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Britain
Fanatic’s ’danger’ hooks are taken off
2004-05-28
Some local color on the latest saga of Cap’n Hook.
CAGED Abu Hamza cursed Britain and America after being stripped of his hooks and locked in a police cell after his dramatic arrest, it was revealed last night. The evil hate preacher had to face the humiliation of having both hooks unscrewed after his arrest — in case he used them to attack staff or to hurt himself. Prison service protocol dictates that anything that could be used in an attack must be taken away from prisoners. One insider told The Sun: “He is truly stumped.”
Ah, British wit!
Hamza — who claims his hands were blown off by a mine when he fought with Muslim forces against the Russians in Afghanistan — shoved his arms deep into his crotch pockets to hide his embarrassment. Hamza came to the UK in 1980 as a student and worked as a nightclub bouncer. He then went to Afghanistan to fight alongside Muslims battling Soviet occupation. A police source said last night: “He cut a pathetic figure when he was brought in and put in his cell. “He looked crushed and kept muttering about how America was going to kill him. His trademark sneer was gone. He looked like a man who knows his number is up.”
He thinks it's bad now, wait'll they put the ladies' underwear on his head...
Hamza was still without the hooks when he arrived on the induction wing of Belmarsh prison after his court appearance last night. The wing houses 42 prisoners, most of whom have just received lengthy sentences and are security risks.
Posted by:ed

#21  read headline
brain says.....


danger + hooks = Danger Danger Will Robinson...
Posted by: meeps   2004-05-28 10:59:46 PM  

#20  He's a big boy. We'll have to put him first row, center, for the Jihadi buttocks pyramid photo.
Posted by: Classical_Liberal   2004-05-28 7:56:58 PM  

#19   “He looked crushed and kept muttering about how America was going to kill him."

An imam calling for martyrs but afraid to become one. I guess he's not interested in the 72 virgins and the dark eyed boys forever young. He talks a good game but is afraid to play. Islam at its' finest.
Posted by: Larry Everett   2004-05-28 7:31:28 PM  

#18  Oh yeah, one more thing. How the he*l does a bouncer become a "holy man". Whacky stuff.
Posted by: Ol_Dirty_American   2004-05-28 4:41:16 PM  

#17  Okay, is it just me or does everyone think that anyone who has one eye, hooks for hands and says Osama is a great guy is automatically guilty of something and should be put away.
Posted by: Ol_Dirty_American   2004-05-28 4:38:59 PM  

#16  Someone please photoshop him with a plunger for a hand.
Posted by: Tibor   2004-05-28 2:43:22 PM  

#15   “He is truly stumped.”

It's a pity they weren't talking about his neck.
Posted by: Zenster   2004-05-28 2:05:58 PM  

#14  But BigEd, we are about to rip him a new @$$hole. He is truly blessed.
Posted by: ed   2004-05-28 1:04:46 PM  

#13  
One eye. No Hands. Shrivled Brain.
He ought to comlain to Allah.
Posted by: BigEd   2004-05-28 1:03:03 PM  

#12  Can he feed himself with his toes grasping utensils? Or do they blend all his meals and provide him with a straw and a cup?

How does he pull down his pants in front of the "great steel throne" in his cell to perform "natural functions"? Or do the hold him down and put diapers on him 3 times a day?
Posted by: BigEd   2004-05-28 12:52:10 PM  

#11  What a face! Now I know where the concept came from, for Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Posted by: Grunter   2004-05-28 12:38:26 PM  

#10  The UK media always refer to "the hook-handed muslim cleric, Abu Hamza...". Now they're going to be stumped. It'll have to be: "The hands-free cleric, Abu Hamza [was rendered 'armless today...]"
Posted by: Bulldog   2004-05-28 12:18:51 PM  

#9  Humiliation™---the Infidel's not-so-secret weapon. Obviously we have surrepticiously stumbled upon the key to defeating Jihadis everywhere.

Fred---thank's for the aro-imagery. Just before breakfast. Jeeze Louise!
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2004-05-28 12:10:09 PM  

#8  They should've kept the hooks attached and shoved them into a 220 AC outlet. That'd probably keep him out of trouble for awhile.
Posted by: tu3031   2004-05-28 12:09:42 PM  

#7  Abu "Danger Hooks" Hamza.
Posted by: Rex Mundi   2004-05-28 11:21:15 AM  

#6  LOL now Fred, that was just baaaaaddd

er, what do you call an "aroma visual"? ;-)
Posted by: Frank G   2004-05-28 11:09:43 AM  

#5  â€œHe is truly stumped.”

That's cold.
Posted by: Mike   2004-05-28 11:00:11 AM  

#4  Frank,

Crotchless for his formal portrait, perhaps, but for everyday wear you need major "she hasn't had a shower in three hot days" aroma therapy.
Posted by: Fred   2004-05-28 10:59:31 AM  

#3   The evil hate preacher had to face the humiliation

Say what ya will about the Sun but they do have the occasional turn o'phrase.
Posted by: Shipman   2004-05-28 10:50:00 AM  

#2  "wait'll they put the ladies' underwear on his head"

I'm thinking crotchless panties, so his lil' turban can stay on
Posted by: Frank G   2004-05-28 10:44:48 AM  

#1  Take your stumps and put one in your mouth and the other in your ass, Hook boy.
Posted by: Howard UK   2004-05-28 10:33:36 AM  

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