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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Hard-on for the Presidency |
| 2004-03-19 |
| MasturbateForPeace.com announced its endorsement of Ralph Nader for president in the 2004 election. In addition to bestowing this much sought-after endorsement, the site also launched a ’Nads for Nader campaign, rallying support for Nader nationwide through the power of masturbation. They claim they’re serious about this. "No other candidate has ever had the opportunity to tap into the masturbation vote," explained a Masturbate for Peace spokesperson. "This huge block of voters has the power to bring sweeping changes on the political landscape and carry a candidate into office. "Imagine the tremendous political power if everyone who masturbated got behind a single cause, a single candidate," he explained. Take the sticky floors OUT of the porn mart and put them into the voting booth, where they belong! Nader Wanker House Parties ’Nads for Nader house parties introduce a new paradigm in grassroots organizing, as Nader supporters literally come together for peace. As more and more people join the movement, Ralph Nader’s 2004 presidential candidacy is bound to pick up momentum and build toward a powerful climax. Start with the issues, then bust out the tissues Hosting your own masturbation party is surprisingly simple. Here are some guidelines: Have a meeting agenda and talking points on the Nader platform ready when you begin. Emphasize how important it is to vote for Nader, and introduce the idea of masturbating for peace. Provide lube and safe sex supplies for guests. Encourage each other with slogans like, "Wank for Justice, Wank for Peace" and "Stroke the Vote." Show some video clips highlighting Nader’s inspiring political message and candidacy, as well as non-exploitative, sex positive porn; we suggest lesbian porn because it appeals to diverse groups. Also, give out T-shirts that read "Lick Bush and Dick in ’04." Can these people be any more stupid and any less infantile? |
| Posted by:growler |
| #13 No, it just makes Nader the Master bater. |
| Posted by: ed 2004-3-19 11:08:18 PM |
| #12 "MasturbateForPeace.com announced its endorsement of Ralph Nader for president in the 2004 election." Does that make Ralph Nader master of this domain name? |
| Posted by: Tibor 2004-3-19 10:51:50 PM |
| #11 for some reason im not thinking this is very mood inspiring. i wonder if they go to party with an empty pickle jar handy. Gee, thanks Mucky. I just lost my appetite for the pizza I ordered.... |
| Posted by: Pappy 2004-3-19 9:18:28 PM |
| #10 This is also contrary to progressive principals in perpetuating the obvious injustice of the sexually priveleged having all the first class stuff they want while the less fortunate must rely on their own poor resources as a substitute. Justice NOW! Share the wealth! I want Salma Hayak! OUCH!! My wife just saw that. Ouch again! OK, ok, it was just for effect; I am one of the priveleged elite, sort of a limousine liberal of sexual inequality. OUCH! Be back in a little bit. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2004-3-19 8:55:34 PM |
| #9 ...but isn't this kind of initiative and self-reliance alien to the concept of liberalism? |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2004-3-19 8:46:45 PM |
| #8 Perhaps The Circle Jerks and The Strokes will be playing Nader's Inaugural Ball. |
| Posted by: eLarson 2004-3-19 8:32:13 PM |
| #7 I don't understand why yet another special interest is abandoning the DNC in it's time of need. I know that the Green Party has a European equivalent; do these guys have an EU counterpart to pursue the same policy goals? |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2004-3-19 8:15:20 PM |
| #6 I hate to see the soft money greasing the palms of Nader voters |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-3-19 7:46:59 PM |
| #5 And all these years, you thought it was just name-calling when we referred to Naderists as "wankers." It might be interesting to meet some of these people some time, but I wouldn't shake hands with them. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2004-3-19 6:28:36 PM |
#4 Can these people be any more stupid and any less infantile?I'm sure they can; just give them time. :-p |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2004-3-19 6:02:26 PM |
| #3 Imagine the tremendous political power if everyone who masturbated got behind...a single candidate," i hope poor nader have a good towel handy. Show some video clips highlighting Nader’s inspiring political message and candidacy for some reason im not thinking this is very mood inspiring. i wonder if they go to party with an empty pickle jar handy. |
| Posted by: muck4doo 2004-3-19 5:19:03 PM |
| #2 Jackoffs will do what Jackoffs will do |
| Posted by: Cheddarhead 2004-3-19 4:44:54 PM |
| #1 Well, I've got my orders and party discipline is party discipline. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2004-3-19 3:57:22 PM |