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| Great White North |
| Canada’s troops to reclaim Arctic |
| 2004-03-25 |
| Five-year plan to ’put footprints in the snow’ and assert northern sovereignty by Adrian Humphreys, The National Post EFL Canada is launching an extensive five-year plan to march soldiers through all of its uninhabited Arctic territory in the largest bid yet to exert sovereignty over its northern domain, an area drawing increasing international attention and conflicting territorial claims. "We must reclaim this uninhabited frozen wasteland for Canada, eh!" "Why is that, Doug?" "So some other hosehead country doesn’t take it by adverse possession." "Ah, Doug?" "Yeah, Bob?" "What other country would want it?" "I dunno. Want another Moosehead?" "Yeah. Beauty, eh?" The enhanced northern security and sovereignty efforts encompass both low-tech manpower and cutting-edge science, ranging from patrols by soldiers driving snowmobiles and carrying antique rifles (which are more reliable in the biting cold), to an intensive satellite surveillance system to monitor the Arctic from space, the National Post has learned. "Allright you, there! You’re violating Canadian territory. Stop, or I’ll shoot!" "Ah, Doug, we don’t have any budget for ammunition." "Oh. Okay. Well, ah, stop or I’ll . . . beat you like a baby seal!" "Ah, Doug?" "Yeah, Bob." "That is a baby seal." "Oh." "We’re putting footprints in the snow where they are not normally put," said Colonel Norris Pettis, who as commander of Canadian Forces Northern Area is the ranking military officer in the north. I pity the poor bloody, er, frozen, infantry who have to go do it. |
| Posted by:Mike |
| #13 Spent two weeks of pure misery in March one year at a place called Cold Lake, Ontario. The name fit. We were about 20 miles from Hudson's Bay, it was -40F, the wind never stopped blowing, and I've never seen diesel fuel freeze so fast before. I don't know if rifles of any kind would have fired, but touching bare metal with bare hands was a definite no-no! Was VERY glad to get back to South Carolina! |
| Posted by: Old Patriot 2004-03-26 12:15:34 AM |
| #12 Don't laugh...most of America's drinking water comes from Canada! |
| Posted by: Rafael 2004-03-25 9:55:15 PM |
| #11 carrying antique rifles (which are more reliable in the biting cold), The reason I think is fewer moving parts to bind up. But I've never shot a rifle at 50 below either. |
| Posted by: Bill Nelson 2004-03-25 9:28:47 PM |
| #10 Ha ha ha ha ha ha.......... EH! |
| Posted by: Texan 2004-03-25 8:45:09 PM |
| #9 China's not too far off. Posted a story someplace last year about the Canadians getting a call from up North. Seems a bunch of Chinese sailors were wandering around town. China had sent a ship to the Northwest Passage and it made port in one of the villages up there. The first the gov't knew was the call. |
| Posted by: Chuck 2004-03-25 8:36:40 PM |
| #8 Oil, diamonds, and mosquitos. |
| Posted by: .com 2004-03-25 7:34:00 PM |
| #7 JarHead... you got any chilly trainning? You may have to defend O'Canada against the aggressor state Ming. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-03-25 7:29:45 PM |
| #6 Does anyone know why/how the old rifles are more reliable in the cold. You'd think of all places, Canada would have some modern rifles that work in the cold. |
| Posted by: Yosemite Sam 2004-03-25 5:48:40 PM |
| #5 The country that ought to be nervous about some one else wanting "Lebensraum" is Australia. Between China, India and Indonesia I would think Canberra is thinking really hard about its strategic future. Plus the thing with Canada is I wonder if there has been some oil exploration going on, on the sly up north. |
| Posted by: Cheddarhead 2004-03-25 5:42:29 PM |
| #4 Don't laugh... when Global Warming kicks in, and the US is a desert, today's worthless frozen tundra will be tomorrow's fruitful bread basket. Just kidding, go ahead and LYAO with the rest of us!!! |
| Posted by: Hyper 2004-03-25 5:21:05 PM |
| #3 I actually think China might be licking its chops...all that resource rich open land must look pretty good to an overcrowded Asian nation right about now. Especially considering that there will be around 70 mil frustrated single young men coming out of there in the next 20 years...look out Baby Seals! |
| Posted by: mjh 2004-03-25 5:07:25 PM |
| #2 Why? The Esquimeaux getting uppity? |
| Posted by: BH 2004-03-25 5:03:32 PM |
| #1 Am I alone or do Canadians have WAY to much time on their hands? Hand me a molsen plz! |
| Posted by: Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter) 2004-03-25 5:02:42 PM |