Our oil reserves are only good for another 90 years - we must plan ahead! And besides, we are Holy Men so you must believe whatever lame shit we serve up. Diplomats said Iran also seeks the removal of a section that calls on Iran to end operation of a uranium conversion facility and reverse its decision to begin constructing a heavy water research reactor that would produce weapons-useable plutonium. No, no - we want heavy water for our, um, Olympic swimming pool. It helps our atheletes train. Yeah, that’s it. "THEY WILL REGRET THIS DECISION" Iran’s influential ex-President Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani told worshippers at Friday prayers in Tehran that the draft appeared to be the result of a European-U.S. conspiracy. "The draft resolution shows that the Europeans and Americans have agreed on one point -- which is that Iran should be totally deprived its peaceful nuclear activities," Rafsanjani said. It’s not fair! We wanna be somebody - only nukes get respect! "If it is true, they will regret this decision. We assure them that Iran will not abandon its right," he added. It is a right! Why? Cuz, um, cuz it just is! A non-aligned diplomat told Reuters Iran would have trouble convincing the Non-Aligned Movement (NAM) to soften the text, given it is based almost verbatim on a report on Iran prepared by IAEA chief Mohamed ElBaradei -- although Rohani denied this. More Lies! (I though we already bought this guy!?!??) "We can’t be seen to be contradicting (ElBaradei’s) report," said the diplomat. European and NAM states make up the majority of the board. Curses! Russia, which plans to build a $800-million atomic power plant for Iran at Bushehr, praised Tehran but warned it could scrap the project if Iran failed to cooperate with the IAEA. "Russia will abandon its work in Bushehr if Iran refuses to be transparent or violates any IAEA requirements," Russia’s Interfax news agency quoted President Vladimir Putin as telling reporters at this week’s G8 summit on Sea Island. Yes, we support the IAEA and the UN and Int’l Law and all of that "But so far it has not happened, and Iran is fulfilling all the demands. So there is no need to give up our cooperation." Keep the money coming, boys! Further undermining Iran’s support on the board are revelations that Tehran’s advanced P-2 centrifuge program may have been planned on a massive scale and not as a tiny "research and development" project as Iran insists, diplomats said. Must be a problem with the bereaucracy - we told them only to build one plant - we have 16 you say? Wow, somebody’s gonna catch hell for this... This could generate enough weapons grade uranium for several nuclear warheads a year, one diplomat said. You shoulda bought me, too. The ThugMullocracy is dancing as fast as it can. Somebody has convinced them that they can’t really be held accountable and, should that happen, it would be too late - they’d have their precious nuke and their manhoods would swell to such proportions as to amaze the world. Uh, huh. Right. Tick... Tock... | |
| Posted by:.com |
| #9 Kimmie and the NORKS are using the nuke stuff as a stick, but mainly they are using the nukes and related stuff for foreign exchange. It seems to me that the only thing that the Norks would have going for them for foreign exchange otherwise would be raw materials. Iran, in contrast, is blessed with great oil and gas wealth, plus minerals. They have plenty of resources with which to creat a comfortable and stable life for their people, even they live on some rather lively geological faults. However, the black turbans are ideology driven, so they deny the wealth to their people, and instead, put their resources into uranium concentration technology, as well as nuclear reactors, with no real purpose other than to intimidate or eliminate their neighbors. I agree with the Doctor. Living with the status quo on Iran and hoping for the best is not a proactive stragegy. The only thing I say is that we better have our ducks in line before we give the olde hornets' nest a bat with a 2x4. Things can go to sh*t quickly. |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2004-06-12 7:27:02 PM |
| #8 It wouldn't surprise me if the mullahs were actually more insane than Kimmie; after all, they have a "religion" backing their beliefs, whereas he only has his ego. They have ego, they have image, they have humiliation, and they have Islam - a really, really bad combination. They've stated their intentions numerous times, they're stalling for more time, and they're doing this in the belief that they're spreading the word of some mystical being. I don't normally like to push for war except if it's for a really, really good reason, such as liberation from an insane, spittle-emitting, criminal dictator, or the like - but in this case, I say get 'em now. Bomb 'em hard, but above all, bomb 'em fast. A special-ops team taking this thing out from the ground might not be a bad idea, either. They don't have a right to nuclear weapons - not because nuclear capability is some sort of "club," but because the ones who want in are not going to be using it wisely. They want the power, and they don't care what the consequences are. And they need to be taken out before they do the same to us. |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-06-12 7:15:30 PM |
| #7 We got your nukes right here, Mullahs. Catch! I bet they wish Clinton was still in power to give them the same deal he gave NoK |
| Posted by: Capt America 2004-06-12 7:09:20 PM |
| #6 I get a kick out of "ex-President Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani told worshippers at Friday prayers" Religion my ass! |
| Posted by: Lucky 2004-06-12 12:36:49 PM |
| #5 Either the last case of a state blatantly flouting 'International Law', or the start of every dingbat dictorship arming itself with nuclear weapons I concur, Phil_B. Iran already demonstrated their intention, nay outright agenda, of flouting International Law when they violated international soil and took over the American embassy. There is zero difference between Iranian foreign policy doctrine and the goals of Mufti Shamzai: Shamzai was the principal exponent of International Islamism which holds, firstly, that the loyalty of a Muslim is first to his religion and then only to the country of which he is resident or a citizen; secondly, that Muslims do not recognise national frontiers and hence have the right and the obligation to wage jihad anywhere to protect their religion; and, thirdly, that the Muslims have the right and the religious obligation to acquire and use weapons of mass destruction to protect their religion, if necessary ... If Europe is so blind as to ignore this blatant threat to global stability, America must not be. One can only imagine the contingency planning going on in Israel at this time. Britain, Germany and France penned a tough draft resolution this week deploring Iran's failure to cooperate fully with the U.N. nuclear watchdog, the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA). "Deplore?" Like they "deplore" terrorism? What is it with their "hand wringing" mentality? ElBaradei is unable to recognize his own native Egypt's covert nuclear weapons program. What chance is there that he will take adequate action against another Arab country's attempts to build an atomic bomb? The only page ElBaradei has lifted from Egypt is d'Nile and its breadth is equalled only by the torrent of sludge we are expected to gulp down while these IAEA dilettants prink about. As a simple thought experiemnt, try to imagine even one possible benefit (save for the mullahs) of Iran obtaining nuclear weapons. The regional instability and potential for leakage of fissile material to terrorists are both intolerable. One need only examine the constant tension between Pakistan and India to gain insight into what awaits the Middle East. As with Pakistan, there is also every chance that Iran will seek to become the world's new nuclear black marketplace. How would renewed proliferation of nuclear technology to all Islamic nations benefit global peace? France and Russia's naked pursuit of financial gain at the cost of turning a blind eye to Iran's nuclear aspirations is simple diplomatic bankruptcy. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-06-12 11:31:04 AM |
| #4 A little more detail from a press conference... Some people just never learn when to STFU... |
| Posted by: .com 2004-06-12 9:04:15 AM |
| #3 Interesting situation! Either the last case of a state blatantly flouting 'International Law', or the start of every dingbat dictorship arming itself with nuclear weapons - Imagine ZimBobwe, the Paleos and Sudan with nuclear weapons. I suspect the Israelis will resolve this situation for us. |
| Posted by: Phil B 2004-06-12 6:53:31 AM |
| #2 Oh goody, a plot! Conspiracies everywhere! |
| Posted by: mojo 2004-06-12 1:33:39 AM |
| #1 The only functional solution is to bomb Iran now, bomb them fast and bomb them thoroughly. Do we really need a redux of North Korea? That is precisely what we are going to get. Europe and Russia be d@mned. Just as with the Oil-for-Food program, these putative allies have far too many financial fatted calves at stake to possibly make an impartial decision. ElBaradei's toothless IAEA has all the credibility and authority of Al Sharpton. Most ironic of all is that once the warheads and missiles are mated, Europe (along with Israel) will be the first to find themselves in Iran's crosshairs. It is the exact same blindness they exhibit about the sales of advanced arms to communist China. At least with the PRC they are resorting to the pretence of human rights agreements. With Iran, there is no such thing, only obsfucation and obstruction. We also need some isotope samples from Pakistan post haste in order to better determine exactly where the traces of highly enriched material in Iran's centrifuges came from. It is critical to correctly distinguish points of origin so that we will know who gets glassed and Windexed if Iran attempts to launch even a single nuclear attack, be it an actual device or just a dirty bomb. A nuclear Iran is everyone's worst nightmare. It goes beyond all credibility that so few are willing to admit this simple fact. A devastating response in kind must await not only Iran, but those who facilitated their nuclear program. The looming crisis in Iran almost single-handedly justifies America's continuing presence in Iraq. |
| Posted by: Zenster 2004-06-12 1:17:47 AM |